""Don't go, it's crap!"" screamed the French posters of actor/producer/writer/director Laurent Baffie's nonsense comedy. Boy, they weren't kidding: this is a Gallic, middle-aged version of Dude, Where's My Car (Keys)?, with French TV comedian Baffie and thesp Daniel Russo wandering through a series of non sequitur gags in search of the eponymous missing objects. Self-conscious, surreal nonsense involving killer whales, animated interludes and a "friendly" bank robbery. It's so totally absurd, even Eric "'When the seagulls follow the trawler'" Cantona refuses to star in it.