SFX Spurious Awards

Man gives birth to himself, Cyberman Vs the president, superhero funerals and more

STIRRING MOMENT OF THE WEEK

The latest season of Merlin came to a blockbusting end last Saturday with one hell of en episode, packed with characters and icons from Arthurian legend. SFX especially loved the Round Table scene as all the knights pledge their allegiance; real shiver-down-the-spine stuff, Henry V-moment for Arthur. Sadly, his enlightenment as a modern-thinking monarch only goes so far. Having burbled on grandiloquently about the Round Table meaning that “everyone is equal”, he listens as all his knights, and Gaius and Gwen, commit to accompanying him in the coming battle. And then silence. One person round the table hasn’t spoken. “Merlin?” “No, I don’t really fancy it.” “You don’t have a choice, Merlin.”

MEDICAL MIRACLE OF THE WEEK

Misfit ’s Nathan gives birth to himself. (You can learn what he was really up to here .)

MOST POINTLESS WASTE OF A POLICE SKETCH ARTIST’S TIME OF THE WEEK

They could have just asked the victim to pop down to Clinton’s for an identity parade. The Christmas episode of Warehouse 13 must rate as the single most Spurious episode of anything ever, (ding dong) merrily throwing logic out of the window and embracing Christmas with a childish enthusiasm – snow and jingle bells on the credits, evil Santas, snowball fights, turkey, presents and even Artie getting a snog under the mistletoe… with Claudia’s brother. And he hadn’t just had a bit too much of the sherry. Claudia also gets a WORSE PRESENTS OF THE WEEK award for getting a buch of T-shirts made up with the artefacts that nearly killed the team printed on them. tasteful

THE HONORARY MERLIN AWARD FOR INNUENDO OF THE WEEK

Sanctuary – Will: “We’ll whip Tesla like a rented mule until he makes a breakthrough.” Magnus: “I like the whipping Telsa idea.”

SUPERHERO NAME OF THE WEEK

Sarah Walker, aka She-Male in this week’s kick-ass UK episode of Chuck . We could watch a whole series of She-Male kick-boxing her way around the world.

THE NICK SETCHFIELD WHERE’S WALLY SUBLIMINAL SEXUAL REFERENCE OF THE WEEK

Only our Nick could instantly spot a subliminal breast reference in this screen shot from Smallville … it took the rest of us a good five minutes.

FUNERAL OF THE WEEK
CollegeHumor.com turns its satirical focus to the death, life, death, life, etc of comic book superheroes…

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More Spurious Awards on the next page…

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ANGRY LEAF OF THE WEEK
Unintentional chuckle of the week was supplied by the cover for The City , the second in top geezer David Moody’s excellent five-book zombie series Autumn (out from Gollancz on 20 January, with the following three volumes scheduled for April, July and August). We can imagine the thought process behind this (“Hmm, autumn… zombies… how do we convey both those things?”), but the end result does look a teeny bit like a book about a very, very angry leaf…

IN-JOKE OF THE WEEK
At least we assume it’s an in-joke and not some kind of tragic irony. The name of the first episode of Fringe to air in its new Friday night timeslot in the US was revealed this week – “Firefly”. Yep the same name as a certain show you may have heard of, that was cancelled before its time, that used to inhabit the very same time slot on Fox.

SWIMSUIT SEQUEL OF THE WEEK
Blimey, they’re even making follow-ups to swimming costumes now. A few weeks back we showed you the R2-D2 cossie, and now the same company has created a C-3PO version . We dare you to go up to someone on the beach wearing one of these and go, “You are the droid I’m looking for.”

EXQUISITE TASTE OF THE WEEK
The Walking Dead finished its all-too-short run this week, and it looks like we won’t be seeing season two until late, late, late next year. So how are we going to get our zombie fix in the meantime? The Walking Dead ’s executive producers Robert Kirkman (who also wrote the original comics) and Gale Anne Hurd have given Entertainment Weekly a few suggestions of things to read and watch, proving themselves to be zombie connoisseurs of exquisite taste in the process. Okay, Kirkman kicks off with a bit of self-promotion (“read my comics!”) and there are some obvious candidates ( Dawn Of The Dead , 28 Weeks Later , I Am Legend * etc), but there are also a couple of surprising and canny choices – Channel 4’s brilliant Dead Set and the BBC’s Dawn Of The Ted . We actually recommended this on our Twitter feed a few months back, but hey, any excuse to give it another airing…

(* The book, not the film)

WORST WEDDING OF THE WEEK

Are you an Avatar fan? Wanna get married on Pandorica? Well, tough luck. It was fictional, you freak! But you could get married in the Chinese natural beauty spot Wu Lingyuan. Allegedly, James Cameron used the area's stunning mountain range as the inspiration for his fantasy planet's floating peaks, and now local tourist offices are cashing in on the fact, offering Avatar-themed weddings. Don’t book your tickets yet, though. Punters who’ve used the service so far are less than impressed: Bride Xiao Tsao, one of five couples recently married in a joint service, said: “The Navi were a couple of forestry workers dressed up in long underwear dyed blue wearing some very unconvincing masks. It was really pathetic.” (From Metro .)

CLASH OF THE TITANS OF THE WEEK

A Cyberman versus Franklin D Roosevelt on Peep Show (as Gerrard and Mark use emotional displacement to come to terms with the fact that Dobby* has a new boyfriend) accompanied by some quite stunning sound effects from Gerrard. “Would a Cyberman attack Roosevelt?” “It’s a Cyberman, Mark. He’s devoid of all human emotion, concerned only with the preservation of his own race. Of course he’d attack Roosevelt. Zzzzap…! Zzzzap…! Zap zap zap!”

(*Not the one from Harry Potter )