Google+

The sexiest new characters of the decade

MISS 2004: Alyx Vance



Above: Sexy, strong, and trigger happy

Introduced in: Half-Life 2

This was the only one that required almost no debate. The brainy, strong-willed daughter of super-scientist Dr. Eli Vance is Gordon Freeman’s greatest and sexiest ally. Despite the dystopian world she inhabits, Alyx is relentlessly upbeat, funny and friendly, especially toward Freeman, who unfortunately could have a hard time establishing a relationship with her given his inability to… you know, say words. We expect they’d have some communication issues.

Alyx has a certain je ne sais quoi about her that makes her immediately lovable. Perhaps it’s because she gave us the endlessly-entertaining Gravity Gun, or because she actually helped more than hindered during our trials as Gordon Freeman (unlike other, less successful videogame sidekicks). Whatever the nature of her draw, it clearly had an impact on players – Alyx is routinely cited as one of the most desirable videogame characters ever (just look at the number of YouTube tribute videos). It certainly helped that she appeared when graphics engines, like Source, had just become sophisticated enough to do the female form relative justice – no more static triangle boobs here!

Sexiest moment: Following up a headcrab zombie massacre with her trademark coy sense of humor.
Vertical Alyx image by Luis Ferreira.


MISTER 2004: The King of All Cosmos



Introduced in: Katamari Damacy

Bad boys: as movies, television and high school have taught us, girls love them. Guys want to hang out with them. Parents and teachers are powerless to control them. And no matter how much we all desperately want to hate them, none us can resist their overconfident, overbearing charm.

The King Of All Cosmos is gaming’s ultimate bad boy. Oops, did he accidentally trash the galaxy, wiping out most of the night sky in a selfish, all-night bender? Don’t expect an apology. Do expect to spend the next week cleaning up after him, desperately attempting to please him and helplessly loving every goddamn second His rainbow-bejeweled, pillow-headed, frilly-necked, butt-chinned Majesty deigns to speak to you. Oh, this star we’ve spent the past hour rolling isn’t quite big enough to replace the one you carelessly annihilated with a single wave of your daintily gloved hand? Normally, we’d protest… but for you and your gifts, King Of All Cosmos, we’ll happily reload again and again. Just tell us we did a good job… please?

Sexiest moment: Whenever he rewards us with a nonsensical song, or the brief chance to sit upon his glorious, Lycra-clad knee.

We Recommend By ZergNet

63 comments

  • elilupe - January 5, 2011 1:26 a.m.

    Two furries? I like it...
  • FauxFurry - January 4, 2011 1:54 a.m.

    Looking back at this article, I'm still surprised that noone mentioned Sly Cooper's perchant for perpetual pantlessness as being a contributing factor to his sex appeal. Way to take the high road (as in focus on the area above his snazzy belt buckle (worn for style as much as utility even if it is not utilized for the purpose of holding up lower body garments). Krystal wore a thong and a loin-cloth, at the very least(or should I say most?), rather than falling back on the whole impractical Chewbacca-esque fur merkin look. On the strictly human front, the lack of Sheva Alomar anywhere on the list is a pretty huge oversight. Can't anyone from (some vague location in what is clearly Western)Africa get any love?! 2010 looks to have a great crop of characters to round off this list and close out the previous decade in high style. You could practically pick any character at random from Final Fantasy XIII (yes,even Sazh if one has a thing for the more mature gentleman)as you could with any of the women introduced in Mass Effect 2 for new entries. You have Bayonetta, Jean, Rodin and Chesh...Luca for Sega's contribution. How about Hazama from BlazBlue:Continuum Shift to help fill your badboy quotient(he's also the who has the nigh unavoidable shirtless scene you get in anything anime related so long as attractive human males are involved)? Makoto isn't strictly new for 2010 but she ought to be close enough for the purposes of such an article (to get yet another 'man-animal hybrid' on the list,anyway). Page the firey revolutionary leader and Ben Finn the charming rogue from Fable 3 would also make fine inclusions if the customizable Prince/Princess don't qualify largely due to being the least interesting character(s) for most of the game. You'd just be begging for controversy if you pick anybody from Deathsmiles for the list, considering that all but one of the girls is in Bridget from Guilty Gears age range but lack that certain Y-Factor to lessen the creep factor any. You'd be better off with Raul the ghoul of Lily the super mutant than them! "sacred tliont"? That's not very helpful,ReCaptcha. Player defined names for Sacred characters does nothing to paint a visual image of how appealing this character 'tliont' may have been. The name isn't even particularly soothing to the eyes or ears.
  • hanktherapper - January 4, 2011 1:10 a.m.

    Cate Archer needs to make a comeback.
  • Gameover333 - January 4, 2011 12:18 a.m.

    Fang or lightning where is the love? for final fantasy 13?
  • RicePuddingUK - January 3, 2011 11:40 p.m.

    Mister 2002 should've been Tommy Vercetti, Sly Cooper seriously? Mister 2003 should've been Max Payne.....
  • Ganonpork - July 24, 2010 6:53 a.m.

    redo this with Bayonetta and Snow.
  • joy - January 19, 2010 4:02 a.m.

    Good List but what about Jade from Beyond Good & Evil Miss 2003?
  • PerezI03 - January 11, 2010 10:46 p.m.

    Zoey is the hottest gamer chick ever and i wish they brought her back into L4D 2. Rochelle is stupid. What ever happened to Sheva from RE5? She was smokin' hot also.
  • megalodon - January 9, 2010 10:25 p.m.

    Would love to see Chloe Frazer get her own spin off game real soon
  • wrapdump - January 6, 2010 1:44 p.m.

    2010: Bayonetta.
  • AssassinsCreedII - January 4, 2010 8:12 p.m.

    You are completly correct! Though, many preffer to call it "Twin Hidden Blades" IMHO I think both are right.
  • JDMDrifter - January 4, 2010 4:49 a.m.

    Ezio was the most obvious for mister 2009, and AssassinsCreedII you are mistaken GR is right it is Cristina he seduces, Claudia is Ezio's sister. Its not twin hidden blades either its double hidden blades. GR only made one mistake in the AC II article
  • JackSkellingtonsSkin - January 4, 2010 1:56 a.m.

    Naomi Campbell from MGS4, I know she was in MGS1 but in reality that was just a photo.
  • AssassinsCreedII - January 3, 2010 3:50 p.m.

    quite*
  • AssassinsCreedII - January 3, 2010 3:48 p.m.

    I just knew it would be Ezio! There is two mistakes in the ACII thread.. It's called "Twin Hidden Blades" and her name isn't Christine.. It's Claudia :-) and I wrote all this on my PS3 which by the way takes quit longer to write on..
  • iDeza - January 3, 2010 8:49 a.m.

    i gotta hand it to fran she is 1 sexy bitch
  • Romination - January 2, 2010 7:15 a.m.

    2002 was a bad year that animals had to take it. I think runners-up would have been nice
  • ClusterShart - January 2, 2010 4:41 a.m.

    Teddie is proof that crunches make you sexy.
  • Wubbles - January 1, 2010 6:46 a.m.

    I am totally beating up whoever said math wasn't interesting.
  • Frexerik - January 1, 2010 4:57 a.m.

    qft: "Saying a girl “has a great personality” is usually code for “my god is she ever fugly,”"

Showing 1-20 of 63 comments

Join the Discussion
Add a comment (HTML tags are not allowed.)
Characters remaining: 5000

OR…

Connect with Facebook

Log in using Facebook to share comments, games, status update and other activity easily with your Facebook feed.