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The cheesiest videogame songs EVER

Standout lyric: “Valiant ‘gainst the power, evil forces take heed!”

Anime fans are willing to put up with a lot when it comes to cheesed-out intro themes. Even by our standards though, Lunar lays it on pretty damn thick. The lyrics are super serious, almost out of a ‘60s comic book scribed by Stan “The Man” Lee himself. It has a distinct call-to-arms feel, much more urgent than the stiff animation would have you believe.

Silver Star Story: Silver Star Story Complete vastly improved the intro’s animation, though the song was altered to a far blander ballad. Instead of an up-tempo battle theme, Complete gave us a ditty filled with “let’s go team!” charm:

Head to the last page for cheesy lyrics to “Fighting Through the Darkness.”





Standout lyric: “I saw your face, I felt our souls embrace”

The successful pairing of longtime scribe Roberta Williams and future Gabriel Knight author Jane Jensen unleashed what many consider to be the finest achievement of all adventure games. King’s Quest VI is known for many things; exceptional storytelling, competent voice acting, even quality 3D visuals in a time when such a thing was unheard of.

Too bad the theme song is a maniacally torturous piece of Top 40 flotsam. Someone had the good grace to at least set it to clips from the aforementioned Silver Star Story, making it a dual-layered cheesy calzone from hell:

Show stopper: Like we said, KQVI is something of a crown jewel for adventure titles. Strange then, that it also marked the end of the traditional King’s Quest setup; part seven was Disney’d out the ass and eight “sold out” to action, swordplay and chuggy polygons. Cringe in scoffed awe at seven’s Disney knockoff intro:

Head to the last page for cheesy lyrics to “Girl in the Tower.”





Standout lyric: “Shoot the flying monkey, sink that funky li’l battleship... good God!”

Freaky Flyers is the worst game on this list, period. Every single piece of audio that slithers out of the speakers is an affront to humanity, from a grating announcer to background music Lucifer himself would not have dared create.

The worst of the worst is “Operation Midway,” a song that’s best described as “Village People cover band that was killed and then re-animated as zombies that can only approximate music instead of actually creating it.”

Effing eff: The title screen narrowly lost the Worst Ever honor to “Operation Midway.” That does not mean it is any less dangerous – the lyrics would make the toes of every jingle writer on the planet curl, the singer is out of tune and there are so many synonyms for “insane” we’re confident the writer just whipped out a thesaurus and called it a song. Whacky freaky loony!

Head to the last page for cheesy lyrics to “Operation Midway.”

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69 comments

  • Mexicutioner - October 7, 2010 7:23 a.m.

    Christ! Has it really been over 2 years since this was first posted?! Oh man, T-Dar 20 is still one of the best!
  • FanofSaiyan - December 7, 2009 3:15 a.m.

    Ironically, I own the SNES Clayfighter. I liked the song, and it was the only game my mom would play with me. Just to make this clear, I was 5 when I played this game.
  • jmcgrotty - December 1, 2009 5:56 a.m.

    Any game you can't play muted should automatically start out at a maximum high score of 50% of the available score (so, a game you can't play muted can't get higher than a 5/10).
  • Spritle101 - November 23, 2009 7:04 a.m.

    Clayfighter, clay-clayfighter, oooow...wooowwooooooooow oh ooooooh... XD
  • Spritle101 - November 23, 2009 6:58 a.m.

    The Japanese F-Zero music is great ^_^ The character designs are hideos! It burns! O_o
  • PivotPlurals1 - September 27, 2009 6:40 p.m.

    now i know why people use the Falcon Punch Scene For Youtube Poop Videoss, The Background Music is rly Cheesy
  • PivotPlurals1 - September 27, 2009 6:39 p.m.

    now i know why people use the Falcon Punch Scene For Youtube Poop Videoss, The Background Music is rly Cheesy
  • nosferatu756 - November 11, 2008 2:40 a.m.

    I had never heard the freaky fliers. Holy lord, that was the worst songs for any piece of interactive media ever.
  • SpicyPoyratez - October 1, 2008 1:35 a.m.

    YEAH!!! SnakeEater made the list! I was looking for it the second I read the thread title.
  • Romination - September 30, 2008 4:18 a.m.

    Super Sonic Racing. NONE of the songs in Brawl are so shameful and painful and other synonyms for nightmarish. I don't think the God Hand one counts...that one is MEANT to bad.
  • EmoMuffin - September 30, 2008 3:06 a.m.

    Alright, you suckered me in with "hair metal"
  • GamesRadarBrettElston - September 28, 2008 1:56 a.m.

    Glad everyone's enjoying (wrong word, perhaps?) the article. But to the guy who asked "what the fuck" I know about game music... oh man, just ask.
  • TedDidlio - September 28, 2008 12:15 a.m.

    fuck what i just said, almost every song on this list would give the cumlords in dragonforce boners.
  • TedDidlio - September 28, 2008 12:11 a.m.

    the clayfighter song would definitely give the d-bags in dragonforce throbbing hard ons.
  • CandiedJester - September 27, 2008 9:34 p.m.

    "Night trap!" ....wtf...was that.
  • cricket0 - September 27, 2008 3:55 p.m.

    I love cheesey songs!!!!
  • Herschal - September 27, 2008 9:51 a.m.

    I feel sick now. Time to go blast some decent music into my ears for the next several days.
  • Mighty - September 26, 2008 9:08 p.m.

    Bad list. What the fuck do you assholes know about game music
  • paperkirby23 - September 25, 2008 4:50 p.m.

    uhhggg that first one was i disliked
  • bodysnatcher - September 25, 2008 12:31 p.m.

    even tho snake eater got mentioned it shoulda been at the top of the list. that song is horrible. "Someday you go through the rain And someday, you feed on a tree frog"

Showing 1-20 of 69 comments

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