Where is the love, asked the Black-Eyed Peas, possibly shortly after witnessing Anakin Skywalker's fumbling, metaphor-laden moves on Queen Amidala in Attack of the Clones ("I don't like sand. It gets in my toes. But you... you can get in my toes anytime, chick." Or something).
Now prequel trilogy stars Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen have topped a poll to find the least convincing lovers in the history of cinema, beating out even Arthur and Olive in Mutiny on the Buses. The list of shame was compiled by advertising kings Pearl & Dean - a moment, please, for the obligatory ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba - who counted the votes of 3000 picturehouse patrons.
Also in the top ten were Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, nominated for their chemistry-free feigning of passion in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies.