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The 7 least-scary moments in scary games

1. Resident Evil (PSone, PC, DS, Saturn) - Every single time anyone opens their fat stupid mouths
The original Resident Evil might not have been the first survival-horror game, but it's the one that set the mold for all the others to follow. Telling the story of a group of special agents trapped in a house full of zombies, its schlocky scares and obtuse puzzles were made up for by an overbearing sense that something could jump out and eat you at any second - mostly because it often did.

But Resident Evil is infamous for another reason: its hilariously bad voice acting and script. If you've ever heard the lines, "You, the master of unlocking," or "STOP IT! Don't open! That door!" or even "You were almost a Jill sandwich," then you've tasted the true horror of Resident Evil.



The game might have been a trailblazer, but every time one of those characters started to say something, we wanted to tell them to shut the hell up or else we'd walk them straight into a zombie. Still, we grudgingly grew fond of them, and when the slick GameCube remake shoved them aside in favor of performances that were paid for with money instead of sandwiches, a little part of us died - only to reawaken later and attempt to eat the rest of us.

Think you know an even unscarier moment? (And please don't say, "all of them, because I am extremely manly and do not find so-called 'horror' games frightening in the least." Everyone's heard that a million times, and it's a total buzzkill.) Feel free to tell us about it in our forum.

6 comments

  • Pocotron - September 5, 2011 10:33 a.m.

    Did I just find the beginning of the internet?
  • jessicasmiley - November 19, 2010 4:23 a.m.

    "I was weak. That's why I needed you...Needed someone to punish me for my sins..." —James Sunderland, Silent Hill 2, The pyramids are a version of James meant to punish him for the murder of his wife. when James finally admits to himself what he did to her he doesn't need that constant reminder because he has accepted what he did and what he is in Silent Hill for! Thats why they kill themselves. sorry it wasnt an epic battle but it was meant to be symbolic of him taking responsibility.
  • seniorpain - October 26, 2008 9:18 a.m.

    this is the first comment
  • Narudude360 - June 26, 2009 9:13 p.m.

    Numb Bodies scared me because of the fear of that clammy gross skin coming into contact with mine. *Shudder*
  • misfit119 - March 12, 2009 10:26 p.m.

    So the jesters were the ones that killed it for you? It wasn't the fact that the two teenage leads acted like such idiots that if they had died, instead of the bad guys, it would definitely have been worth cheering about?
  • AA95mp - December 13, 2008 5:21 p.m.

    why did they add the numb bodies?

Showing 1-6 of 6 comments

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