Fight Night | PS3, 360 | 2009
The new Fight Night: Realistically rendered real-life boxers trying to inflict serious physical harm on their opponent by repeatedly striking them about the head and body with their fists.
Fight Night | Atari 7800, C64, PC | 1986
The old Fight Night: Typically clichéd cartoon boxers trying to inflict serious physical harm on their opponent by repeatedly striking them about the head and body with their fists.
Mafia | PC | 2002
The new Mafia: A lowly Joe Schmoe down-and-out nobody squirt-stain discovers a proficiency for thuggery and subsequently finds himself propelled upwards in the dangerous world of organised crime. The action takes place against the backdrop of a huge, open-world Chicago-inspired city.
Mafia | C64 | 1986
The old Mafia: Is predictably pretty much the same in principle as the new Mafia. Graphically, though, it looks like a drying puddle of Saturday morning pavement sick.
Overlord | PC, 360 | 2007
The new Overlord: Gives you an army of multi-coloured, post-feeding-after-midnight gremlins to take control of as you stomp about the land not laughing at ESRB-rated 'crude humour' and trying your best to be a right proper evil no-good bastard.
Overlord | PC | 1990
The old Overlord: Some strategy game about space and colonies and star systems. Looks a bit boring. But we've never played it. So in all honesty that observation is based purely on the strength of us looking at a couple of screenshots. Which is a bit unfair. Although we are pretty sure it has nothing to do with evil gremlins.
Portal | PC | 2007
The new Portal: Brain-shagging manipulation of three-dimensional space. For cake.
Portal | C64, PC | 1986
The old Portal: Described as a 'computer novel'. Sounds rubbish. If we were interested in reading in 1986 we would have bought some books. Not a bloody Commodore 64. We'll take brain-shagging any day of the week thanks all the same though.
Prototype | PC, PS3, 360 | 2009
The new Prototype: Man in hood goes on rampage in Manhattan. Has to fight monsters and the military and a virus. Sounds pretty tough, but he has all this black goo stuff which lets him turn his arms into giant spikes and other things suitable for slicing enemies in half.
Proto Type | PC | 1989
The old Proto Type: For learning how to touch type.
October 9, 2009
We reveal games' secret meanings
Cringe as spell check mauls your favorite games
All longer than Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix