The most sick, morally questionable Achievements and Trophies

Need for Speed: Carbon
Need for Speed: Hit 230mph in a speed trap (20G)

Well done!
You've driven at an exceedingly high-speed with a complete disregard for the safety of pedestrians, especially small children and slow-moving old people.

Overlord II
Seal Slayer: You have killed 100 baby seals (20G/Bronze Trophy)

Well done!
You've brutally massacred a considerable number of nature's most adorably sweet-faced and completely defenceless mammals. You truly are a heartless bastard of the absolute highest order.

Smasher: Break 30 windows in one day (15G)

Well done!
You are totally inept at your job and can't even complete the remedial task of delivering a newspaper without making a complete ass of things.

Wrecking Yard: Destroy 2,000 vehicles (20G/Bronze Trophy)

Well done!
Your indiscriminate destruction of automobiles has deprived thousands of the independence that their primary source of transportation affords them.

Master Thief: 50 pockets picked (10G)

Well done!
You are shameless, scheming, scum-bag filth with an aversion to honesty and are reviled by all decent, hard-working folk.

Saints Row
Negotiator: Took 50 hostages (10G)

Well done!
You've endangered the lives of many innocent bystanders, who must now enrol for an extended course of counselling to help them cope with the deep emotional and psychological distress the trauma has caused them.

Soldier of Fortune: Payback
Not Enough Milk: Perform 500 dismemberments (30G)

Well done!
You are an inhumane serial butcher that makes Jeffrey Dahmer look like Snow White.

Sonic Unleashed
Hungry Hungry Hedgehog: Eat everything in the world (30G/Silver Trophy)

Well done! You're a fat selfish bastard and now there's nothing left for the rest of us.

Soul Calibur IV
Encounter the Unknown: Fight against Yoda (10G)

Well done!
You're such a belligerent punchy twat that you've somehow managed to have a swedge with the universe's most peace-loving 900 year-old goblin.

Massive D: Cause at least $75,000,000 of damage (20G)

Well done!
You've sent the insurance premiums of hard-working tax payers through the roof and consequently forced the closure of several small, independent, family-run businesses that simply can't afford the additional overheads.

Supreme Commander
Firestorm: Fire 100 nukes (20G)

Well done!
Not only have you killed millions of people, but your actions have ushered in a catastrophic nuclear winter that has rendered the entire planet completely dead for the foreseeable future.

The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena
Basic Weapon Handling level 3: Kill 10,000 people (30G/Silver Trophy)

Well done! You're the first person in history to commit genocide single-handedly.

The Godfather
Earner: Extort 10 businesses (10G)

Well done!
You're a bully and a thug that makes a living by taking money from law-abiding folk by scaring them shitless with threats of violence and vandalism.

The Incredible Hulk
Master of Disaster: Destroy every building in a New York City neighbourhood (35G)

Well done! You've killed, injured and displaced thousands of people.

Turning Point: Fall of Liberty
Swirly Time!: Drown a German in a toilet in the Tower of London (5G)

Well done! You're a xenophobic murderer.

September 24, 2009

Videogames versus the real world
30 comparisons that prove games win

50 of the weirdest and dumbest Xbox Achievements
Boost your Gamerscore by being stupid

Real activities that never should've become games
Perform dull, laborious tasks to fill your humdrum meter


  • starhaw - October 10, 2009 9:53 p.m.

    HAHAHAHA WELL DONE! YOUR A TERRORIST XD nice, this was freakin hilarious XD Captcha: Ladybugs Donderry ??uhhh what???
  • oryandymackie - October 3, 2009 9:32 a.m.

    The Hannah Montana one was probably my favourite. "So, what, because I have a few stage outfits I'm a brainless CONSUMER?" "Oui".
  • jackemo - September 30, 2009 2:45 a.m.

    This is such a weak post. What's the point of acting like you feel so strongly about the messages they send when no doubt you've played most or all of these games and loved them? If you're so passionate about all this why aren't you complaining about the fact that these games glorify violence and crime. The creators of these games don't want you to picture the achievements in real life scenarios so get off their backs you tools.
  • thecakeisapie - September 28, 2009 11:43 p.m.

    dont forget "Menace to Society" from Fable II
  • silentmusic16 - September 28, 2009 8:25 p.m.

    im surprised that there wasnt a single dead space achievment on this. then again that woiuld be way to easy. I loved the scrotom one lol!
  • m1bayluv41510 - September 28, 2009 7:16 p.m.

    What about "goodnight sweet prince" from Far Cry 2, where you "ease the suffering of a friend" blowing his brains out! Thats still murder, no matter what kind of noble label is attempted to be applied..
  • Spybreak8 - September 27, 2009 5:55 a.m.

    Haha, that list is funny, I can just see the meetings with all the gamer staff saying oh what about this one!
  • Dalibor - September 26, 2009 8:31 p.m.

    Good list of trophies. The one that kinda baffled me recently was the trophy in RE5 where you have to throw a rotten egg at a majini, like how could an egg actually kill a majini?
  • pekpok - September 26, 2009 5:49 p.m.

    What about in the force Unleashed? Worst day Shift manager ever: Kill 5 clones as Darth Vader.
  • Matt Cundy - September 26, 2009 9:31 a.m.

    @Fable2boy This list could easily have been based purely on acts of animal cruelty, so I picked just the 'best' ones. And Overlord's kill 100 baby seals achievement trumped Fable II's rabbit shooting. Until someone actually comes up with a 'nail-bomb a kitten orphanage' achievement, I think the baby seal massacre wins the most sick.
  • Fable2boy - September 26, 2009 4:59 a.m.

    no fable 2? what about "the hunter" acheivement; kill a rabbbit lol :P surely killing a rabbit isnt socially acceptable?.....unless your in texas......:P
  • Awesomeforthemasses - September 26, 2009 2:51 a.m.

    Psychotic prankster was one of the first trophies I got in Fallout, I blew Tenpenny off his tower about ten times that way... good times.
  • XxMrHitDatHoexX - September 26, 2009 2:07 a.m.

    lol...i have 3 of those chievos... the stab the weary,i have spilld 200 gallons of blood and i have place a nade in a person while pickpocketing them
  • NanoElite666 - September 26, 2009 1:37 a.m.

    For a good suicide bomber one, replace the Darkest of Days one with the "Fragmartyr" trophy from Killzone 2. Because that one actually requires you to, you know, KILL other people whilst taking your own life with the mentioned explosive device.
  • Hobojedi - September 25, 2009 11:35 p.m.

    This made my day; make more :D
  • kiwimonster4 - September 25, 2009 9:39 p.m.

    lmfao, man that was funny GR
  • Unoriginal - September 25, 2009 10:06 a.m.

    Blowing up 10 chickens with dynamite. Overkill.
  • Patius - September 25, 2009 6:38 a.m.

    You guys should have done the achievement from Duke Nukem 3D, "Shake it baby." You know, the one where you walk up to a girl and press the "use" button to offer her cash to strip? That one?
  • Tazz57 - September 25, 2009 4 a.m.

    hahaha very funny
  • Cwf2008 - September 25, 2009 2:17 a.m.

    Wow this is easily among the funniest things i have ever read on this site. That one about blowing yourself up.."Congratulations, you are a suicide bomber!"...oh man that cracked me up

Showing 1-20 of 48 comments

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