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The sexiest sprites of all time

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If you're reading GamesRadar, chances are good that you're here for lists featuring sexy videogame women. Congratulations, you are doing the Internet properly! Now, we've done all sorts of sexy articles, and as graphics strive to be more and more realistic, we have sexier and sexier things to talk about. It wasn't always this way, however. Think back to the era of the humble sprite.


Above: HAWT 

Sprites have been with us since the earliest days of gaming and still exist in many portable, digital or niche titles today. They've gotten prettier over the years, but nobody looks to them as a source of sleazy sexual gratification. Well, that changes now! Come with us as we celebrate the forgotten girls of gaming, and take a peek at some of the sexiest sprites of all time.


Blaze

Streets of Rage is a fantastic game and if you disagree then you're a terrible human being. Asskicking heroine Blaze never gets her due when it comes to appreciation of the digital female form, but she's a 16-bit stunner that deserves some recognition. She might not have a much of a face to speak of, but she does have a short skirt and can German suplex punks like they were made out of rice paper. That's got to count for something.

Blaze, like the other Streets of Rage players, never really caught on and while the game remains a fondly remembered classic, nobody's going to put this girl on their list of favorite videogame characters. Nevertheless, Blaze was a woman of her era, and one of the sexiest sprites ever.


Cammy

An obvious pick, Cammy may have received some visual upgrades over the years, gaining a third dimension and cutting down on the pixelation, but her original sprite is still one of the hottest. You won't catch me disagreeing that Chun-Li has her charms, and maybe it's just my Colonial bias speaking, but Cammy's always been the star in this writer's eyes.

Plus, as tempting as Chun-Li's thunderthighs are, Cammy's the one with the big arse hanging out of her leotard, and that's what scores points here. Everyone knows that it's the amount of flesh that matters, not the actual attractiveness or the girl or that mythical "personality" thing women are supposed to have.


The Dark Queen

I imagine that many 20-30 year-olds currently found in the BDSM community can trace their whip n' leather fantasies right back to the NES and Battletoads. It would be safe to wager that the Dark Queen awakened more than a few dark interests in the hearts and minds of young gamers, sowing a kinky seed that would sprout into an oak tree of carpet burns and thumbscrews once they came of age.

There’s no shortage of leather-clad bad girls in videogames these days, but they all owe a little something to this enterprising villainess. She paved the way for the women of the future. Like a suffragette ... except that comparison is grossly inappropriate.


Samus Aran

Yes, yes, yes, it was a big surprise when we all found out Samus was a woman, blah blah blah. Forget about all that though, BECAUSE THAT SPRITE ALMOST LOOKS LIKE IT'S WEARING A BIKINI A BIT IF YOU SQUINT YOUR EYES FAP FAP FAP!

Samus has gone from strength to strength since this early collection of pixels, but I bet you really could masturbate over this if you tried really, really hard. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that somebody's already done it. Multiple times. Then killed somebody's dog.

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44 comments

  • Austin_SJ - March 2, 2011 10:58 p.m.

    Hey Jim, maybe you made that mistake on infinity blade because the sprites distracted you.
  • MkLangley - March 2, 2011 11:12 p.m.

    those are just aweful, lol.
  • 435 - March 2, 2011 11:15 p.m.

    I'm sorry, nobody's going to put Blaze Fielding on the top of their favorite videogame character list? I BEG TO DIFFER. She is forever in my heart.
  • Mamudo - March 2, 2011 11:35 p.m.

    The Native American From Custer's Revenge-Bitch be fine as hell
  • DeathbyFira - March 2, 2011 11:43 p.m.

    lol dont forget that Mai has a nice ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass also lol and i always had the hots for Nina from the Breath of fire Series mainly 2 and also i did have a thing for those chicks from the Joe and Mac series come on i fight Giant Dinosaurs and in the end i get a mack down from hot cave women lol
  • garnsr - March 2, 2011 11:44 p.m.

    I was hoping for a better punchline from a Jim Sterling article. I'm not sure what I was hoping for, though.
  • Ampatent - March 2, 2011 11:47 p.m.

    I'm kind of surprised the animated gif of Mai's fighting stance isn't being used, it would probably better fit the informative paragraph that followed. B-B-B-BONUS! http://i.imgur.com/rO2hs.gif http://i.imgur.com/SsViq.gif
  • AndIThoughtHeSmelledLikePizzaOnTheOutside - March 2, 2011 11:47 p.m.

    Agreed. I can;t believe they haven't done this topic yet.
  • S135 - March 2, 2011 11:48 p.m.

    What, no mention of Blazblue? BLASPHEMY!
  • FOZ - March 2, 2011 11:52 p.m.

    You're supposed to put a gif of Mai. It's not complete without that. Also, the male human character in Golden Axe has an even less practical outfit than Tyris.
  • IceBlueKirby - March 2, 2011 11:56 p.m.

    Blaze was my first video game gal crush, but Mai took the cake. For pretty much the reason described above. Even my dad noticed when I was playing KOF...90-something in a restaurant.
  • Randomwordcombination - March 3, 2011 12:07 a.m.

    HA! Awesome.
  • WickedSid - March 3, 2011 12:16 a.m.

    That big dude looks like he's ready to drop the hammer on Tyris. I am, of course talking about sex. Get out-written, Jimmy boy. The Mai description could have very well been used for Morrigan as well, aside from the milk part of course as she's a demon. P.S. Someone needs to update the Morrigan sprite with nipples as they are not present, chalk it up to the demon-ness?
  • RogerBauman - March 3, 2011 12:20 a.m.

    What? Bill and Lance from Contra don't even get a mention. I mean, I get that this is GamesRadar and neither of them have big, jiggly papayas or anything, but those are some of the sexiest sprites EVAR. I call sexist shenanigans (or busty bias). Either way, must have alliteration.
  • Psychoho1ic - March 3, 2011 12:21 a.m.

    I always thought Rydia from Final Fantasy II(US) had it going on.
  • JTHomeslice465 - March 3, 2011 12:30 a.m.

    I love that you reference that cab driver.
  • profile0000 - March 3, 2011 12:52 a.m.

    Haha! Very good article, Jim. I'm liking the work that you have done for GR lately, keep it up.
  • EnragedTortoise1 - March 3, 2011 12:55 a.m.

    Yeah, where's Rydia?
  • Japanaman - March 3, 2011 1:41 a.m.

    You TOTALLY forgot Felicia, Jungle Jill, Jetta, Zero Suit Samus, and uh.... well, I guess I wouldn't count that chick from Revolution X seeing as she turns into a guy.... that turns into a robot... that turns into a pile of scrap metal.
  • H311DUCk - March 3, 2011 1:57 a.m.

    Hilarious, great article Sterling.

Showing 1-20 of 44 comments

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