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Jurassic Park Trespasser

What do Trespasser and GamesRadar have in common? They both force you to look at boobs! LOLOLLOL! Your life meter takes the form of a heart tattooed on a giant set of first-person gazzungas. If the game had anything else worth noting, which coincidentally it does not, it wouldn’t matter. Also like GR, “BOOBZ” will be the only thing anyone remembers. *cue tiniest violin*


Above: LOLDURRHURR 


Doom

Doom not only made you the life bar, it was pretty much the only glimpse gamers got of the nameless space marine. His bloody dishevelment made low health situations feel all the more dire. And by creating viewable physical consequences to poor play and decision making, the bond it assuredly reinforced the bond between player and protagonist. You are bleeding, and it’s YOUR fault, mister! And yes, I’m aware Wolfenstein 3D did it first, but Doom sprites were easier to find. So please enjoy some lovely GIF action:


The Legend of Zelda

You can’t argue that it’s probably the most iconic life bar in the medium, but not the most creative, you say? Poppycock! Hearts in Zelda imply so very many things, and often times speak something unique about every player. Sure, they give you more life (durr!) however, they can also mark progression as well.

Zelda’s heart meter is capable of indicating how many dungeons a fastidious player has beaten, while people who get up to twenty can wear them proudly as badges of exploratory honor. Hell, deep Zelda nerds can probably look at a single inventory screen and judge exactly where Link is in the game based solely on aspects of the heart collection. So who cares if they’re responsible for one of gaming’s most annoying noises?! More hearts is more gooder!


BONUS: Mega Man IV

Okay, the life bars in Mega Man may not be all that creative even though, visually, they’re damn near perfection. This is different. Years after we’ve all played every NES game to death, people are still unearthing shit about the game. Oh, you think you’ve learned every boss pattern? Well, some dude named  MrL1193 discovered this mind-blowing fact about Bright Man just a mere matter of months ago: the secret is in his health bar.

As it turns out, Bright Man uses his cheap ass Flash Stopper according to specific levels in his health. Even without knowledge of his weaknesses, it’d only take a bit of simple math and timing to conceivably defeat him without ever getting attacked by his signature move. So… it stands to reason this pattern probably isn’t exclusive to a single Mega Man boss, right? We’ll leave that to somebody with a lot more time on their hands.

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66 comments

  • kpale002 - December 31, 2013 2:01 a.m.

    well it could be argued that the RIG in dead space and the health bar due make sense from Isaacs point of view to a third person one. If you knew you weren't feeling well you wouldn't really need an indicator ttell you that. From a doctors perspective (or player) it makes sense because it quickly gauges how severe a persons are. Plus there is nothing to say that he can't see it either, it may be part of his HUD within the helmet.
  • g1rldraco7 - December 30, 2013 5:08 p.m.

    Primal Rage was a great fighter and that life bar really surprised me. It was disturbing when the heart and brain exploded when the character was defeated. My favorite has always been the Zelda life bar.
  • TheWebSwinger - December 30, 2013 1:06 p.m.

    I was wondering when we'd get some ClassicRadar from the old (permanent staff) crew : )
  • GenderBender_9000 - December 30, 2013 5:45 p.m.

    I thought I detected a hint of pizza aroma.
  • Strangleme - August 21, 2010 4:33 p.m.

    Sweet article. I love the Doom facial expressions the most. When I played that game as a kid I use to love seeing him get fucked up and bloody!!! Good times.
  • darkprince4321 - August 21, 2010 2:01 a.m.

    am i the only one who remembers Tak and the Power of JuJu's color changing head feather health meter, that was a kick ass health meter, or how about spyro the dragon's Sparx the dragonfly who also changed colors and had to eat butterflies to regain health, anyone else got anything???
  • MrWordman - August 20, 2010 9:51 p.m.

    Steve Brule FTW
  • GameManiac - August 20, 2010 4:29 p.m.

    I knew it! I knew that somewhere in this article, the health bar ITSELF would be used as a weapon.
  • american101 - August 20, 2010 4:50 a.m.

    good......goooood.
  • mahabat - August 20, 2010 2:52 a.m.

    uhhhh mass effect 2 health system is no different then halo 3 in any way at all, also neither of them are very original at all
  • Radagast107 - August 20, 2010 12:51 a.m.

    I thought that the healing system that Mass Effect 2 was pretty nice, no worrying about health packs anymore!!
  • WickedSid - August 20, 2010 12:08 a.m.

    BOOBZ!
  • Dutch - August 19, 2010 9:28 p.m.

    It's nice seeing Chris do a feature now and then.
  • notallgoodnameswheretaken - August 19, 2010 6:40 p.m.

    Thank you
  • FETALJUICE - August 19, 2010 4:09 p.m.

    I loved that spine health bar in Dead Space. Kinda disappointing you guys didn't mention the EKG graph from the old Resident Evil games, the self healing animations of Farcry 2, and even the Silouhette Pain Meter in Max Payne series. Hell, what about the upcoming Splatterhouse remake where how badly your injured is shown on the character's body, (ex. lost limbs, exposed ribs)?
  • notallgoodnameswheretaken - August 19, 2010 4:02 p.m.

    Fix the damn ads. You should permanently ban people if all they do is put up ads. Even drawing a cute kitty isn't going to make me buy anything.
  • gmknoble - August 19, 2010 3:42 p.m.

    Dig the article, Mr. Antista.
  • horrorfinatic - August 19, 2010 3:05 p.m.

    I am a huge resident evil fan, so I am disappointed that it was't mentioned. Also, the remake, residentevil 0, and resident evil 4. All gamecube classics.
  • CAPST3R - August 19, 2010 2:53 p.m.

    Dammit, isn't there anything anybody can do to get rid of these ads besides reporting them? They're beginning to annoy me. And that 'use the health bar as a weapon' thing is just awesome. I had the idea myself a few years back (no, I'm not saying that they stole the idea from me), but I never thought it would actually happen. Sadly, it isn't grounds for me buying the game. Also, I agree with the guy somewhere above- FC2's self-healing system was good, it should have gotten a mention. And another thing- have these reCAPTCHA things got harder to read recently, or have I just been playing FO3 too much?
  • CARDYKEV - August 19, 2010 1:56 p.m.

    I personally thought a noticable feature of Jurassic Park Tresspasser was the realistic physics :p

Showing 1-20 of 66 comments

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