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The 10 cheesiest songs about videogames

Infogrames Rocks My World

By: Someone who will never step forward

Standout lyric: “N*Sync Hotline, Dragon Ball / Alone in the Dark, and that’s not all”

This song. Jesus, this song. It is the epitome of clueless marketing in a room full of yes men, where no one, literally no one stepped in to say “um, actually this is a horrible idea and the cheesiest, stupidest song the world will ever know. Honestly, who’s the audience for this, and how much did we pay this lady to belt out random game names? What if this gets out and the whole of the internet links it around and Infogrames becomes a laughing stock and synonymous with ‘out of touch publisher?’ Oh hey let’s buy Atari.”

And buy Atari it did. ‘Grames also bought Gremlin Interactive, MicroProse, Humongous Entertainment, Accolade, GT Interactive, Ocean, Paradigm and Shiny, all names that once meant something, dried up and then were sloughed off.

This former employee has a small bit to share regarding prior worlds being rocked.


My Console

By: Eiffel 65

Standout lyric: “Ridge Racer, Oddworld, Winning Eleven / The game on my PlayStation”

We’re sure no one’s forgotten Eiffel’s “Blue (Da Ba Dee)” from late 1999 (currently being voco-sampled in Flo Rida’s “Candy”), but how many actually bought the album, listened through to track six and found an entire song devoted to the late ‘90s PlayStation lineup? There are barely any lyrics at all, as the remaining lines are “Tekken 3, Metal Gear Solid, Resident Evil, Gran Turismo, Omega Boost, Bloody Roar, X-Files all over the world.”

It doesn’t matter how annoying you think “Blue” was or how cheesy “My Console” is for being nothing more than an unsolicited commercial, for the final song on the list transcends silly and plummets straight into a hellish nightmare.


Video Games

By: Black Out

Standout lyric: “GameCube, Xbox, PlayStation 2 / Know all about them as soon as they’re new”

OK. We don’t want to dash the dreams of a bunch of 12-year-old kids, but um, this is really bad. It’s admirable that they got together, made a band, play their own instruments and shot this video, and we won’t make fun of the lyrics too much (none of us were writing Bob Dylan songs at age 12), but the voice… the VOICE. It’s like a mechanical cat being dragged through a wood chipper. We’ll leave it at that, as the internet has probably already given these kids enough grief.

We kinda wish there was more to go on here, like another song that was newer than 2007 that displayed some sense of their growth, but that’s all there is. Did they make one batch of songs and call it quits? We signed up for the newsletter and haven’t heard a peep!

To end on a more positive note, here’s a Japanese-only Castlevania track that may or may not be cheesy. The two GR editors who speak Japanese are gone today and the internet waits for no one.

Aug 26, 2009


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57 comments

  • Manny-Faces - June 9, 2010 6:32 p.m.

    music to my ears
  • wolfgang212 - August 31, 2009 7:15 p.m.

    i want all of these as ringtones... now.
  • secretsearcher - August 29, 2009 2:59 p.m.

    OH MY GOD. I hadn't watched the last video yet when I wrote that other comment. OH MY GOD. WORST VOICE EVER. It makes me feel kind of bad for the kid though...
  • garnsr - August 29, 2009 12:35 a.m.

    Del tha Funky Homosapien has a song on Both Sides of the Brain that's all about video games, called Protoculture, that's pretty cheesy. He even mentions the Turbo Grafx at one point.
  • CH3BURASHKA - August 28, 2009 7:03 p.m.

    I still have the Killer Cuts CD, and listen to it now and then. It's awesome, and awesomely hilarious, and awesomely bad. We need a new KI. Also, there needs to be an archer character, so that when his/her moves are interrupted, the guy can say BOW-BREAKER.
  • TomMishkin - August 27, 2009 11:02 p.m.

    "I expected the zelda song by system of a down to be here" HEY C'MON! That was great. Pure fanboy stuff. Lyrics were AT LEAST on par with T.S. Eliot and Walt Whitman. AT LEAST.
  • AntistasBoneShield - August 27, 2009 9:40 p.m.

    I like Chinese Ninja Warrior. Those 12 year olds are terrible!
  • TheWebSwinger - August 27, 2009 8:32 p.m.

    I really am hooked on the Brothers, it's no laughing matter. I just need one more star, man...one more star...
  • Bobbety - August 27, 2009 6:46 p.m.

    I could perfectly picture the guys at the top of the article singing along to "King of the Koopas".
  • mastersword369 - August 27, 2009 3:22 p.m.

    What about that Mario themed country song from T-Dar 35? I know it was somewhere in the 30's, I'm pretty sure it was 35.
  • Conman93 - August 27, 2009 3:09 p.m.

    I expected the zelda song by system of a down to be here
  • SausageLozenge - August 27, 2009 10:55 a.m.

    "if you were 10 and into games, you loved this shit." You are a poet Mr. Elston.
  • Unoriginal - August 27, 2009 9:27 a.m.

    @Dameon Angell How are they still playing? I am going to wash my ears now.
  • FistfulofPelican - August 27, 2009 8:31 a.m.

    I know most of these have already been shown on the podcast, but I still find them hilarious.
  • Dameon Angell - August 27, 2009 6:05 a.m.

    YO BRETT! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVJzc-SBfM0 BLACK OUT IS BACK WITH A PUNK VENGEANCE!
  • garnsr - August 27, 2009 4:23 a.m.

    I loved Ode to a Centipede when I was a kid. That album had some great stuff, Pac Man Fever was probably my least favorite. (Mouse trap, mouse trap, cheese was the bait)
  • BlackIce575 - August 27, 2009 12:33 a.m.

    ....... that sucked
  • 5DollarFootlong - August 26, 2009 11:29 p.m.

    this article is full of win because of killer cuts and mortal kombat. this article is full of fail because of the entire 3rd page. good job brett.
  • CoD4Kamikazi - August 26, 2009 11:29 p.m.

    one of my favorite video game songs has got to be Test Your Might, freakin' awesome dance music, I really liked that The Way You Move song, that was an epic beat
  • CountFenring - August 26, 2009 11:05 p.m.

    I'm surprised no one made a song up. I'd love to listen to a song about Gabriel Knight from Charlie.

Showing 1-20 of 57 comments

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