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The cheesiest videogame songs EVER

Standout lyric: “Fugitizin’ capturizin’”

Everyone has a unique opinion on the “War on Terror.” One thing we can all agree on, however, is that Fugitive Hunter is one of the highest prices gamers have had to pay because of this war with no conceivable beginning or end. As long as fear mongering and mindless flag waving exist, there’ll always be someone ready to make a game about kneeing Osama Bin Laden in the nuts.

Oh and there’s this shitty song that pronounces the game “Fuuugitive Hunnnnaaaaa”

Freestylin’:  Black Ops Entertainment was so enamored with its creation that it included several “Bonus!” videos on the disc. Two of them are freestyle rapper Mr. Re going to town with the game’s music. Here’s one. But only one.

Head to the last page for cheesy lyrics to “Fugitive Hunter.”





Standout lyric: “DAYAAAAAAAAAAM!”

We sure would have liked to hear more Schwarzenegger-esque quips from Augustus Cole, aka “The Cole Train.” Well, that’s what we were thinking until he let loose with an entire ‘90s-style rap comprised of nothing but said quips. As funny as “this my kinda shit!” is the first time, hearing it 10 consecutive times is far too much.

Still fun though, surprisingly catchy compared to stuff on this list.

Wrap it up: Totally unrelated to Gears but somewhat on topic, the DK Rap from Donkey Kong 64 is much worse but so common on list articles we chose to omit it. But what the hell, here it is anyway. Come on Cranky, take it to the fridge!

Head to the last page for cheesy lyrics to “The Cole Train.”





Standout quote: “There would not be an enemy he could not put down with a gun.”

Probably never heard of this PSone-era gem, have you? Don’t worry, most of us missed it the first time around too. Thankfully one of our editors with a game library two titles shy of a “shit ton” recalled this ultra-obscure, hyper-cheesy opera about a Western man in an Eastern world.

And that man that nobody knew grew up to be... Rising Zan, subject of perhaps the most enthusiastic song about a game five people played.

Incredibly unknown: Need a game that pays homage to America’s Funniest Home Videos, both visually and aurally? Check out Incredible Crisis’ bouncy tune that, despite having few lyrics, manages to out-cheese many of the other songs on this list. It’s just too damn happy!

Head to the last page for cheesy lyrics to “Rising Zan.”





Standout lyric: “Love can come through an open door.”

Hey kids, remember NiGHTS? It’s one of the few franchises that’s been allowed to ungracefully die twice! Maybe they should’ve left out the cheddary intro tune that reminds us of a B-side Backstreet Boys song off the first album that was okay but not nearly as good as Millennium.

Uh, if we ever listened to Backstreet Boys.

Slippery slope: Aw heck, as cheesy as NiGHTS is, we can’t help but love the guy/gal anyway. It’s a fun shame song. Same goes for any song from Sonic CD. Here’s the ending video and accompanying tune from the GameCube version. So many memories...

 

Head to the last page for cheesy lyrics to “Dreams Dreams.”





Standout lyric: bljbsdgljdgdgkjbdg

Awful. Just awful.

Take you for a ride: To aid your recovery from the incesto-porn that surely follows the brother/sister conversation in the above video, sooth your ears with this gratingly catchy tune from Marvel vs. Capcom 2:

And don’t forget about the next page with all its cheesy lyrics...

Sep 23, 2008



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69 comments

  • Mexicutioner - October 7, 2010 7:23 a.m.

    Christ! Has it really been over 2 years since this was first posted?! Oh man, T-Dar 20 is still one of the best!
  • FanofSaiyan - December 7, 2009 3:15 a.m.

    Ironically, I own the SNES Clayfighter. I liked the song, and it was the only game my mom would play with me. Just to make this clear, I was 5 when I played this game.
  • jmcgrotty - December 1, 2009 5:56 a.m.

    Any game you can't play muted should automatically start out at a maximum high score of 50% of the available score (so, a game you can't play muted can't get higher than a 5/10).
  • Spritle101 - November 23, 2009 7:04 a.m.

    Clayfighter, clay-clayfighter, oooow...wooowwooooooooow oh ooooooh... XD
  • Spritle101 - November 23, 2009 6:58 a.m.

    The Japanese F-Zero music is great ^_^ The character designs are hideos! It burns! O_o
  • PivotPlurals1 - September 27, 2009 6:40 p.m.

    now i know why people use the Falcon Punch Scene For Youtube Poop Videoss, The Background Music is rly Cheesy
  • PivotPlurals1 - September 27, 2009 6:39 p.m.

    now i know why people use the Falcon Punch Scene For Youtube Poop Videoss, The Background Music is rly Cheesy
  • nosferatu756 - November 11, 2008 2:40 a.m.

    I had never heard the freaky fliers. Holy lord, that was the worst songs for any piece of interactive media ever.
  • SpicyPoyratez - October 1, 2008 1:35 a.m.

    YEAH!!! SnakeEater made the list! I was looking for it the second I read the thread title.
  • Romination - September 30, 2008 4:18 a.m.

    Super Sonic Racing. NONE of the songs in Brawl are so shameful and painful and other synonyms for nightmarish. I don't think the God Hand one counts...that one is MEANT to bad.
  • EmoMuffin - September 30, 2008 3:06 a.m.

    Alright, you suckered me in with "hair metal"
  • GamesRadarBrettElston - September 28, 2008 1:56 a.m.

    Glad everyone's enjoying (wrong word, perhaps?) the article. But to the guy who asked "what the fuck" I know about game music... oh man, just ask.
  • TedDidlio - September 28, 2008 12:15 a.m.

    fuck what i just said, almost every song on this list would give the cumlords in dragonforce boners.
  • TedDidlio - September 28, 2008 12:11 a.m.

    the clayfighter song would definitely give the d-bags in dragonforce throbbing hard ons.
  • CandiedJester - September 27, 2008 9:34 p.m.

    "Night trap!" ....wtf...was that.
  • cricket0 - September 27, 2008 3:55 p.m.

    I love cheesey songs!!!!
  • Herschal - September 27, 2008 9:51 a.m.

    I feel sick now. Time to go blast some decent music into my ears for the next several days.
  • Mighty - September 26, 2008 9:08 p.m.

    Bad list. What the fuck do you assholes know about game music
  • paperkirby23 - September 25, 2008 4:50 p.m.

    uhhggg that first one was i disliked
  • bodysnatcher - September 25, 2008 12:31 p.m.

    even tho snake eater got mentioned it shoulda been at the top of the list. that song is horrible. "Someday you go through the rain And someday, you feed on a tree frog"

Showing 1-20 of 69 comments

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