The easiest Achievements and Trophies of 2009

Jurassic: The Hunted

Easy Achievement total: 875 points

Time necessary: Six hours

This title is the gaming equivalent of a B-movie if ever there was one. An FPS released within a week of Modern Warfare 2, it stars one of the stupidest mercenaries alive, whose team crashes in the Bermuda Triangle while looking for a scientist who’s been lost for decades. The twist is that the island they land on is infested with dinosaurs, as they seem to have gone back in time. Perhaps never hearing of the Butterfly Effect, the star kills literally hundreds of soon-to-be fossils using the many conveniently located weapons just lying around the island. Filled with plot holes and terrible dialogue, this upscaled Wii game isn't worth the $40 it retails for.

Above: More like JurASSic, right? Right?

On the plus side, it may be bad, but it comes in such small portions. It takes about four hours to reach the game's ludicrous ending, and perhaps another three to beat it on hard. Thanks to the many unimaginative "kill x amount of y"-based Achievements, you'll be at least 800 points richer in one lazy Sunday of play. Plus it’s at least meant for grown-ups, which is more than we can say for the next entries.

Hannah Montana: The Movie

Easy Achievement total: 1000 points

Time necessary: Four hours

It was a bittersweet moment, to be sure, when the Hannah Montana film came out. Sure, we got to see the teen diva hit the big screen and sing her chart-topping hits, but it was also basically the end of Hannah, as Miley Cyrus in real life has left her other identity behind. :-((( Thankfully, we can spend one more go-round with her in the game based on the film, with Hannah's final gift to us: incredibly easy Achievements/Trophies.

Above: We spared you the game's hideous graphics

Seriously though, this is as low as you can go for these rewards, at least for multi-platform games. Most Achievement lovers won't approach this, as the points are traded for dignity, because the game will be forever attached to your profile. If you can deal with that, then get ready for a short but horrible trip through Hannah's life, hitting the insanely easy goals for dancing, carnival games and fashion in under five hours.

Backyard Football ‘10

Easy Achievement total: 1000 points

Time necessary: 20 minutes

One of the very few non-EA-published NFL games in the last decade, this game is for children. There’s no way around this fact. When you play this release, you are basically saying to the world, “I am a child, treat me as such.” There is no reason for anyone over the age of six to play this game, barring the most obvious reason of all…

Above: Make kids tackle each other for big points!

Though PS3 owners are out of luck when it comes to this game, 360 Achievement whores are lucky(?) to have it, as it’s probably the fastest 1,000 points this side of Avatar: The Burning Earth. In less than twenty minutes and without even finishing a whole game, you will get every Achievement with astoundingly little effort. The only hard part is looking yourself in the mirror afterwards.

After playing these for the score, your self-respect should be at an all-time low. And once your friends see that Hannah Montana on your profile, say goodbye to their respect for you as well. So for those looking at a shot at redemption, earn some gamer cred back with these respectable 2009 releases that just happen to have relatively easy points/Trophies.

WWE SmackDown vs Raw 2010

Easy Achievement total: 950 points

Time necessary: 16 Hours

Above: One of the many awards for trying a new feature

For wrestling fans, it doesn’t get better than this, THQ’s best SmackDown ever. And for the dedicated player, the points/Trophies come fast. Not only can you get about 100 points just for barely touching this year’s new features, but the rest mostly come from finishing storylines and beating career modes. Only the virtually undoable training-checklist-related goal is a pain, but we’re cool with skipping it if you are.

X-Men: Origins Wolverine

Easy Achievement total: 850 points

Time necessary: Ten hours

Above: An in-joke Achievement for finding the hatch from Lost

Heated debates still rage in the GR offices over the Wolverine film’s quality (the truth: most agree it’s unwatchable, while others feel it sucked less than they thought it would), but this insanely violent movie tie-in was at least eight times better. Achievements and Trophies are pretty easy here too, as during a normal playthrough you’ll get many of the kill-count-related ones to go along with the story rewards. Plus, it has what should be a must for all games: a tracker in the pause menu showing your progress toward each goal.

Assassin’s Creed II

Easy Achievement total: 925 points

Time necessary: 15 hours

Above: You get the above Achievement for being a baby for 20 seconds

One of the best games of 2009, Assassin’s Creed 2 took all the great ideas of the original, smoothed them out and improved on them exponentially. Again, more than two-thirds of the awards can be earned by the game's end with minimal effort by most average players, and very few involve collecting doo-dads. Our only complaint is that this game has zero secret Achievements/Trophies, which is annoying when casually checking the descriptions and finding big spoilers therein. What the hell, Ubisoft?

Jan 20, 2010

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  • aaronbuhagiar - November 26, 2010 4:54 a.m.

    don't forget assassins creed 2 fly swatter
  • chriscp97wii - February 5, 2010 3:23 a.m.

    Assassins Creed 2 achievement was the easiest one for me, I laughed with my friends when I got it.
  • MetallicaDan - February 2, 2010 9:31 p.m.

    "What no Kung Fu Panda?" Kung Fu Panda didn't come out in 2009.
  • CommanderSheperd - January 25, 2010 5:45 p.m.

    I agree with Cwf2008, SHOW US YOUR GAMERTAG!!!!!!
  • suicidalstickman - January 22, 2010 10:29 p.m.

    What no Kung Fu Panda?
  • wiitard07 - January 22, 2010 4:33 a.m.

    for everyone saying that achievement whores like myself throw away 50 bucks for gamer score we throw away about 3 bucks by RENTING it.
  • garp94 - January 22, 2010 4:17 a.m.

    I'm surprised SAW didn't make it. I had all the trophies for it in three days of sot-so-intense gaming. ->SPOILER ALERT<- I mean at the end of the game, you have to choose to go through a truth door or a freedom door. All you have to do is go through one (Bing!: Gold Trophy), finish the rest of the game, then reload the last save point and go through the other door (Bing!: 2 gold trophies in 2 minutes!)And you get the rest for basically just playing the game once. That's an easy platinum if you're looking for it (But I doubt you'll have as much fun as you would playing Hannah Montana).
  • Cyberninja - January 22, 2010 12:51 a.m.

    am i the only one on this site that doesnt care about any score what so ever i play games to have fun not to be better than anyone.
  • gatornation1254 - January 22, 2010 12:23 a.m.

    @JustTheBoBreaker I thought I was great at that game too I guess I deserve an: EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!
  • jackthemenace - January 21, 2010 8:26 p.m.

    i love AC2, and i had almost 200G within about two hours of playing it :d that said, i'm rolling on to probably about 15 hours and i'm still only on about chapter 8 ¬_¬
  • noobeater - January 21, 2010 8:22 p.m.

    saw is easy. and i got what 940 g in AC2 i havent ever boguth a game for acheivements only but i am a whore, so close to 20k one of the easiest and funnest ever is probably oblivion, 1250g and whilst its a long gamethe achievements themselves take maybe 20hrs only despite being non 09 and so irrelevent to the article. and i wont be playing any of these cept AC2 anyway. just browsing
  • OnyxOblivion - January 21, 2010 8:14 p.m.

    I freaking loved Gunstar Heroes. I bought that game on day one just from the memories. The Lost Vikings, next! With online coop!
  • DirkSteele1 - January 21, 2010 7:14 p.m.

    Easy 200G or not, Gun Star Heroes is worth every penny. My all time favourite game from the Megadrive (and at the time a showcase for all it was capable of). If I did not still own it for my Megadrive which I still play on when I yearn for a little bit of the golden age of games then I would be spending some Microsoft points.
  • sterlins16 - January 21, 2010 6:58 p.m.

    ac2 is really but the hide bodies in the hay stack isnt workin i put at least 20 ppl in a haystack
  • GR_HenryGilbert - January 21, 2010 6:41 p.m.

    @daninthemix That is a good one, but I think Eat Lead had the most funny Achievement/Trophy titles on this list.
  • daninthemix - January 21, 2010 5:33 p.m.

    Eh, you failed to mention that Jurassic The Hunted has the best achievement ever - 'What A Prick' for killing a spinosaurus (and he really was a prick as well).
  • Theonik - January 21, 2010 2:29 p.m.

    Collumns is a piece of cake. I got 650K on easy. MBM though is a different matter, last trophy i need for that game.
  • Rojoco - January 21, 2010 1:58 p.m.

    Ok what the heck, I'll just buy Noby Noby Boy. :D
  • crumbdunky - January 21, 2010 1:29 p.m.

    Meh. I lost interest in my MS gamerscore after the second time my 360 died and they aid my account had lapsed(WTF? they said it couldn't be accessed because the email it was linked to dies with my thenISP! Anyone know if you can do anything about that?)though, I must say, I prefer the trophy set up on PS3(though it's a blatant rip off at heart)as your gamerscore tells people much less about you nd your skill but seeing a lot of platinums shows people that, even if you haven't played many games, you must have some skill while your GS can be purely because(in my mates case-30 odd thou)all your family play their games on your account meaning just TONS of games. Means, also, that a trphy whore can get respectable even if thy weren't there t the start of the gen! If you want a good GS and only got a 360 last week good luck catching up!Whatever, thisn year I've got zero chanvce of adding many plats to my collection as there's too many games coming to max many out properly.#LOADS of useless bronzes though-and I have to say that noone I know(and i'm mates with so,me SERIOUSLY good players)has ever got the Warhawk platinum trophy! recaptcha-after tiffs. what you saying GR?
  • rxb - January 21, 2010 12:42 p.m.

    I gave up Whoring when after I beat my friends score. It was a dirty way of life. Personal low point -- Fusion frenzy 2

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