Google+

The fappiest fitness games

Jumpstart: Get Moving feat. Brooke Burke


Above: Not a bad translation, really, but drop her into the game world and… 


Above: Next she’ll be making out with Sonic

The mostly realistic Brooke Burke character model looks completely out of place next to the ridiculous novelty cows and rejected Mii prototypes. It’s nowhere near as sexy as you want it to be, but it still beats the hell out of Wii Fit (even though Brooke clashes so severely with the rest of the game world.)

Score:


My Fitness Coach

My Fitness Coach uses a generic computer generated non-celebrity for an instructor, so if you’re looking for the girl-next-door type then this is your game. She’s unpretentious and attractive in an attainable way, but you may get bored with her after a while and go looking for something more glamorous (scroll down for more glamorous.) Here’s a peek at what My Fitness Coach has in store for you:

Score:


Jillian Michaels Fitness Ultimatum 2010


Above: Jillian WILL give you an angry pirate if you don’t shape your flabby ass up 

If you’re into being verbally assaulted while you while you try to nut (hey, no judgment here,) Jillian Michaels is the perfect fitness bitch for you. She’ll make you work for it, while reminding you just how pathetic you are. Jillian’s agro coaching style will hit you like a hot injection of bull shark testosterone. If that doesn’t perk you right up, listen to Jillian deliver an aggressive ass-chewing as she tears you down just to build you back up:

 

Score:


Daisy Fuentes Pilates


Above: A semblance of resemblance 

Stodgy old Pilates is suddenly bursting with sensuality, thanks to former MTV veejay-jay Daisy Fuentes. Digital Daisy is easily the most fap-ready of all the fitness coaches we sampled – the game’s producers simply aren’t afraid to let her be sexy. We only wish her assets bounced a little more naturally, but even sans jiggle, Daisy is the reigning queen of videogame fitness coaches. If your mom can only afford one fitness game, tell her to get this one because you saw this thing on the Today Show that said it was good. Don’t believe us? Check out this smirkingly hot (but still comfortably E-rated) gameplay - your boner will thank you.

Score:

Aug. 5, 2010

Sex advice from games
Candid counsel on intercourse from the planet's most mature medium

 


Gaming’s most devastating genital attacks
The most memorable groin injuries in gaming history, from funny to bloody

 


Videogame characters that should never be in porn again
The goggles will do nothing

Topics

Sexy sexy WTF

25 comments

  • Smeggs - August 10, 2010 7:21 a.m.

    Technically these games will be doing their job, after awhile your arms will be RIPPED!
  • WoodyWoodrowAndThePanfluteOfDestiny - August 6, 2010 8:40 p.m.

    Classy as always GamsRadder Recaptcha: is Chlamydia Wait what?!
  • Clovin64 - August 6, 2010 2:16 p.m.

    The woman on the second entry horrified me. Anorexia is not sexy.
  • philipshaw - August 6, 2010 10:55 a.m.

    I'm sure Chris did most of the work for this
  • DrPepperGetsAllTheDLC - August 6, 2010 6:07 a.m.

    Hahaha I couldn't stop laughing at the title
  • VaneTrago - August 6, 2010 4:32 a.m.

    Jenny M. should have received an emmy for her trailer... Up until around :50 where she just... stinks up everything. But she was mesmerizing up until then, and I don't even like blow-up dolls.
  • Fro4show - August 6, 2010 2:51 a.m.

    Its better if you gotta sexy girlfriend to play the game for you. One that understands what your after... "No Jillian I want you to make me beg for mercy and then go HARDER!!!"
  • HawtKakez - August 6, 2010 2:19 a.m.

    I feel almost ashamed that none of this is appealing to me whatsoever. The cause of this is most likely my ease of access to adult material or maybe it's because I've never viewed females exercising as something that's exciting. Fun article to read though.
  • screwball08247 - August 6, 2010 1:41 a.m.

    I just love how it says in the first paragraph, "...Our boner".
  • TalkradarLikesAreApe - August 6, 2010 12:38 a.m.

    ummm... "hot injection of bull shark testosterone" well apparently I'm not the only one watching shark week
  • taterboob - August 6, 2010 12:26 a.m.

    Daisy Fuentes made America's Funniest Home Videos worth fapping to. Bob Saget, only slightly less.
  • mastersword369 - August 6, 2010 12:20 a.m.

    Aww C'mon!! NO-one else liked that hot balance board from Wii Fit?!!
  • pollenski - August 5, 2010 10:43 p.m.

    Was it just my warped mind that added various extra lines (ranging from abuse to just plain wrong) into the store role-play scenario? You: I dunno... Probably... Abusive: ...to you ya geeky twat, but with that acne she wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole Dishonest: ...was before that acid accident Honest: ...was before I put acid in her eyeliner Kinda wrong: ...I never really thought about her that way before...hmmm Completely wrong: ...not in most people's eyes but she gives great head If said by a hottie, then giggidy-giggidy: ...we're twins and both forgot to wear underwear today, say is your name Mario? Clerk: Cool (snort). Yeah, we have it. It’s right over there.
  • Tomsta666 - August 5, 2010 10:26 p.m.

    I just fapped to the power pad video
  • Ravenbom - August 5, 2010 9:46 p.m.

    This article smells like pizza... Also, if it was Gamesradar US where's B Buttercup's entry?
  • juicenpancakes - August 5, 2010 9:30 p.m.

    Haha, I love how the tags are: Sexy sexy and WTF. They're pretty much my thoughts and feelings as I read this feature. @510BrotherPanda: I really want to post a picture of my reCAPTCHA, I swear it is Ancient lettering.
  • GamesRadarJoeMcNeilly - August 5, 2010 9:04 p.m.

    GamesRadar US or GamesRadar Staff is used when multiple people contribute to an article, or at the author's discretion
  • 510BrotherPanda - August 5, 2010 9:01 p.m.

    If Dance Aerobics came out before the late 80's, I got a boner before I was even born. Fake Twister in a leotard and headband? Yes. VERY yes. I just got a reCAPTCHA that was half in Chinese characters. HOW DO I TYPE THIS???
  • Cyberninja - August 5, 2010 8:54 p.m.

    we do they put gr us for stuff like this anyway
  • gamingfreak - August 5, 2010 8:42 p.m.

    This is undoubtedly Antista's work.

Showing 1-20 of 25 comments

Join the Discussion
Add a comment (HTML tags are not allowed.)
Characters remaining: 5000

OR…

Connect with Facebook

Log in using Facebook to share comments, games, status update and other activity easily with your Facebook feed.