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The sexiest sprites of all time

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Morrigan

In truth, this entire list could have been populated with fighting game characters, and it took a lot of work to limit the entrants to the very best. Among the lucky ladies is this outstanding little specimen. While Felecia was intended to be the "sexy one" of the Darkstalkers franchise, she was upstaged by the bat-eared boob-queen, and it's not hard to see why.

Tight clothes, a dark brooding exterior and a massive pair of ... wings... Morrigan is the ultimate fantasy for both goths, and those who secretly find goths hot but are too afraid of conventional social norms to admit it lest they get ostracized by the menfolk. So basically Morrigan is the ultimate fantasy to everybody.


Tyris Flare

She may hate Death Adder, but I've got a different snake she can acquaint herself with. I am of course talking about penis, employing my razor-sharp wordplay skills in order to blow your mind. Oh shut up, you can't do any better.

This flame-haired temptress from the Golden Axe series seems to think that doing battle in a bikini is a wise idea, and I don't blame either Ax Battler or Gillius Thunderhead for not discouraging her from this course of action. She has 16 bits of world class tits and nobody's taking that away from her.


Mai

Boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs milk.


Etna

I used to work with a van driver whose motto was "anything more than a handful's a waste," and I think that describes Etna perfectly. Of course, this van driver also used to say "A woman's got to have a massive great big dirtbox," so I don't know if using his words of wisdom in a published article is the most appropriate thing to do.

Nevertheless, this fiery trollop from downstairs might skirt a little too close to the jailbait border, but she is several thousand years old, so everything's above board. EVERYTHING.


The Native American From Custer's Revenge

Rounding out our sexiest pixels is, of course, that Native American ... or rather Naked American hurr hurr... lady from Custer's Revenge. Yes, it's true that she's little more than a blocky collection of vaguely flesh-colored squares, and yes it's true that there are coffee makers with a more humanoid appearance than her, but you're forgetting one thing:

She is naked.

The very concept of nudity is obviously attractive, more attractive in fact than a real woman who is fully dressed, because we are gamers, and the idea of something being naked and possibly female is the greatest thing in the world. That is, obviously, why the garbled mess of nondescript shapes in Custer's Revenge is the sexiest sprite of all time.

Mar 2, 2011

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44 comments

  • igothitwithabulb - March 7, 2011 6:51 a.m.

    I may be wrong, but don't you see Peach in 8-4, not 1-4?
  • jackthemenace - March 4, 2011 5:02 p.m.

    Oh yeah. Had a cosplay of Cammy with her arse out as my background for like a week. I've never played, or even SEEN Darkstalkers anywhere, but Morrigan is HAWT. And lastly, Etna. I loved Disgaea, and Laharls weakness to big boobs was so funny, Etna has to be my favourite off this list.
  • nicolaslara - March 4, 2011 3:21 p.m.

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  • DIStroyinmasses - March 4, 2011 12:38 p.m.

    I know is sad to fancy a computer game character but TIFA! thanks to ebay for suplying my girlfriend with a Tifa cosplay costume :P
  • lovinmyps3 - March 3, 2011 11:40 p.m.

    Morrigan is a babe! Even the sprite is sexy! *fapfapfap*
  • Voodoowolfe - March 3, 2011 8:43 p.m.

    Cammy was my first vid-game crush. I loved to play her and win. Just so, oh wait here it comes...bingo ass with a turn around smile! Nothing says I love you more.
  • Ravenbom - March 3, 2011 8:32 p.m.

    Oh Mr Sterling! How right you are! Still, Tyrus is at the top of my list, if only because she was the first girl to battle with my heart strings in a bikini.
  • CoppertopJohnson - March 3, 2011 5:57 p.m.

    I always preferred Chun-Li to Cammy because she had some meat on her bones, but that's just me. Morrigan was spot on, though.
  • Sevej - March 3, 2011 4:32 p.m.

    I *always* play using Blaze...
  • Rascanuvols - March 3, 2011 3:27 p.m.

    @jmcgrotty Litchi IS an sprite :/
  • FanofSaiyan - March 3, 2011 2:43 p.m.

    No honorable mentions? I think Orchid from Killer Instinct deserves a shoutout!
  • monkeyrevenge - March 3, 2011 12:59 p.m.

    WHAT?!?! No katt? Let me remind you. http://sdb.drshnaps.com/display.php?object=7502
  • jmcgrotty - March 3, 2011 8:58 a.m.

    Some of you people suggesting alternate people (Litchi, Zero Suit Samus, Street Fighter 3 I guess technically would be sprites, but I would say they are not in the spirit of this list, the reason Felicia wasn't added was addressed in the article) need to buy a dictionary and/or learn the difference between a sprite and a polygon. It isn't just a list of hot video game chars. Jungle Jill was an overlooked one, though, I agree.
  • Rascanuvols - March 3, 2011 8:48 a.m.

    @S135 Yup. at the very least, Litchi should be here. Also, Etna looks 11 years old.
  • Snowyjoe - March 3, 2011 7:27 a.m.

    Etna used her Sexy Attack!!! Prinny was out of range!
  • FauxFurry - March 3, 2011 7:17 a.m.

    No Kongiku from Murumasa:the Demon Blade or Poison from Final Fight/Street Fighter 3 or even Alex from Street Fighter 3 or Jimmy Lee from Double Dragon (HD)? For shame, Sterling. For shame. Other than that, the article was journalism at its finest.
  • GayforGilbert - March 3, 2011 6:34 a.m.

    BoneRadar. >________________>
  • funster - March 3, 2011 5:46 a.m.

    Fantastic fan-fictitious factoids fine fellow. Especially loved the part about boobs x 50... milk.
  • Spybreak8 - March 3, 2011 5:24 a.m.

    @Ampatent Yeah I was thinking the same thing but my gif looks different. AH can't find it atm.
  • CrazySmurf - March 3, 2011 4:27 a.m.

    You gotta love sprites. Even if they might not look as good as some real women, they don't mind if you stare at them for hours. Much unlike the real thing. While I'm not even close to the topic, who else is against restraining orders?

Showing 1-20 of 44 comments

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