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The sexiest new characters of the decade

MISS 2007: Franziska von Karma

Introduced in: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Justice for All

The whip. The spiked heels. The black leather gloves. The contemptuous German accent. The soul-withering expression of utter disdain. Franziska von Karma hates you and, more than anything else in the world, wants to hurt you. As a powerful prosecutor, that means she’ll tamper with evidence, break judicial rules, eavesdrop on your investigation and even knock you unconscious in the middle of court.

Sexy for sadomasochists? Sure, but what makes von Karma so irresistible to the rest of us is the fragile vulnerability buried deep beneath her terrifyingly tough exterior. In truth, she’s only 18, and only so vicious because she’s desperate to prove her worth in the legal profession and to avenge her formerly famous, now disgraced (by you) father. Show her the harm in her ways, show her that she can trust you and, in time, you might just win her over and finally meet the real – and even more attractive – Franziska.

Or you could stick with the whip. We wouldn’t blame you.

Sexiest moment: Calling you a “foolish fool” whenever you dare to question her brilliance. She thinks it’s insulting… we think it’s adorable.


MISTER 2007: Nathan Drake

Introduced in: Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune

Nathan Drake is a fast-talking, snarky son of a bitch who steals dead people's stuff, but we just can't get enough of him. Introduced as the descendant of the famous pirate Sir Francis Drake, Nate follows the diary of his ancestor toward gold and pirates. With a charming wit and lopsided grin reminiscent of Harrison Ford, the gunfights and high-speed action sequences of Uncharted become unforgettable moments in the life of a man we'd love to know (and maybe undress for in a whole different kind of adventure).

What makes Nate Mister 2007, though, isn’t just the fact that we could stare at his ass for hours on end. Nate is a man of principle who never leaves a fellow adventurer behind, even after a plane crash on an island inhabited by mutant humans and mercenaries. He's even willing to work with his enemies toward the greater good -- the greater good being not dying at the hands of mutant cannibals. Not one to let the weird and upsetting rattle him, Nate keeps up the adventuring spirit even in the face of fiery death. This winning attitude, plus his heroic rescue of a journalist from a downed helicopter, make him our pick for 2007.

Sexiest moment: Witnessing his man-angst when he thinks his buddy Sully's been killed. Men who are in touch with their feelings are way hot.


MISS 2008: Zoey



Above: Rule 34 applies as much to our beloved Zoey as it does to farm equipment and Sonic characters

Introduced in: Left 4 Dead

Left 4 Dead’s “token female character” Zoey is anything but conventional by videogame standards. Rather than go the route of vapid sex-kitten bombshell with heaving tits, Valve imbued Zoey with a much sexier asset: a personality. Saying a girl “has a great personality” is usually code for “my god is she ever fugly,” but in Zoey’s case that’s simply not true. She’s definitely a looker (Sonja Kinski was her visual inspiration), but her physical beauty is played down in a way that makes her even more desirable (if that’s even possible). And don’t underestimate the power of her voice – actress Jen Taylor also played fanboy faves Cortana and Princess Peach, so those dulcet vocal chords resonate with oodles of pent-up subconscious yearning.

But mostly, Zoey’s charm stems from the fact that you probably already know a girl like her in the real world, and probably already crush on her madly. She looks like a cheerleader, but prefers to hang with the A/V club.  She’s the cutie who talked your ear off about early Raimi after film class. Basically, Zoey is the videogame equivalent of reality porn. Can you think of anyone else you’d want by your side in the zombie apocalypse? The world ain’t gonna repopulate itself, you know.


Above: Why wasn’t math class ever this interesting? 


MISTER 2008: Teddie



Above: Bears, who are boys, who like boys to be girls, who do boys like they’re girls, who do girls like they’re bears

Introduced in: Persona 4

Introduced as a resident of the Midnight Channel, Teddie initially provides your Persona 4 party with background intelligence and support as you investigate a string of brutal murders in the town of Inaba. His first form consists of an empty bear-like suit. But while his soft, fuzzy fur is a constant source of temptation for fellow party member Kanji, his true sexiness doesn’t surface until he develops a human body within his previously hollow outfit later in the game.

Once the mask comes off his newly acquired body, Teddie takes on the form of a bishonen boy, a sexually ambiguous and curious character who loves flirting with girls as much as he enjoys “experimenting” with makeup. Like most fashionable bishonen characters in modern manga and anime, Teddie is drawn as an elegant boy with soft lines and feminine features that defy typical gender boundaries. His universal sex appeal is cemented and signified by the constant clouds of glittery sparkles that rain down over his body whenever he happily prances about.

Sexiest moment: When Teddie wins the cross-dressing beauty pageant at Yasogami High School’s talent show with his attractive Alice in Wonderland costume, he wins the hearts of all the girls, as well as the begrudging admiration of the boys in the audience.


Above: Teddie takes the crown at the cross-dressing beauty pageant

63 comments

  • elilupe - January 5, 2011 1:26 a.m.

    Two furries? I like it...
  • FauxFurry - January 4, 2011 1:54 a.m.

    Looking back at this article, I'm still surprised that noone mentioned Sly Cooper's perchant for perpetual pantlessness as being a contributing factor to his sex appeal. Way to take the high road (as in focus on the area above his snazzy belt buckle (worn for style as much as utility even if it is not utilized for the purpose of holding up lower body garments). Krystal wore a thong and a loin-cloth, at the very least(or should I say most?), rather than falling back on the whole impractical Chewbacca-esque fur merkin look. On the strictly human front, the lack of Sheva Alomar anywhere on the list is a pretty huge oversight. Can't anyone from (some vague location in what is clearly Western)Africa get any love?! 2010 looks to have a great crop of characters to round off this list and close out the previous decade in high style. You could practically pick any character at random from Final Fantasy XIII (yes,even Sazh if one has a thing for the more mature gentleman)as you could with any of the women introduced in Mass Effect 2 for new entries. You have Bayonetta, Jean, Rodin and Chesh...Luca for Sega's contribution. How about Hazama from BlazBlue:Continuum Shift to help fill your badboy quotient(he's also the who has the nigh unavoidable shirtless scene you get in anything anime related so long as attractive human males are involved)? Makoto isn't strictly new for 2010 but she ought to be close enough for the purposes of such an article (to get yet another 'man-animal hybrid' on the list,anyway). Page the firey revolutionary leader and Ben Finn the charming rogue from Fable 3 would also make fine inclusions if the customizable Prince/Princess don't qualify largely due to being the least interesting character(s) for most of the game. You'd just be begging for controversy if you pick anybody from Deathsmiles for the list, considering that all but one of the girls is in Bridget from Guilty Gears age range but lack that certain Y-Factor to lessen the creep factor any. You'd be better off with Raul the ghoul of Lily the super mutant than them! "sacred tliont"? That's not very helpful,ReCaptcha. Player defined names for Sacred characters does nothing to paint a visual image of how appealing this character 'tliont' may have been. The name isn't even particularly soothing to the eyes or ears.
  • hanktherapper - January 4, 2011 1:10 a.m.

    Cate Archer needs to make a comeback.
  • Gameover333 - January 4, 2011 12:18 a.m.

    Fang or lightning where is the love? for final fantasy 13?
  • RicePuddingUK - January 3, 2011 11:40 p.m.

    Mister 2002 should've been Tommy Vercetti, Sly Cooper seriously? Mister 2003 should've been Max Payne.....
  • Ganonpork - July 24, 2010 6:53 a.m.

    redo this with Bayonetta and Snow.
  • joy - January 19, 2010 4:02 a.m.

    Good List but what about Jade from Beyond Good & Evil Miss 2003?
  • PerezI03 - January 11, 2010 10:46 p.m.

    Zoey is the hottest gamer chick ever and i wish they brought her back into L4D 2. Rochelle is stupid. What ever happened to Sheva from RE5? She was smokin' hot also.
  • megalodon - January 9, 2010 10:25 p.m.

    Would love to see Chloe Frazer get her own spin off game real soon
  • wrapdump - January 6, 2010 1:44 p.m.

    2010: Bayonetta.
  • AssassinsCreedII - January 4, 2010 8:12 p.m.

    You are completly correct! Though, many preffer to call it "Twin Hidden Blades" IMHO I think both are right.
  • JDMDrifter - January 4, 2010 4:49 a.m.

    Ezio was the most obvious for mister 2009, and AssassinsCreedII you are mistaken GR is right it is Cristina he seduces, Claudia is Ezio's sister. Its not twin hidden blades either its double hidden blades. GR only made one mistake in the AC II article
  • JackSkellingtonsSkin - January 4, 2010 1:56 a.m.

    Naomi Campbell from MGS4, I know she was in MGS1 but in reality that was just a photo.
  • AssassinsCreedII - January 3, 2010 3:50 p.m.

    quite*
  • AssassinsCreedII - January 3, 2010 3:48 p.m.

    I just knew it would be Ezio! There is two mistakes in the ACII thread.. It's called "Twin Hidden Blades" and her name isn't Christine.. It's Claudia :-) and I wrote all this on my PS3 which by the way takes quit longer to write on..
  • iDeza - January 3, 2010 8:49 a.m.

    i gotta hand it to fran she is 1 sexy bitch
  • Romination - January 2, 2010 7:15 a.m.

    2002 was a bad year that animals had to take it. I think runners-up would have been nice
  • ClusterShart - January 2, 2010 4:41 a.m.

    Teddie is proof that crunches make you sexy.
  • Wubbles - January 1, 2010 6:46 a.m.

    I am totally beating up whoever said math wasn't interesting.
  • Frexerik - January 1, 2010 4:57 a.m.

    qft: "Saying a girl “has a great personality” is usually code for “my god is she ever fugly,”"

Showing 1-20 of 63 comments

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