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SkeleTONS: nearly every bony bastard in the gaming universe


 

Human-sized skeletons aren’t enough for the evil bandits of Neverwinter Nights – no, theirs must be the size of buildings and hang ominously over their dark and drab entryways. That’s all well and good, but uh, do they have humans that big or did someone spend an awful lot of time constructing a fake skull and arms?


 

More Castlevania, but now with DS-powered sprite capabilities that throw wave after wave of calcium-rich combatants your way. They’re so confident in their prowess they’ve even named these particular skelleys “Frisky.”


 

This is without a doubt the most embarrassing blow to human/skeleton relations. These two were minding their own business, probably talking about bones or something, when a quartet of roided-out maniacs came stomping in and making outrageous demands. Dear god leave them alone!


 

This shot proves two things. 1) PlayStation 1 games age like shit, and 2) Chrono Cross’s designers ran out of decent ideas about 30 characters into their 45 character roster.


Hoo boy, Killer Instinct. Think Rare will bother bringing it back after a 12 year hiatus? And if so, will Spinal make the cut? These are the questions GamesRadar is brave enough to ignore.


 

Somewhere deep beneath the part of the Earth that matters lay these two boney horse monsters that crush rival raider Pierre Dupont into dust. Dead dust.


 

TimeSplitters 2 is one of the few amazing FPSs fro GameCube, so please, please check it out it if you haven’t already. Oh wait, what’s that? Last gen games age like rotten fruit smothered in vulture shit? Hm. Maybe just wait for an inevitable remake.


There, happy? Of course we wouldn’t forget Manny, perhaps the most well known dead guy among PC adventure game nerds. That’s literally dozens of people who know him on sight!

We kid, we kid. Good stuff, Shafer. Now make Brutal Legend rock.




The multiplayer-minded Quake III introduced a vast number or poorly designed and immediately forgettable avatars, including Mr. No Name up there and several other sort-of-skeletal options.


Okay... we’re not sure what this is, but it has boobs and a clearly visible rib cage. Nightmarish indeed.


In a list of out-there skeletons, the Undead Hero still manages to stand high above the rest. C’mon, he’s wearing a suit of golden armor! 

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43 comments

  • Netsurfer733 - October 30, 2009 5:07 a.m.

    Must...add...shout out...to Warlords Battlecry 1, 2, and 3! Skeleton spam ftw!!!
  • BarryNomad - October 29, 2009 4:40 p.m.

    Wait wait wait... you're telling me that the Saturn classic Mr. Bones did not get a mention?!
  • AntistaIsTheLight - October 28, 2009 2:56 a.m.

    "TimeSplitters 2 is one of the few amazing FPSs fro GameCube, so please" I havent read all the comments so someone might have noticed but i have to be the smart ass to notice...TYPO!!!
  • Mexicutioner - October 27, 2009 2:44 p.m.

    I'm surprised that Goof Troop, a game that starred both Goofy and his son Max, was not mentioned on here. There was a dual of bosses in, I think, the eighth level. The way they fought you was by them throwing a boomerang made of their own bones at you. Additionally, the Goof Troop had a fantastic soundtrack and is probably why I still even remember that damn game.
  • TKTOWA - October 27, 2009 6:27 a.m.

    Mr. Bones, the blues musician from Saturn/PS1? Oh well, it's a little obscure. But big cheers for mentioning Undead Knight from Guardian Heroes/best fighting game ever.
  • mertor3190 - October 27, 2009 12:52 a.m.

    Awesome! Halloweek. My birthday is on Halloween, this is perfect.
  • oldgrammastinkyfeet - October 26, 2009 11:39 p.m.

    What about the unlockable character in Skate (2?)
  • SandroTheMaster - November 5, 2008 3:35 a.m.

    Morrowind notwithstanding you forgot the Might and Magic series, which presented awesome skeletons from the first one to the last, including the Heroes of Might and Magic spin-off, and YOU could be a skeleton... well... the mage in your team could become a lich with awesome look... And in Heroes you had a team with Skeletons as the bulk of their forces AND skeletal dragons as a bonus, as well as skeleton Heroes with one that stands out for his personality and grim reapper look. Want a tip? Look at my name.
  • Sly_Fox - November 4, 2008 11:03 p.m.

    you guys missed morrowind
  • iggzy880 - November 3, 2008 5:48 p.m.

    I'm just happy to see Manny and the Grim Fandango crowd named
  • thebigmo1 - November 3, 2008 1:49 a.m.

  • TheWebSwinger - November 2, 2008 8:05 p.m.

    Ya know what, I read this whole book of an article, only because it probably took Brett about a month to do. ...also because it's a damn interesting read.
  • Gorlack2231 - November 2, 2008 6:52 p.m.

    a Entire page for Street Fighter. wow. Are ReDeads form Zelda Zombies or Skeletons?
  • Tikicobra - November 2, 2008 4:38 p.m.

    Medievil FTW! Probably the best PS1 game ever.
  • oreomonkey - November 2, 2008 4:37 a.m.

    wow.... that was not supposed to say that
  • oreomonkey - November 2, 2008 4:36 a.m.

    sıɥʇ ǝʞıן ǝɯosǝʍɐ ɯı ƃɯo
  • Defguru7777 - November 2, 2008 3:38 a.m.

    I love the Bowser skeleton from New Super Mario Bros.
  • Ravenbom - November 2, 2008 2:17 a.m.

    Wow! Holy complete complete list Batman! Or Brettman, if you will... And people say that Americans are just getting fatter year by year. Clearly they all have eating disorders, and are trying to make up for their inadequacies by attacking other sprites.
  • lava_lamp - November 1, 2008 2:11 p.m.

    i wish i could get my hands on a copy of grim fandango i loved pyschonauts and i want to play Shaffer's other games now. (cant wait for brutal legend)
  • ElkRider1 - November 1, 2008 1:07 p.m.

    You missed out Murray, from the Monkey Island franchise! How could you?

Showing 1-20 of 43 comments

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