casual game – Colorful shapes, pets, and cooking.
ch-ch-ch-ch-changes – A tiresome David Bowie line which is ridiculously overused by games journalists, especially when referring to personnel changes at major publishers or updates to console software. Also, a generic term used to describe any cliché.
cinematic – The part of the game they put on the back of the box. What developers think it means, we have no idea, but they seem to use it in reference to scripted, on-rails gameplay, tiresome cutscenes, a mediocre story and subpar voice acting.
cineractive – A playable cutscene that developers use when abiding by the “show don’t play” rule. As seen in God of War 2 and Spiderman 3.
console war – The struggle for market dominance by each of the three major console manufacturers as well as an ongoing argument regarding the merits of each console. The argument is largely fueled by meaningless analyst predictions, industry rumors, a lack of social skills, and Red Bull. Whoever wins, we all lose.
control group – When you’re too lazy to select RTS units with your mouse.
craplet (see shovelware)
DDR – Modern arcades, and something for Asian kids do while their physically awkward white friends are busy bowling.
direct feed – Gameplay footage recorded directly from a console’s output.
DirectX – A set of Windows APIs (Application Program Interfaces). Would you like to update DirectX now?
DLC – Downloadable content. Allows developers to finish a game four months after it has been released.
Dolphin – The early working name of the Gamecube. Nintendo decided to name it via free association exercises instead.
Dreamcast – Outdated upon release.
DRM – Digital Rights Management, a method of copy protection which hassles paying customers and holds up pirates by .000005 milliseconds.
E3 – Hell.
environment mapping – Makes metal look metalier.
epic fail (see image below)
ESA – The Entertainment Software Association, the association which runs E3.
ESRB – the Entertainment Software Ratings Board, also known as Mortal Kombat’s bastard child.