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The most ridiculous game box quotes ever

If this game was a turning point for the genre, shouldn't, you know, anyone have heard of it or played it? Let's see what the reviewers thought:

"It has the most idiotic aiming scheme in any WWII game." - Official PlayStation Magazine

"Everything in this title borders on barely functional, from the blurry graphics (no, that isn't Vaseline on your TV screen) to the imprecise targeting." - Game Informer

"...Combat Elite could have been fantastic. But that's just wishful thinking. " - IGN

The Precursor Legacy is a great game, but to say that its world has no peer is to deny that Mario, and every other great platformer, exists.

Really? That might have been true if this game was released in 1970, but I'm pretty sure that in 2004 movie effects looked significantly better than what could be rendered in real-time on a PS2. Just sayin'.


Above: Did Peter Jackson direct this?

Also, a quick side note: I know I've probably done this too, but can writers please stop saying that games "boast" things, and especially that they "boast an array" of things? It's probably one of the most frequently occurring clichés in game writing, just behind "While this game isn't perfect, its flaws are made up for by..." and "If you're a fan of the genre..."

I would be a fool to take a shot at any Tribes game - they were outstanding. Better than Halo, even.

I haven't played one in four years.

If the game is big, and it is full of action, then there must be as much action in it as it is big (the bigger the game is, the more action it would take to fill it up). So we know that the amount of action in the game is dependent on the bigness of the game, but we don't have an objective measurement of the game's bigness, so we don't really know anything. Let's just call it "a hell of a ride" and move on.

73 comments

  • FeathersMcgraw - July 4, 2010 11:18 p.m.

    "11/10, article of the year!"
  • Ironmaus - July 3, 2010 1:16 a.m.

    Well, they certainly over sold it, but 40 Winks was pretty fun. It had that costume-switching element that runs through most Mario games since SMB3, and one of the costumes was a ninja. Totally charming.
  • EnragedTortoise1 - July 1, 2010 8:42 p.m.

    Ahahahahaha. Oh Rolling Stone, you crack me up.
  • Vitoruss1 - June 30, 2010 9:21 p.m.

    I really, really liked Alter Echo... :'(
  • mrmorozov987 - June 1, 2010 2:34 a.m.

    Now I feel like a dumbass because I have that Stuntman box, and I never noticed what was wrong with that quote. Thanks.
  • mrmorozov987 - June 1, 2010 2:28 a.m.

    I remember reading the GTA quote at Walmart and thinking "WTF"? But the ending to that... perfect. Just perfect.
  • Failureisinevitable - November 7, 2009 3:11 a.m.

    "Latest post in the article, and yet it's STILL an epic one. Just because it has a quote from me on it!" -Failure
  • CptCHARLES - November 2, 2008 9:30 p.m.

    Am I the only one who thinks that Tyler is too literal? I mean, in response to Stuntman ROCKS!, he says "I don't know what geological features have to do with video games". Honestly, either he's an idiot for not knowing that rocks is often used to mean "it's good/great" or he just couldn't find anything else wrong with that quote.
  • K9unittp - October 30, 2008 5:41 p.m.

    (uh ya sry tyler) you forgot to mention that fact that every GTA game is exactly the same. the only difference being that sometimes there is a new city or a new character or new graphics but other than that repetitive missions, repetitive combat, repetitive story, hell even the same box art (new photos though) only GTA 4 accually was interesting being that they almost completly remade the game but even that is repetitive......you know what this accually has nothing to do with the topic of this article. i think im just venting fumes.
  • Nitemarish - October 29, 2008 3:33 p.m.

    I played 40 Winks. It sucked.
  • CAPST3R - October 28, 2008 11:53 a.m.

    KISS MY ASS HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL!
  • crazyqazqaz - October 27, 2008 9:46 p.m.

    What are you guys on about? Are you taking the piss? 40 Winks obviously trashed Mario!! I mean, look who's a global gaming icon, it's..... wait ..... what?? NO WAY!! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!!
  • GodlikeApe - October 27, 2008 10:07 a.m.

    Liked the article. Impressed at an American knowing of Red Dwarf. Mighty.
  • TheWebSwinger - October 27, 2008 4:48 a.m.

    REALLY good article. Must have taken you for-fucking-EVER to write. Nitpick: Isn't Peter Travers (Rolling Stone movie reviewer) notoriously harsh on movies? Just sayin'.
  • fluentinsarcasm - October 26, 2008 9:16 p.m.

    You forgot the game Ikaruga... "Our frothing demand for this game INCREASES." -IGN.com Big bold letters, right on the front cover.
  • kamikaz3e124 - October 26, 2008 5:18 p.m.

    I still can't believe Nintendo Magizine chose a less popular game such as 40 Winks over their own mascot.
  • Poke_trainer - October 26, 2008 3:45 p.m.

    actually, I thought jak and daxter was really good back then and had lots of fun playing it. The quote was unnecessary though.
  • Cwf2008 - October 25, 2008 8:32 p.m.

    Rofl that was freaken hilarious. Especially the GTA one
  • J-spit - October 25, 2008 7:56 p.m.

    Funny stuff.
  • smallberry - October 25, 2008 7:32 p.m.

    Oh man a Red Dwarf movie...a justified Rolling Stone review. Great article. More.

Showing 1-20 of 73 comments

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