SFX Spurious Awards

Dollhouse escapee in Misfits ! Arthur goes all Anakin! Minimalist Doctor Who ! And tons more…

UNEXPECTED GUEST STAR OF THE WEEK

Victor escapes the Dollhouse and doubles as videogame Simon in Misfits .

MOST OUT OF CHARACTER MOMENT OF THE WEEK

Gold old Arthur. Virtuous Arthur. Shining knight of Camelot, moral and true. When he inherits the kingdom he won’t be random and cruel like his father, oh no, and there’ll be more tolerance of magic, won’t there? Well, maybe there’s more of his dad in him than we suspected if this “Give me the cup or I kill the druid boy!” moment is anything to go by. Next thing you know Gwen’ll be discovering a hologram of him killing all the younglings, and his journey to the Dark Side will be complete.

MOST POINTLESS USE OF A TORCH OF THE WEEK

We reckon Sanctuary’ s Magnus needs to eat more carrots… Blimey, it looks like there’s a white dwarf parked right outside that massive window. How much more light does she need?

VOMIT-INDUCING MOMENT OF THE WEEK

No Ordinary Family just keeps on giving us more reasons to hate it. Aside from a villain this week who reaches a bedroom using ver… y… slow… tel… e… kin… e… sis… to open some drawers rather than just pulling them open, and amazing flame resistant clothing (with nary a whiff of unstable molecules) it also gave us the “touching” scene… and by touching, we mean we were touching the off-switch. The sculpture on the left is Jim’s handmade anniversary gift to Steph. Literally handmade… he used his super strength to carve it from marble, apparently. It represents how they’re stronger together than they are apart. Ah sweet, Oh yeah, and yuk. Hideous, isn’t it. But it gets worse. Later, Steph and Jim fight side-by-side for the first time. They are, yes, you guessed it, stronger together than they are apart. And just in case we haven’t asphyxiated from acute metaphor-smothering yet, they clasp hands in exactly the same way as they do in the sculpture, and just to ram home the point even more, they crossfade back to the sculpture. Somebody, please, make them stop…

GOTH OF THE WEEK

He’s called Tenebrae (well, that’s what he says). He calls his bedroom his inner sanctum. He stands in front of columns that make it look like he’s wearing a big Dracula collar (though that may just be coincidence). And he totally fails to cop off with Lost Girl ’s Kenzi (who can blame her?). His biting response? “Sad now. But we shall meet again… in the eternal void.” That's probably his name for the launderette.

MORE AWARDS ON THE NEXT PAGE…

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MINIMALISM OF THE WEEK

The first six Doctors, by Alex Freeman. Click on the image for more info. And beg him to do the rest.

UNOFFICIAL POPULARITY OF THE WEEK

Hollywood Reporter this week published a list of the site’s most pirated TV show and guess which show had the dubious distinction of coming top? Chuck ! No wonder its viewing figures are so annoyingly low. Still, Subway must be delighted…

  1. Chuck
  2. Gossip Girl
  3. The Event
  4. Dexter
  5. 90210
  6. Lie To Me
  7. The Walking Dead
  8. Boardwalk Empire
  9. Lost Girl
  10. True Blood

Oh, and talking of Chuck , two members of the SFX team were distraught to learn that the absolutely brilliant version of In The Hall Of The Mountain King used in this week's episode isn’t downloadable from anywhere because it was specially remixed for the show. Maybe we should start a campaign? We need it on out iPods now!

“Dear FOX studios, get your act together. Deadpool is not Green Lantern, not a family film. DP is ‘filthy’ – think Expendables $$ w/ RR”

“Also FOX, find your balls and film the script from Rheese[sic] and Wernick. You will make loads of money and thank yourself later.”

“Dear FOX, these five will show up and slice your nutz if you screw DP up! http://twitpic.com/3c8ym2

“FOX is always worrisome to me @JStud_ Not exactly the greatest track record. DP is in their hands.”

“It boils down to this, Ryan Reynolds, Mr. Sexiest Man alive paired with best comic script ever written, no-brainer.... make Deadpool happen!”

“43 is the new 72 for me.... i just speak my mind and don't give a crap... grumpy old Liefeld.”

SUDDEN THOUGHT OF THE WEEK

Why don’t they stop making these making these movies, and spend all the money on just making a ton of trailers instead?