Need for Speed: Carbon
Need for Speed: Hit 230mph in a speed trap (20G)
Well done! You've driven at an exceedingly high-speed with a complete disregard for the safety of pedestrians, especially small children and slow-moving old people.
Seal Slayer: You have killed 100 baby seals (20G/Bronze Trophy)
Well done! You've brutally massacred a considerable number of nature's most adorably sweet-faced and completely defenceless mammals. You truly are a heartless bastard of the absolute highest order.
Smasher: Break 30 windows in one day (15G)
Well done! You are totally inept at your job and can't even complete the remedial task of delivering a newspaper without making a complete ass of things.
Wrecking Yard: Destroy 2,000 vehicles (20G/Bronze Trophy)
Well done! Your indiscriminate destruction of automobiles has deprived thousands of the independence that their primary source of transportation affords them.
Master Thief: 50 pockets picked (10G)
Well done! You are shameless, scheming, scum-bag filth with an aversion to honesty and are reviled by all decent, hard-working folk.
Negotiator: Took 50 hostages (10G)
Well done! You've endangered the lives of many innocent bystanders, who must now enrol for an extended course of counselling to help them cope with the deep emotional and psychological distress the trauma has caused them.
Soldier of Fortune: Payback
Not Enough Milk: Perform 500 dismemberments (30G)
Well done! You are an inhumane serial butcher that makes Jeffrey Dahmer look like Snow White.
Hungry Hungry Hedgehog: Eat everything in the world (30G/Silver Trophy)
Well done! You're a fat selfish bastard and now there's nothing left for the rest of us.
Soul Calibur IV
Encounter the Unknown: Fight against Yoda (10G)
Well done! You're such a belligerent punchy twat that you've somehow managed to have a swedge with the universe's most peace-loving 900 year-old goblin.
Massive D: Cause at least $75,000,000 of damage (20G)
Well done! You've sent the insurance premiums of hard-working tax payers through the roof and consequently forced the closure of several small, independent, family-run businesses that simply can't afford the additional overheads.
Firestorm: Fire 100 nukes (20G)
Well done! Not only have you killed millions of people, but your actions have ushered in a catastrophic nuclear winter that has rendered the entire planet completely dead for the foreseeable future.
The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena
Basic Weapon Handling level 3: Kill 10,000 people (30G/Silver Trophy)
Well done! You're the first person in history to commit genocide single-handedly.
Earner: Extort 10 businesses (10G)
Well done! You're a bully and a thug that makes a living by taking money from law-abiding folk by scaring them shitless with threats of violence and vandalism.
The Incredible Hulk
Master of Disaster: Destroy every building in a New York City neighbourhood (35G)
Well done! You've killed, injured and displaced thousands of people.
Turning Point: Fall of Liberty
Swirly Time!: Drown a German in a toilet in the Tower of London (5G)
Well done! You're a xenophobic murderer.
September 24, 2009
Videogames versus the real world
30 comparisons that prove games win
50 of the weirdest and dumbest Xbox Achievements
Boost your Gamerscore by being stupid
Real activities that never should've become games
Perform dull, laborious tasks to fill your humdrum meter