The Anti-Awards 2010

WINNER: Kinect launch lineup

Even after four years of Wii, the potential and possibility of motion control still excited us. Just because the majority of the system's games were extremely half-assed attempts to cash in on an extremely casual and clueless audience didn't mean the technology was meritless. Motion control was currently being wasted and abused, yes, but maybe if it was made for a more serious, less forgiving audience – say, that of the Xbox 360 or PS3? – then just maybe it could, one day, be as awesome as the Holodeck or Danger Room or whatever other sci-fi virtual reality teased your youthful imagination.

Nope. As both Microsoft Kinect and PlayStation Move proved last year, with better graphics and better processing power comes… the same predictable crap we've mocked for half a decade. Look at the lazy launch lineup for Kinect, which we found doubly disappointing since Microsoft's motion control – unlike Sony's – was actually, and admirably, different from Nintendo's.

Two kiddie racers? Four fitness coaches? Six minigame collections? A pet playground? The Kinect is capable of full-body 3D capture! The Kinect can recognize individual faces, voices and gestures! The Kinect has an infrared laser projector that transforms your living room into something out of Tron! And this is seriously the best that game developers can come up with? A dance simulator is really the "killer app" of Microsoft's motion control, and even that has an awful, similarly titled doppelganger waiting on shelves to confuse mainstream consumers?

The only cliché missing at the moment is child-rearing tween bait, but we're sure planned 2011 titles like Dance on Broadway, Michael Jackson: The Experience and Kinectalloons will keep that demographic occupied until Imagine Party Babyz can be successfully ported over.

We used to dream about the future of gaming. Now we dread it.

Final Fantasy XIV

There’s got to be something cool about Final Fantasy XIV. But after wading through the game’s unintuitive menu systems, horrible lag and a learning curve steeper than EVE Online, FFXIV quickly devolved into one of the most frustrating experiences of the year.

But don’t take our word for it. Square Enix CEO Yoichi Wada is full of shame and has officially apologized to investors and fans for the poor quality of FFXIV. The state of the game is so bad, in fact, that the monthly subscription fee has been removed until Square Enix can address players’ numerous grievances with the game. Meanwhile the PS3 version got a massive delay. Its concern and active involvement with the community is commendable, but the fact it allowed the game to ship in such a sad, unplayable state is flat-out unacceptable. The promises of change continue to this day – will it ever recover?

Jan 5, 2010


The Anti-Awards 2009
Celebrating the crappiest games, moments and dumbass dickery of the year


Top 7… Hideous gaming disasters of 2010
The turd icing on last year’s otherwise tasty game cake


The Platinum Chalice Awards 2010
The best games of last year, honored with the glittering trophies they deserve


  • xSpeedyMonkeyx - January 16, 2011 9:31 p.m.

    I dont understand this... This whole article is based on their opinions and yet you all get worked up. Just because they have an article doesnt mean they know what theyre talking about. Especially if they just ruined a few games I wanted to play without a warning. Failures. Garbage article.
  • Zeb364 - January 10, 2011 9:18 a.m.

    Agreed for most of them and had a pretty good laugh at the Black Ops glitch video.
  • Yeager1122 - January 9, 2011 8:09 a.m.

    Cant beleive people got that worked up over halo reach getting an 8 although it was hilarious to listen to you guys read some of what people said.
  • coolip - January 9, 2011 4:08 a.m.

    Lol, that talkradar vid was hilarious. I remember the ApocalyPS3 of '2010 like it was last year, I lost my trophies (but I got em back in the end)
  • Reaperman64 - January 9, 2011 2:10 a.m.

    @zonic505 The charecters are on the disc, otherwise online theyd be confined to being used against players who already have the dlc. and special edition owners get them immediately, although the limited aint comming out over in the uk... Same thing with SSF4 costumes, the first set can be seen by all, as there on the disc, but not everybody can see the second lot, as they are dlc. Mvc3 is a shameless, and potentially balance ruining cash grab
  • RazielArcanum - January 8, 2011 10:08 p.m.

    I honestly don't understand the structure of this article. I'm going to have to pass.
  • JetpackJesus - January 8, 2011 5:28 p.m.

    Paying for Jill in MvC3? Me no likee. Paying for Shuma Gorath, on the other hand? I can livee withoutee.
  • CodeR - January 8, 2011 2:28 p.m.

    LOL WUT - yes many people would like the Devil May Cry reboot to be Bayonetta with less boobs, but since when do the narcissistic dumbasses at Ninja Theory have the competency to do that? So they are good at characterisation, perhaps they should stick at writing and not developing games then? Strangely many people would love Platinum Games to have been brought back by Capcom, not another cringe worthy attempt at "westernisation" like Bionic Commando. The knee jerk reaction to that trailer was pretty stupid but there are real issues underlying it that have nothing to do with aesthetics of the new Dante.
  • Sukharevskaya - January 8, 2011 6:30 a.m.

    HaHAHAHA! Your guy's humor seriously tops anything I've read before on a game website.
  • quincytheodore - January 8, 2011 3:27 a.m.

    I agree with FF13, it takes too long to start up, you can't even level-up in the first 2 hours. I have plenty tolerance for story driven game and played many FF before, but FF13 is like a lonely experience with epic setting. I can see how many gamers feel alienate by it. I haven't finish Enslaved yet, but it convinced me that Dante make-over might actually be good. DMC is good but not in GoW or Bayonetta level, they need something fresh. Dante-in-blue, oh I meant Nero with his klepto hand is not the answer. And the stone award... I have to apologize before, I don't mean to troll or mock you in anyway, but I thought bronze, Cereza I think, was the worst. I got it when playing one of the early levels, I swear there was a voice in the background saying I played like a little girl, I was already down on the floor OTL. "Pat in the back"
  • texasgoldrush - January 8, 2011 1:55 a.m.

    @ GamesRadarCharlieBarratt Giving Pyramid a larger role would in fact hurt the game's pacing and take the focus of the characters and their relationship with eachother. While narratives like Red Dead Redemption (or any Rockstar game in general) and FFXIII have no concept of pacing, Enslaved stands out for its excellent sense of pace. Pyramid's role is small because the protagonists do not know his true motives until they get to his base. Its easily understandable. Trying to force his motives into the plot earlier would derail the pacing and cause the narrative to lose focus. Trips enslavement of Monkey is far more important to the plot than Pyramids motives. There was closure to Trip's relationship with Monkey, it was a sense of support, from when he tells her to turn the handband back on until when she kills Pyramid, telling her its over and supporting her(a decision he may not have agrred with as he was wearing the mask and enthralled by the images). It was a morally ambigious ending to a morally ambigious game with morally ambigious characters (all three characters can be considered anti-heroes).
  • Spybreak8 - January 8, 2011 1:32 a.m.

    I love the category "Cheap grab for a boner" lol. It's too bad APB was crap and like Tdar said it's just odd that APB and Crackdown 2 come out the same time and both are less than decent.
  • GamesRadarCharlieBarratt - January 7, 2011 7:53 p.m.

    @Kwalaboy Since you're clearly biased against a particular side of the GR staff, and since you couldn't even bother to spell my name correctly when trying to provoke with words like "disgraceful" and "disgusting" (nice way to start a conversation), I won't waste too much time on my response: I did think that Reach was an improvement over the previous Halo, ODST. That's why I scored Reach an 8 and ODST a 7. 8 > 7
  • GamesRadarCharlieBarratt - January 7, 2011 7:38 p.m.

    @texasgoldrush I love your interpretation of Enslaved, and you've given me some extra appreciation for the story - which I already appreciated quite a bit - but I'm not going to follow you down this rabbit hole of TV tropes and English lit definitions for who's a protagonist and who isn't. That's not what's important to my original argument. Again, my problems with the ending are: 1) That the relationship between Trip and Monkey isn't resolved or even developed any further. Regardless of whether it's romantic or just emotional, as you say, I believe there should have been some kind of closure. We get no details on what they might do next, what kind of life they might lead or whether they'll stick together. Instead, we get a sudden onslaught of details on... 2) Pyramid, which until this point, has been depicted as a vague and generic army of robots. We know they imprisoned Trip and Monkey at the beginning, and we hear the occasional line of dialogue about them being "slavers," but if the true nature of Pyramid is so crucial to the ending - and to Trip's arc - then the game should have given Pyramid more of a narrative impact and presence throughout. I felt the ending did a lot more to explain Enslaved's collectibles than satisfyingly wrap up Enslaved's story. Thanks for responding so eloquently, though... this has been a fun and thought-provoking discussion.
  • iDEALfury - January 7, 2011 7:09 p.m.

    that kinect launch lineup nearly made me throw up... seriously, 4 fitness games??!?!
  • Pruman - January 7, 2011 6:33 p.m.

    @ZukotaIsoba: It is impossible for Other M to be an origin story. Did you notice that the opening cutscene is a flashback from Super Metroid, the seventh game in the series chronologically? If Other M was a prequel to the original, I would agree with you wholeheartedly. But at this point, Samus had fought Ridley five times already (the original, Prime 1 and 3, and twice in Super Metroid). To break down scared and crying, and wait for a man to save her, is not becoming of someone who had already blown up multiple space pirate strongholds, killed countless numbers of their soldiers and leaders, and committed genocide against three different species of dangerous parasites (the Ing and Phazon being the other two) and was about to commit genocide against a fourth (the X parasites).
  • bedelicious - January 7, 2011 12:34 p.m.

    I agree with pretty much everything. Also glad to see someone acknowledge at least some of the stupidity in Heavy Rain, I couldn't believe it got so many nominations for best new character and story and stuff around the Internet. PS: I knew I should have thrown a bigger fit about DmC's trailer, now I feel outdone XD Say whatever you want though, but it would take a lot to make me believe this game could be good. On the other hand, I thought the reaction to Halo Reach's score was adorable XD seriously, who didn't see that a million miles away? I'm sure anything less than perfect 10 would have led to a similar result XD
  • ChuckB - January 7, 2011 12:19 p.m.

    I liked Enslaved's ending...
  • Kwalaboy - January 7, 2011 2:11 a.m.

    @texasgoldrush beautifully put. It was all about Trip's Trip. Monkeys awareness of self-being was only to show the humanity and innocents of Trip can heal the most corrupt of people. @TRUS This is probably the third article that's been posted in the last few months including the inception/halo reach video and to be honest, as bad as the reaction was from the 'halo' community, the way you have handled it has been disgraceful. Your critical opinion is perfectly valid and the reputation you uphold means it carries a lot of weight. But to publicly take another persons comment and respond by sarcastically repeating it with the pure intention of insulting the writer is disgusting. A few weeks ago Justin Towell decided to give GT5 a 7. Many who had been anticipating the game took offense to this and questioned why he had chosen his score. In the following podcast he responded and tried to answer many question put to him. He didn't respond 'with his mates' insulting anyone who bad mouthed his review. He looked at it subjectively (which he is paid to do as a JOURNALIST) One of the points raised in you video was a reader who had commented why you felt the game was an improvement of the previous halo and then decided to score it lower, that sounds like a valid point, I know because I read the review thinking the same thing, yet all you did was insult him. Since the video response (not so much the review, to be honest I couldn't care less about the review) the only GR US member who I ever read the article of is Matthew Keast. So Charlie Barrett and Co. How you gonna treat this comment, you gonna make a smarmy youtube video, or do you fancy answering me seriously? Also Meiks, Keast, Towell, Cundy, Irvine and Houghton (yes i've finally bought singularity after your recommendation) keep up the good work.
  • texasgoldrush - January 7, 2011 1:38 a.m.

    To add Thats what Monkey really is. In fact, Trip's Journey To The West counterpart, the monk Xuanzang (who is also refered to as Tripitaka), is the protagonist and main character of the classic novel. The cental character isn't the one with the "clearest story arc", its the character that the story revolves around. The reason why Trip isn't the protagonist is that she would not be fun to play as in a video game. The story is very small picture and the picture is Trip. In fact, the big picture is way too shallow to be anything other than about the small picture.

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