Rumble Roses XX review

  • Stone-cold honeys with few inhibitions
  • Looks like no other hot-bod sim out there
  • Full online support
  • Could use more girls and moves
  • No single-player story mode
  • Roses look way better than they sound

Many of us here at GamesRadar are still scratching our heads at the popularity of TV shows like "Dancing with Celebrities" and "Skating with the Stars". But we'd totally tune in for "Wrestling with Porn Stars". We can't, because it obviously doesn't exist (at least, until someone from ABC reads this), but you can pretty much play it in the form of Rumble Roses XX. If you've ever looked at a Victoria's Secret catalog or gone to Hooters and thought, "You know, this would be so much cooler if these impossibly sexy babes were beating the crap out of one another," this wrestler-turned-skinfest is your game.

This is especially true if you then added, "and would it kill them to constantly force each other into positions so compromising they would make a stripper blush?" These gals are driven by an insatiable bloodlust, and neither modesty nor a distinct lack of clothing can stop them from satiating it. Thus, if victory can only be achieved holding your opponent upside-down for several seconds, legs splayed and thong-clad booty fully on display - and apparently, that's often the case - that's what they'll do.

It's a devotion to craft rarely seen in today's world, and anyone who finds the female form stimulating will likely find a certain appeal to this attitude. However, if you're looking for a deep wrestling game full of sophisticated grappling and advanced strikes, you may want to wait for a true WWE game to appear on 360. As enticing as many of these girls' jiggling bitch-slaps and gyrating submission holds are, you'll probably find yourself wishing they each had a few more from which to choose.

Granted, all of the 10 girls - 11 if you count the unlockable "boss" character - can be a hero, a villain, or a superstar and their costumes, names, and signature moves change accordingly. But to be honest, the differences in their actual fighting styles and attacks are minimal, especially in the transition from good girl to superstar.

You do have several different types of special attack at your double-D-cupped disposal, including "H" moves designed to humiliate your opponent and the tag-team only "XX" super-moves. However, these enhanced techniques can only be used in specific instances, so they're rare. It would still be great to have a wider arsenal of regular attacks, as well as better balance and both more girls and more variation in skills and fighting "feel" from one girl to the next.

There are definitely big visual differences between babes, and there's a decent create-a-player mode in which you can tweak an existing hottie or design your own drop-kicking, arm-breaking sex object. However, once they get in the ring, it tends to all still taste like a cheesecake buffet - and as good as that is, we'd appreciate a little more variety on the menu.

On the plus side, there's a whole lingerie drawer-ful of match types, ranging from a typical one-on-one fight to more exotic fare. There are online two-on-two tag team bouts, lopsided two-on-one fights, and even "Queen" matches in which the loser has to do something degrading like withstand tickling, dance the limbo, or imitate a cat washing its face. There's even a stripped down version of a typical fighting game, which focuses much less on wrestling and much more on pummeling your shapely opponent's life bar to zero within 30 seconds or so.

Our one complaint about the game modes is that it's all about the multiplayer; the traditional, single-player story mode is missing entirely. Sure, you can still start off scrapping with scrubs and end up chick-fighting the champion, but there's no plot tying it together. You just rack up fifteen or so wins at the venue or venues of your choosing, and eventually a title match turns up. It's more free-form, yes, but it lacks a sense of progression, and actually makes us miss the outlandish plotlines of the original Rumble Roses game. Then again, more story would mean more listening to more truly awful voice-over work, so maybe this lack of a story mode a blessing in disguise.

It's much more difficult to complain about the graphics, which fall just short of perfect. You may notice little things: the arena level's too-bright lighting blurs out some details, for instance. But that's like complaining about the steering wheel cover of a Ferrari. This is still an amazing-looking hot rod that just radiates sex appeal.

In fact, that thought sums up Rumble Roses XX nicely. It looks fantastic, and it's definitely sexy, albeit in an unabashedly slutty, so-tacky-you-should-probably-feel-ashamed kind of way. If that sounds cool, take this babe out on the town tonight. Just know that she'd rather do body shots at the dance club than sip latte and talk books at the coffeehouse.

More Info

Release date: Mar 28 2006 - Xbox 360 (US)
Available Platforms: Xbox 360
Genre: Fighting
Published by: Konami
Developed by: Yuke's Media Creations
ESRB Rating:
Mature: Language, Partial Nudity, Sexual Themes, Violence
PEGI Rating:
Rating Pending

1 comment

  • skyguy343 - October 6, 2008 7:20 p.m.

    ...i'm still trying to get past "wrestling with porn stars"...

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