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Introduced in: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Justice for All
The whip. The spiked heels. The black leather gloves. The contemptuous German accent. The soul-withering expression of utter disdain. Franziska von Karma hates you and, more than anything else in the world, wants to hurt you. As a powerful prosecutor, that means she’ll tamper with evidence, break judicial rules, eavesdrop on your investigation and even knock you unconscious in the middle of court.
Sexy for sadomasochists? Sure, but what makes von Karma so irresistible to the rest of us is the fragile vulnerability buried deep beneath her terrifyingly tough exterior. In truth, she’s only 18, and only so vicious because she’s desperate to prove her worth in the legal profession and to avenge her formerly famous, now disgraced (by you) father. Show her the harm in her ways, show her that she can trust you and, in time, you might just win her over and finally meet the real – and even more attractive – Franziska.
Or you could stick with the whip. We wouldn’t blame you.
Sexiest moment: Calling you a “foolish fool” whenever you dare to question her brilliance. She thinks it’s insulting… we think it’s adorable.
Introduced in: Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune
Nathan Drake is a fast-talking, snarky son of a bitch who steals dead people's stuff, but we just can't get enough of him. Introduced as the descendant of the famous pirate Sir Francis Drake, Nate follows the diary of his ancestor toward gold and pirates. With a charming wit and lopsided grin reminiscent of Harrison Ford, the gunfights and high-speed action sequences of Uncharted become unforgettable moments in the life of a man we'd love to know (and maybe undress for in a whole different kind of adventure).
What makes Nate Mister 2007, though, isn’t just the fact that we could stare at his ass for hours on end. Nate is a man of principle who never leaves a fellow adventurer behind, even after a plane crash on an island inhabited by mutant humans and mercenaries. He's even willing to work with his enemies toward the greater good -- the greater good being not dying at the hands of mutant cannibals. Not one to let the weird and upsetting rattle him, Nate keeps up the adventuring spirit even in the face of fiery death. This winning attitude, plus his heroic rescue of a journalist from a downed helicopter, make him our pick for 2007.
Sexiest moment: Witnessing his man-angst when he thinks his buddy Sully's been killed. Men who are in touch with their feelings are way hot.
Introduced in: Left 4 Dead
Left 4 Dead’s “token female character” Zoey is anything but conventional by videogame standards. Rather than go the route of vapid sex-kitten bombshell with heaving tits, Valve imbued Zoey with a much sexier asset: a personality. Saying a girl “has a great personality” is usually code for “my god is she ever fugly,” but in Zoey’s case that’s simply not true. She’s definitely a looker (Sonja Kinski was her visual inspiration), but her physical beauty is played down in a way that makes her even more desirable (if that’s even possible). And don’t underestimate the power of her voice – actress Jen Taylor also played fanboy faves Cortana and Princess Peach, so those dulcet vocal chords resonate with oodles of pent-up subconscious yearning.
But mostly, Zoey’s charm stems from the fact that you probably already know a girl like her in the real world, and probably already crush on her madly. She looks like a cheerleader, but prefers to hang with the A/V club. She’s the cutie who talked your ear off about early Raimi after film class. Basically, Zoey is the videogame equivalent of reality porn. Can you think of anyone else you’d want by your side in the zombie apocalypse? The world ain’t gonna repopulate itself, you know.
Above: Why wasn’t math class ever this interesting?
Introduced in: Persona 4
Introduced as a resident of the Midnight Channel, Teddie initially provides your Persona 4 party with background intelligence and support as you investigate a string of brutal murders in the town of Inaba. His first form consists of an empty bear-like suit. But while his soft, fuzzy fur is a constant source of temptation for fellow party member Kanji, his true sexiness doesn’t surface until he develops a human body within his previously hollow outfit later in the game.
Once the mask comes off his newly acquired body, Teddie takes on the form of a bishonen boy, a sexually ambiguous and curious character who loves flirting with girls as much as he enjoys “experimenting” with makeup. Like most fashionable bishonen characters in modern manga and anime, Teddie is drawn as an elegant boy with soft lines and feminine features that defy typical gender boundaries. His universal sex appeal is cemented and signified by the constant clouds of glittery sparkles that rain down over his body whenever he happily prances about.
Sexiest moment: When Teddie wins the cross-dressing beauty pageant at Yasogami High School’s talent show with his attractive Alice in Wonderland costume, he wins the hearts of all the girls, as well as the begrudging admiration of the boys in the audience.
Above: Teddie takes the crown at the cross-dressing beauty pageant