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The easiest Achievements and Trophies of 2009

Noby Noby Boy

Easy Trophy total: All 12 trophies

Time necessary: Four hours

This $5 oddity from the creator of Katamari is a great, creative PSN exclusive based around the very odd idea of stretching a caterpillarish thing as much as possible. It’s full of the endearingly weird stuff the game’s creator is known for, and while it perhaps wasn’t the best game last year, it’s without a doubt one of the most original.


Above: Just eat the title in the manual for a very easy gold Trophy

Thanks to the game’s wacky style and lack of clear goals, it’s got some of the easiest trophies around. Most involve just stretching Boy a certain amount or eating a set number of people. And the gold Trophy requires you to eat the title in the in-game manual. Since it’s a PSN game, there’s no platinum, but that’s certainly one of the simplest golds we’ve seen.


Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard

Easy Achievement total: 925 points

Time necessary: Eight hours

Having the dubious honor of our Anti-Award for worst game with best story, Eat Lead wasn’t an atrocious game, even if at least one boss battle is so bad it could count as a war crime. But this lackluster third-person shooter had such a great premise, and so much genuine humor going on, that it made us pretty sad that few could bring themselves to suffer through the gameplay for the laughs.


Above: You can earn your first hundred in less than five minutes

So maybe it will encourage you to give this game a try if you know it’s filled with very gettable Achievements/Trophies. In our first standard play-through on 360, we got nearly 800 points in the eight hours it took to beat the campaign, and another 100 shortly after that. Not only do you get tons of points for unmissable campaign moments, but many rewards are jokes: starting the game, trying to play nonexistent multiplayer or pressing pause, with some witty descriptions for good measure. It almost makes the game fun to play… almost.


Terminator: Salvation

Easy Achievement total: 1000 points

Time necessary: Eight hours

Remember that hilarious viral sound-bite of Christian Bale yelling at some guy? It was probably the funniest thing to happen all year. Well, few may know this, but during that tirade, they were filming an underwhelming movie called Terminator: Salvation. And as companies are fond of doing, a tie-in game was made for this little-seen release, and boy did it suck. Christian Bale's likeness was not included, it had THREE enemy-types outside of its horrible driving sections, and it was just an ugly, boring Gears of War rip-off.


Above: Yup, they couldn't get the rights to Christian Bale

But here's an end-of-the-year countdown where this lackluster game can shine. That’s because it had some of the most straightforward goals of 2009. The game was so bereft of imagination that all its Achievements/Trophies are campaign related. Just finish the game on normal and you’ll have gained 820 points or all but one gold Trophy in the game with just a few hours’ work. Now the final award involves beating the game on hard, and we didn’t feel it was worth it, as the game can get insanely cheap on that setting. But if you must have all 1,000 or the platinum Trophy, then have at it, you nut.


Band Hero

Easy Achievement total: 900 points

Time necessary: Seven hours

Boy, last year publishers created a giant carbon footprint, thanks to the ungodly amount of plastic crap that was clogging store shelves. Contributing to the detritus was Band Hero, made as a more casual and kid-friendly alternative for those afraid of some T-rated Guitar Hero rocking. It’s not a bad idea – no worse than most Guitar Hero spin-offs, anyway – and we accept it wasn’t really made for us. But that doesn’t mean we can’t mine it for points!


Above: One step closer to the 490 point behemoth

As any Achievement/Trophy enthusiast/whore will tell you, kiddie games are a goldmine. The bar is set very low, because the intended audience is supposedly not that good at games. That’s the case with Band Hero, as most are pretty easy, and it has one of the biggest single Achievements of the year, valued at 490 points. How do you get it? Just find all the secret notes in the game, which is pretty simple with a guide. But the real cheaters out there can play mic-only on Beginner difficulty, and put the mic next to a fan or something else that makes constant noise for every song. You can’t fail and will five-star every song (but keep the means of your victory to yourself, for your pride’s sake).

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40 comments

  • aaronbuhagiar - November 26, 2010 4:54 a.m.

    don't forget assassins creed 2 fly swatter
  • chriscp97wii - February 5, 2010 3:23 a.m.

    Assassins Creed 2 achievement was the easiest one for me, I laughed with my friends when I got it.
  • MetallicaDan - February 2, 2010 9:31 p.m.

    "What no Kung Fu Panda?" Kung Fu Panda didn't come out in 2009.
  • CommanderSheperd - January 25, 2010 5:45 p.m.

    I agree with Cwf2008, SHOW US YOUR GAMERTAG!!!!!!
  • suicidalstickman - January 22, 2010 10:29 p.m.

    What no Kung Fu Panda?
  • wiitard07 - January 22, 2010 4:33 a.m.

    for everyone saying that achievement whores like myself throw away 50 bucks for gamer score we throw away about 3 bucks by RENTING it.
  • garp94 - January 22, 2010 4:17 a.m.

    I'm surprised SAW didn't make it. I had all the trophies for it in three days of sot-so-intense gaming. ->SPOILER ALERT<- I mean at the end of the game, you have to choose to go through a truth door or a freedom door. All you have to do is go through one (Bing!: Gold Trophy), finish the rest of the game, then reload the last save point and go through the other door (Bing!: 2 gold trophies in 2 minutes!)And you get the rest for basically just playing the game once. That's an easy platinum if you're looking for it (But I doubt you'll have as much fun as you would playing Hannah Montana).
  • Cyberninja - January 22, 2010 12:51 a.m.

    am i the only one on this site that doesnt care about any score what so ever i play games to have fun not to be better than anyone.
  • gatornation1254 - January 22, 2010 12:23 a.m.

    @JustTheBoBreaker I thought I was great at that game too I guess I deserve an: EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!
  • jackthemenace - January 21, 2010 8:26 p.m.

    i love AC2, and i had almost 200G within about two hours of playing it :d that said, i'm rolling on to probably about 15 hours and i'm still only on about chapter 8 ¬_¬
  • noobeater - January 21, 2010 8:22 p.m.

    saw is easy. and i got what 940 g in AC2 i havent ever boguth a game for acheivements only but i am a whore, so close to 20k one of the easiest and funnest ever is probably oblivion, 1250g and whilst its a long gamethe achievements themselves take maybe 20hrs only despite being non 09 and so irrelevent to the article. and i wont be playing any of these cept AC2 anyway. just browsing
  • OnyxOblivion - January 21, 2010 8:14 p.m.

    I freaking loved Gunstar Heroes. I bought that game on day one just from the memories. The Lost Vikings, next! With online coop!
  • DirkSteele1 - January 21, 2010 7:14 p.m.

    Easy 200G or not, Gun Star Heroes is worth every penny. My all time favourite game from the Megadrive (and at the time a showcase for all it was capable of). If I did not still own it for my Megadrive which I still play on when I yearn for a little bit of the golden age of games then I would be spending some Microsoft points.
  • sterlins16 - January 21, 2010 6:58 p.m.

    ac2 is really but the hide bodies in the hay stack isnt workin i put at least 20 ppl in a haystack
  • GR_HenryGilbert - January 21, 2010 6:41 p.m.

    @daninthemix That is a good one, but I think Eat Lead had the most funny Achievement/Trophy titles on this list.
  • daninthemix - January 21, 2010 5:33 p.m.

    Eh, you failed to mention that Jurassic The Hunted has the best achievement ever - 'What A Prick' for killing a spinosaurus (and he really was a prick as well).
  • Theonik - January 21, 2010 2:29 p.m.

    Collumns is a piece of cake. I got 650K on easy. MBM though is a different matter, last trophy i need for that game.
  • Rojoco - January 21, 2010 1:58 p.m.

    Ok what the heck, I'll just buy Noby Noby Boy. :D
  • crumbdunky - January 21, 2010 1:29 p.m.

    Meh. I lost interest in my MS gamerscore after the second time my 360 died and they aid my account had lapsed(WTF? they said it couldn't be accessed because the email it was linked to dies with my thenISP! Anyone know if you can do anything about that?)though, I must say, I prefer the trophy set up on PS3(though it's a blatant rip off at heart)as your gamerscore tells people much less about you nd your skill but seeing a lot of platinums shows people that, even if you haven't played many games, you must have some skill while your GS can be purely because(in my mates case-30 odd thou)all your family play their games on your account meaning just TONS of games. Means, also, that a trphy whore can get respectable even if thy weren't there t the start of the gen! If you want a good GS and only got a 360 last week good luck catching up!Whatever, thisn year I've got zero chanvce of adding many plats to my collection as there's too many games coming to max many out properly.#LOADS of useless bronzes though-and I have to say that noone I know(and i'm mates with so,me SERIOUSLY good players)has ever got the Warhawk platinum trophy! recaptcha-after tiffs. what you saying GR?
  • rxb - January 21, 2010 12:42 p.m.

    I gave up Whoring when after I beat my friends score. It was a dirty way of life. Personal low point -- Fusion frenzy 2

Showing 1-20 of 40 comments

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