The Future History Of Doctor Who

What will happen to the show in the future? We haven’t got a TARDIS, so we used a more ancient method of prediction – guesswork

For the latest SFX bookazine, Doctor Who: The Fanzine , Dave Golder travelled through time to discover the future of Doctor Who . However, in true Who fashion, simply by stepping into the future he seems to have altered it. This is what it now looks like…

2014

The TARDIS occupies the fourth plinth in Trafalgar Square for a while, and Russell T Davies appears on chat shows promoting his new book, How Doctor Who Saved The BBC .

2015

Rose Tyler: Defender Of The F**king Earth launches in the US on AMC, starring Billie Piper, executive produced by Russell T Davies. “I didn’t want to do it,” he says, “but then they said they’d finance my hard hitting-remake of It Ain’t Half Hot Mum , which blends Glee with Platoon … ”

2016

A 90-minute Torchwood special finally kills off Captain Jack. His last words to Rex are, “I always thought you looked a bit more like Bo, anyway… you big headed Yank, you. Give us a kiss.”

2017

The new series is entirely made in 3D. The first regular CG companion, a shapeshifting cyborg rabbit called Ginger, is introduced. Doctor 12 regenerates. Doctor 13 is played by 16-year-old Joe Pluggins, chosen by viewers via the talent show, Who Do You Think ? Pluggins vows to play the Doctor as a “kick-ass warrior mage from World Of Warcraft .” The new showrunner is imported from Doctors , which finally expires on daytime BBC. The Head of Drama figures it’ll save on printing him new business cards if they just cross out the “s” and write in the “Who”.

2022

The BBC commissions an iPlayer exclusive Who series, and also franchises the property out around the world. Suddenly, 178 different versions of Doctor Who are being made worldwide.

In the UK, Edinburgh Fringe Perrier Award-winning comedian Steve Stokes is the new Doctor, with a robot companion and portaloo-shaped TARDIS. Oddly, UK viewers prefer to download the new US version, which stars Summer Glau as an ass-kicking female Doctor with a guy who spends most of the time with his shirt off as a companion. Even more oddly, Norwegians love the UK version.

2025

Doctor Who (US version – now starring Justin Bieber, undergoing a massive career renaissance) is the first show in the world to be made for Total Immersion TV, a primitive form of Virtual Reality, with a limited interactive element. Soon the BBC and eight other Who franchises are following suit. The set-up involves sitting inside a specially constructed pod. It’s not long before all these booths are generally called TARDISes, whatever you are using them to watch.

2028

Leaps in CG technology, and a subsequent lowering of production costs, means that the Doctor Who Restoration Team finally creates totally authentic-looking recreations of all the lost episodes from the ’60s. The BBC is so impressed with the results – especially the CG versions of no-longer living Doctors – they commission a special Total Immersion episode featuring William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee and Tom Baker to star alongside current Doctor, ex-porn star Cassie Loengard. Peter Davison refuses to allow his likeness to be used while he’s still alive (“It’d be like I’d be doing myself out of a job, ” he tells the Guardian ).

2031

Cardiff becomes a Doctor Who theme park. Three grandmothers and an elderly guardian die when forced to accompany their children… all of whom declare it, “Way cool!”

2039

The BBC-produced Who episode “The Flatulence Of The Ice Warriors” becomes the first ever Doctor Who to be filmed on the Moon, as part of a deal with the newly-formed Virgin Lunar Tours to promote holidays on Earth’s only natural satellite. Most viewers just figure it’s been faked as it doesn’t look as good as the game “Moon Killer Elite” on Total Immersion-Station 360.

2056

Following World War 3.01, the new Indo-Asian power block bans all science fiction as Western propaganda. Doctor Who survives by word of mouth and illegal downloads only.

The underground digi-fanzine culture goes into overdrive. The Doctor becomes a cult figure; a Robin Hood for late 21 st century; an icon for individuality and freedom.

Unfortunately, Dave Golder had to travel into this new future as research for this revised article, so this timeline has also been re-written, and replaced with something even more improbable.

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