SFX Spurious Awards

WARNING! This week’s Spurious Awards go to River Tam And The Fireflies, Rory’s secret past, and a VERY MILDLY SPOILERIFIC tip from True Blood

GROOVY ARTWORK OF THE WEEK
You don’t get much more spurious – or wonderful – than this. Los Angeles-based artist Joebot has created a ’60s-style LP cover (are you old enough to remember those?) for that little-known (okay, never-existed) pop combo River Tam And The Fireflies. It’s for an art show called Crazy 4 Cult, which invites artists to reinterpret cult movies. It’s utterly pointless, but just so gorram cool. Click on the link above to see the back of the album cover – with track listing – and the album label art as well. It’s outta this world, man!

THE VIZ TOP TIP OF THE WEEK
In this week’s US episode of True Blood , Eric gives Sookie some sage advice: “Fresh graves are ideal for disposing of unwanted bodies. The ground’s already disturbed, so no-one will think to dig again.” That’s one we’ll all be using.

SECRET ROCK AND ROLL PAST OF THE WEEK
Did you know that Arthur Darvill (aka Rory from Doctor Who ) used to be the singer/lead guitarist in a a new-defunct indie band? They were called Edmund, and our sources tell us they were quite good – sadly, this means we can’t use our gag about “dying repeatedly (on stage)”. Click here to watch a video of Arthur (Tom to his friends) rocking out, back in the days when he couldn't afford buttons for his shirt cuffs.

FEARLESS JOURNALISTIC SCOOP OF THE WEEK
This award goes to the young reporter who infiltrated Steven Moffat’s living room during the broadcast of “The Big Bang”, then grilled him about whether his scripts are “too clever sometimes” – the nerve! In case you hadn’t twigged already, this is The Grand Moff’s prodigiously talented son, Joshua. We’d offer him a job, but we’re scared he’d make us look rubbish.

BEYOND-OUR-MEANS REPLICA WEAPON OF THE WEEK
There are two contenders for this gong. This replica of Scaramanga’s weapon from The Man With The Golden Gun is seriously tempting. But why buy that when you can have a limited-edition-of-250 pulse rifle from Aliens instead (a snip at $899.95)? We reckon we can scrape the cash together. Who needs two kidneys, anyway?

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE WEEK
No announcement of what the Doctor Who Christmas Special will be called at the end of “The Big Bang”?Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! Not fair. Not fair. Sulk… Maybe they just can’t make up their minds whether it should be “The Daleks Of Bethlehem” or “The Daleks In Bethlehem”.

OUT-OF-SEASON NATIVITY SCENE OF THE WEEK
Okay, so the inmates of the mysterious, inescapable town in new US show Persons Unknown may be going a bit stir crazy by episode four, but quite why Charlie feels the need to do a drag act as the Virgin Mary is as yet unclear. And when is somebody going to say, “Hang on… have you ever seen The Prisoner ?”

And finally...

SLIGHTLY CREEPY HIP-HOP LOVE LETTER OF THE WEEK
Goes to Snoop Dogg, for “Oh Sookie”, a tribute to the heroine of True Blood which may well have Anna Paquin running for a restraining order. “We’ll do it in the daytime, Bill won’t know a thing”, he oozes, before suggesting she brings along her friend Tara: “I got some real Eggs for her to eat”. Yeuch . Snoop also boasts he’ll “leave a stain on your brain” at one point. Well, he’s certainly left one on ours....