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The return of Trailer Trash!

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Mixed Messages

 


Somehow the idea has permeated the gaming industry that the current glut of mainstream-casual Nintendo “gamers” will buy shit on a stick if you slap a big red N on it and scream FUUUUN!!! in their disgusting faces. Which of these well-groomed, overachieving go-getters are YOU?


Above: We’re the kooky blonde, with a secret thing for the Jade Raymond look-alike

Seriously, this game is meant to be played with a piece of paper and a pencil, two of the most common items in existence. Making it into DSi Ware actually makes it LESS FUN, guaranteed. If you spend 500 points on this game, a piece of your soul dies forever.


Above: Not pictured: gaping hole formerly inhabited by soul

Hearts of Iron III - France and Diplomacy gameplay

 


In 1984, the fastest supercomputer in Eastern Europe was put to the task of calculating precisely how many shades of gray it would take to destroy a man’s mind, in hopes of developing a psychological warfare campaign that would bring the decadent West crashing to its knees. Though the results came too late to be of use as Cold War propaganda, enterprising game developers have mined this data to create the upcoming spreadsheet-porn Hearts of Iron III. You can quit fapping to Excel this fall. 


Above: Who needs ass-rattling airstrikes when you have the devastating power of graphs and charts at your fingertips? 

Miami Law – trailer - DS



OK, for starters you should probably put your marquee text in front of  your background element, you know, so people can read it. From the bargain-basement techno loop to the lazy character stereotypes, this trailer bears all the hallmarks of an utterly forgettable experience.

Apr 16, 2009

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49 comments

  • Baconator96 - April 26, 2009 11:44 p.m.

    i vote for weekly TT. its made of epic and win. also, of the 3, velvet assassin seems like the clear winner ReCaptcha: $360 bestows
  • oryandymackie - April 19, 2009 8:55 a.m.

    That "Mixed Messages" game is actually meant for a piece of paper and a pencil. The DSi's fiddly system makes it worse. Man, the Nintendo casuals really are suckers!
  • PinkLenny - April 19, 2009 2:17 a.m.

    There is nothing i want more than for TT to be weekly. my fav was mixed messages with the girl who cant fully open her left eye cause of how much fun shes having
  • crossed23 - April 18, 2009 5:03 p.m.

    ITs funny that they are using girls in the majority of Nintendo promo for their casual crap. My wife has a DS and doesnt even play that crap
  • iluvmyDS - April 18, 2009 3:23 a.m.

    I hate all of these games now.
  • RaIdEn - April 17, 2009 9:08 p.m.

    "kiss my ass motherfuckers!" lmao
  • PCG_Evan - April 17, 2009 6:08 p.m.

    ...plot terrible schemes via Google maps, and desire a system for marrying the queen of Morocco to Adolf Hitler's secretary of state.
  • PCG_Evan - April 17, 2009 6:07 p.m.

    "Seriously, this game is meant to be played with a piece of paper and a pencil, two of the most common items in existence. Making it into DSi Ware actually makes it LESS FUN, guaranteed. If you spend 500 points on this game, a piece of your soul dies forever." Yes, yes, yes. And having played Hearts of Iron III, I can recommend it to those among us that plot
  • theschwartzb - April 17, 2009 1:52 p.m.

    also, more TT plz!!! ReCaptcha: Dixel regarded hmmm, almost sounds dirty
  • Monkey - April 17, 2009 12:50 p.m.

    Awesome to have TT back!!! More please! Why the hell is "Ben Stiller" constantly rocking back and forth in the NATM2 trailer. Does he have some mental issues?
  • Xeacons - April 17, 2009 1:29 a.m.

    OMG!! I almost bought that DSi game! Lack of points saved my soul!
  • batman5273 - April 17, 2009 1 a.m.

    I ACTUALLY FELL ASLEEP WATCHING THE Hearts of Iron III VIDEO!! CAPTCHA: DEMOCRAT QUIVERS
  • Cwf2008 - April 17, 2009 12:50 a.m.

    So can someone tell me how the hell Hearts of Iron III contained content inappropriate for children? Besides the fact it might bore them to death?
  • Coolbeans69 - April 17, 2009 12:40 a.m.

    Wow is mixed messages like one of nintendo's highlights like wii music was? That's really, really, really sad. Were those celebrities playing it? Cause based on the nintendo trailers that's what nintendo does now, celebrities playing games on a couch.
  • Forsakenday - April 17, 2009 12:38 a.m.

    Wow. WET? That looks insanely dumb. I feel bad for the people here at GR that need to play it and give it a rating. Although then they can bash it in a review.
  • DasavageJ - April 17, 2009 12:03 a.m.

    Oh ok so if I make like 50 names on GR and have them all comment here that I want more trailer trash then I'll get a weekly dose of Trailer Trash guaranteed right?
  • Pocotron - April 16, 2009 11:28 p.m.

    Whats the point of Iron Heart III? It looks like you can read wat happened during WWII or something...lol reCAPTCHA: furious Briggs OH NOEZ NOT THE BRIGGZ!!!!1!11!!!!
  • Gotxxrock - April 16, 2009 9:14 p.m.

    Jesus Christ. Mixed Messages could be done on fucking paper, for free. I mean... people HAV been doing it on fucking paper ever since people decided to have awkward family reunions and the like.
  • SirBonkers - April 16, 2009 8:46 p.m.

    Mixed Messages looks unbelievably LAME!! I find it almost imposable that someone could watch that and say "wow that looks like fun. I want me some of that !" I kept thinking it made more sense as a late April Fool's joke.
  • Skykid - April 16, 2009 8:37 p.m.

    OMFG! Grey's Anatomy is a game now?! It's an epidemic, get the doctor now! lol :)))

Showing 1-20 of 49 comments

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