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The Sexual Politics Of The Mushroom Kingdom

Mario

What a poor, poor sap the red-clad plumber is. Peach has got him wrapped round her pinky finger and he just can't break away. He's a good guy under the spell of a bad woman, and what's happening to him is just tragic. He and Luigi turned up in the Mushroom Kingdom with the best of intentions, and finding it in turmoil, honourably set off to help. But Peach just loved having three men (Well, two men and a giant dino-turtle) pursuing her, and thus a dark, dirty little cycle of emotional abuse was born.



It's not Mario's fault, but he's not helping himself. A self-defeating need to please is at the core of his psychological make-up, possibly stemming from depression or anxiety issues (It's a textbook symptom), and the falsely simpering "Thank You" or half-arsed peck on the cheek he gets from Peach after putting himself through Hell to save her each time is more than enough emotional pay-off for him to convince himself she's still worth it.

In his mind, it means she really does love him after all, and that any day soon they'll be together. She's just busy and has a complicated life is all. Being royal takes up a lot of her time, and he doesn't want to push her when she's getting over the trauma of another kidnapping. And if you don't think she plays up those excuses to keep him hanging on, then you're looking at this from a very naive angle indeed. It's a horrible situation, and a classic example of the abuse cycle. He can probably see what's happening, but he chooses to ignore it because he doesn't want to. As messed up as it is, there's security in the status quo, and as long as the bait keeps dangling, he'll keep taking it.

35 comments

  • MW3M - January 20, 2009 10:51 p.m.

    This is the greatest article you have ever made. Hands down.
  • Coolbeans69 - January 21, 2009 1 a.m.

    this was pretty great
  • Corsair89 - February 9, 2009 9:37 p.m.

    I gotta say, this article is fantastic. Hands down one of the cleverest, thorough, and well-written articles I've even seen on this site, which is saying a lot. Very, very good job. In Peach's defense, she did get off her ass in Super Princess Peach to save Mario when he got kidnapped. She also helped Mario and was a playable character for most of the adventure in Super Paper Mario.
  • Stryde22 - February 9, 2009 10:52 p.m.

    now THIS is the kind of article i like to read. XD. the psychological analysis of fictional characters can be WAY too entertaining
  • Wordup95 - February 10, 2009 1:36 a.m.

    ... funny, :D
  • AA95mp - March 13, 2009 8:36 p.m.

    do you think toads could be drugs they are magic mushrooms.
  • reroxas - April 16, 2009 10:32 p.m.

    Ya know I always kinda understood the Mario story. That's why I don't really play Mario anymore why because Mario f**ked everyone over for Peach,Peach is a slut, Bowser is what this article said and Luigi Yoshi and everybody else is getting f**ked over because of this. And Luigi is better.
  • fallout3mutielover - April 19, 2009 6:12 p.m.

    haha stupid peach and her hoish life
  • Evernight - July 10, 2009 3:09 p.m.

    You forgot to mention Yoshi having to save Mario's child (where ever that is from) twice - taking care of the child like the nice uncle would when a absentee father goes gallivanting off after some trim. Yoshi is a saint for that - but like you said he no doubt got sick of the BS and left him. Friends will help you move - but they won't play daddy to your kids while you pursue a destructive relationship.
  • VideoGameKing - July 11, 2009 9:16 p.m.

    dosent luigi have dasiy as his Girlfriend?
  • barrage7667 - July 11, 2009 10:13 p.m.

    yea mario is a dick he will make sure daisy is ok but his own son!!! naaahhh let yoshi do it who cares if he dies as long as mario can get it on with his "i-need-more-attention-pay-attention-to-me" whore peach all nite he can always make another kid rite? dsigusting
  • TheWebSwinger - July 13, 2009 12:48 a.m.

    I don't see how Bowser wins. He's always falling in lava pits.
  • lovinmyps3 - July 14, 2009 2:39 a.m.

    Oh my god... that BITCH!! Haha
  • GrantG - July 14, 2009 2:54 a.m.

    it all makes sense now!
  • gatornation1254 - July 21, 2009 8:16 p.m.

    Man Luigi could kick Mario's ass any day of the week. And Peach needs to just shut her whore mouth.
  • cell289 - January 25, 2009 3:31 a.m.

    9 pages the sexual relations over certain 1979 pixel art makes me question my role in the clock tower of life.
  • EatShorts8 - March 10, 2009 4 a.m.

    the Bowser Jr one really gets u thinking
  • adrenaguy - March 12, 2009 10:47 p.m.

    you know, eatshorts8, that's a little disturbing O_O
  • Da-Ku - May 4, 2009 3:57 p.m.

    This is pure awesomeness, i understand it more than i did at its first publishing xD We need more like this
  • Shift - May 18, 2009 3:24 p.m.

    Personally, I think that this is gr's best article. Hands down. I'll never EVER look at Mario or Peach or any of them the same way again. Especially Bowser Jr. O_O

Showing 1-20 of 35 comments

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