The Anti-Awards 2009

You know the old saying, “Something is better than nothing?” Like all adages, it’s not always true. In the case of Modern Warfare Reflex, a two-year-old port of the groundbreaking PS3/360 title, nothing at all would have been preferable to this poorly envisioned port. While some reviews will tell you “it’s good for Wii” and “compared to other Wii shooters it’s fine,” we can’t in good conscience say the same. It’s been a semi-divisive topic here, but the majority believes this is a nearly unplayable mess that lacks all of the spark and tension found in the original.

Above: BLECH

This isn’t an anti-Wii stance. We could rattle off 20 amazing Wii-only games that you absolutely must play, third parties included. But Reflex is awful. The default motion controls are shoddy as hell, and there are so many options for tweaking that the typical Wii owner will never in a million years know if they’ve configured them to their optimum setting. Sure the graphics suffer from 360 to Wii, but that’s the least the problems here.

It feels like a mercy lay from Activision, who instead of putting the money behind a Wii version of Modern Warfare 2, decided “something” would be better than “nothing” for you, and lazily converted a game that was outdated the moment it hit stores. If World at War sold well enough to justify another Wii Call of Duty, they should have made Modern Warfare 2 instead of slopping this out two years late and charging $50. Don’t accept what they give you just because there’s no better option – demand quality from your games.

Runner-up – Dead Rising: Chop ‘til You Drop

Nothing says “We Care” like a scaled-down port of a nearly three-year-old Xbox 360 game. The entire point of this goofy survival story was the mass of undead roaming the mall, and once that’s been stripped to Wii-level it’s simply not worth playing. Looks bad, sounds bad, plays bad.

2009 was the year of delays. BioShock 2, Bayonetta, Splinter Cell Conviction… give us a second here, we need a glass of water. Right, that’s better. Heavy Rain, Dante’s Inferno, Red Steel 2; loads of games we were eagerly anticipating got the kibosh put on them until 2010. And you know what? We blame Modern Warfare 2. While we might love lining up men between our P90 sights and drilling bullets into their brows, Infinity Ward’s megaton shooter has a lot to answer for. Namely scaring almost every other big game penciled for a Q4 2009 release into turning tail and running into the relative safety of 2010.

Above: Sam might be hard enough to crack men’s skulls open in bathrooms, but he’s still not man enough to go up against Captain Price

Many developers and publishers seemed so worried at the prospect of getting buried in Modern Warfare’s sales avalanche that even established franchises headed for the hills and delayed their releases. And that’s without even mentioning the likes of the perennially delayed Alan Wake and GT5 making us release promises they can never stick to. Ah well, at least the story of our old pal Duke Nukem Forever had a happy ending… oh. Shit, stay strong <sob>. Stay strong.

If there was one lesson to be learned from 2009, it’s that consumers will not buy five different peripheral bundles in a three month period. Shelling out $200+ for a Rock Band 2 or Guitar Hero: World Tour package was questionable enough in 2008, but last year we saw, from September to November, hugely expensive bundles for The Beatles: Rock Band, Guitar Hero 5, DJ Hero, Band Hero and Tony Hawk Ride. This has quite naturally led to piles and piles of unsold plastic.

Above: An entire corner of retail space dominated by bundles

Above: Put ‘em wherever there’s room, guys

Above: $10,440 worth of EXTREME

There’s so much of this crap lying around we started a thread based around snapshots of said bundles, and this doesn’t even include the DS Band Hero, Guitar Hero Van Halen or July’s Rock Band Unplugged. How much time and money do these people think we have?

It’s no secret that several franchises are produced on an annual basis. Activision, EA, Nintendo and plenty others milk their properties for reliable, yearly results, and that’s just what we’ve come to expect. However, a strange side effect of such predictable scheduling is that certain franchises are locked into bi-annual editions alongside each other. For example, 2009 was a year of sequels to games released in 2007.

Above: We’ll go ahead and predict 2011 looks a lot like this

Coincidence, you say? How about 2008 compared to 2006?

Above: A really long image that stretches the page

We don’t hate sequels. We’re not even totally down on bi-annual release schedules. It’s just fun to point out how unbelievably unimaginative the industry has become when the holiday season rolls around. Already this year we can expect Dead Space 2, Castlevania: Lords of Shadow, Yakuza 3 and some kind of World at War sequel, plus the usual bouts of Guitar Hero, Rock Band, Madden, Dynasty Warriors and so on that laced 2008. The trend continues.

But, at least these games are generally good. On the next page we finally reveal the Anti-Game of 2009, and if you’ve been paying attention to the award itself the winner will come as no surprise.


  • Oddeh7 - May 27, 2010 7:26 p.m.

    "It’s an awful game guys, every major reviewer has given it a poor score, don’t buy it, trust me on this. – 5.0/10 – 2/5 Your kids will be immensely disappointed. 6.1 Cat says: 12/17/2009 at 5:54 PM Well, I have to respectfully disagree with you and the other reviewers. As you can see from the video, my son (who is 8 by the way) absolutely loves the game. He’s not an adult, serious gamer, but a child that enjoys the ability to skateboard in our home in a safe environment. From a parental perspective, I enjoy it as much as he does. There’s no violence and he’s getting physical activity. 6.2 Alakazam says: 12/17/2009 at 6:06 PM I suppose children ARE easily amused,,,,, 6.3 Cat says: 12/17/2009 at 6:08 PM Yes sir, they are." I actually found this on the site's review for this. LOL. Also, who scores games by just saying if you should buy it? reCaptcha: penwell would Yes he would. (soz for long post)
  • ActiveCancer - March 26, 2010 4:29 a.m.

    That seslers rant was hilarious "do you F*** your mother" i haven't got a ps3 and if i were to get one and a game i would look at killzone
  • theres1dentevil - February 13, 2010 6:13 p.m.

    sessler had me in stitches, he had a right to be pissed off.loved the inventive put downs when having a go at the nobs who wrote to him. brilliant.
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  • TheHolyHandGrenade - January 18, 2010 9:22 p.m.

    I dont know whats worse. The Great Killzone debate or the MAG Argument. seriously, on every single youtube video of MAG theres sombody who says the games crap and somone how compares it to COD6 and somone who says both games suck. Its starting to annoy the hell out of me
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  • WrathLord03 - January 12, 2010 9:52 a.m.

    I honestly think the Eye of Indra Comic Book Series by Naughty Dog should be mentioned in the Shameless Grab for Cash. I mean, they release the first and second comic one week and then the third and last one the next. The first one is free, and the other three are $1.75 AUD each. Then, one week later, they introduce a pack that allows you to buy all four comics along with TWO exdclusive multiplayer skins for $4.25AUD! Shameless!
  • country1st - January 12, 2010 3:57 a.m.

    if you have to glitch to win a game or get kills your a pussy and have no life. which means you must search the internet to find them too, that's fukin sad!! :(
  • country1st - January 12, 2010 3:50 a.m.

    ok for starters i own a 360 but killzone 2 looks bad ass. hell i want it my brother does and says its bad ass so people need to get over their bias bullshit. for all i care do all reviews for games on just ps3 or 360 unless there is an exclusive. their both fine systems and they both may have their drawbacks.Bias my ass.
  • venomman01 - January 10, 2010 10:02 p.m.

    I hate MW2 so fucking much reCAPTCH:medicine flushed
  • marioman50 - January 10, 2010 8:36 p.m.

    Oh god, the only thing I ever saw Rourke in was Sin city. Now I can totally picture Marv singing on stage at a jazz club, lol.
  • holiday7291 - January 9, 2010 6:31 p.m.

    hahaha, great killzone 2 video. couldnt stop laughing. and that guy is an idoit
  • AndyGiff93 - January 8, 2010 5:26 p.m.

    The Adam Sessler thing is brilliant, but he's right, the whole fanboy thing really became ridiculous around Killzone 2. Good article though, probably even more entertaining than the actual awards... lol
  • speno93 - January 8, 2010 3:18 p.m.

    Finally i was waiting for someone to confirm my 2 year sequel release suspicions and i was right!. Good article by the way.
  • reaperman22 - January 8, 2010 6:20 a.m.

    lol in that killzone vid the guy spelled stupid wrong, i love irony
  • inconceivable - January 8, 2010 6:19 a.m.

    The Wife Arm is never going to not be funny. I was just thinking that if his arm is his wife's essence, what does that make masturbation? (Please note: I'm a little bit drunk, but that does not affect the rest of my comment). Anyways, hilarious article. I was LOLing often, which led to me trying to explain to my mom what was so funny about the Anti-Awards. That didn't really work out.
  • ghostx101 - January 8, 2010 3:39 a.m.

    hahahahah on the video for killzone the guy, cliptag, said, "call me stuped" haha he spelled stupid wrong
  • FETALJUICE - January 8, 2010 1:55 a.m.

    Ha! Even before the whole awarding giving began, I just KNEW what game would be the worst of 2009, JUST by looking at the award icon. lol Anyways, IMO all of these awards were dead on. Great article GR!
  • Samael - January 8, 2010 12:59 a.m.

    @crumbdunky Dude, no offense, but if you need to rant that much, start a blog. Please stop clogging the comments. Great list, both funny & depressing.

Showing 1-20 of 69 comments

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