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RPG Emo-Off


Games: Kingdom Hearts & Tales of Vesperia

Yes, villains can be emo too, usually driven to cloak-wearing lunacy by the very thing that made them evil.  But which white-haired, effeminate megalomaniac is the most pitiable?

*Note: We’re going with “Ansem” because it would take a freaking Power Point presentation to explain why he’s not really Ansem. And by the time he drops the act in Kingdom Hearts II, he stops being emo and starts being just plain crazy.

 

 

Ansem

Above: Sora’s too young to know emo when he sees it.

Duke

Above: Insert sigh here.

The Winner: Ansem - he doesn’t sell out to the good guys’ namby-pamby feel-good assertions in the last fifteen minutes of the game.


Games: Eternal Sonata & Final Fantasy X-2

Love and the lack thereof is the number one cause of emo among JRPG twenty-somethings. Be sure to protect yourself by 1) never falling in love, 2) falling in love with someone who’s already in love with you and 3) dying before your lover does so you don’t have to stick around and be sad about it. 

 

 

 

Falsetto

Above: “Why did you have to die?!”

Shuyin

Above: “But… I couldn’t save you.”

The Winner: Shuyin – because Falsetto gets over it.

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51 comments

  • Gurkogg - May 24, 2011 4:10 a.m.

    You can be depressed and no one around you may notice it, but if you are emo you make sure everyone around you notices it (I think that may be the difference).
  • Tommykrem - July 21, 2010 6:36 p.m.

    its not it's! What is happening to me, mein führer!?
  • Tommykrem - July 21, 2010 6:35 p.m.

    Been, not bin! I don't know how German made it's way into that comment! I swear I have no connections to SS.
  • Tommykrem - July 21, 2010 6:31 p.m.

    @BlackKraken If you're emo you very clearly express your depression. Something a lot of teenagers do to get attention... And perhaps some grown-ups, though it's more common among teenagers since the depression that a lot of people get during puberty, is in stark contrast to the happy, jolly days as a child, so therefore a lot of teenagers have problems coping with their depression (isolate themselves and such), or they can't cope with the depression (suicide) or they cope with it in an alternative way (by being openly emotional = emo, or going on a killing spree) So you can be depressed without being emo. Actually I'd go as far as saying that most people who suffer from depression aren't emo. Now let's just wait for a kid to reply: "You don't understand how it is" oh, go fudge yourself. I too have bin on a killing spree and know how it is.
  • ImAliveOMG - July 20, 2010 10:31 p.m.

    Umm, I think you might not understand a good part of the definiton of emo. You have some of the basics covered but you could kind of use an update. Take a trip to Urban Dictionary
  • D0CCON - March 3, 2010 3:14 a.m.

    100 percent agree. Cloud is the opposite of Cecil, Cecil being non-annoying and mature and all of that.
  • craigkiller - October 16, 2009 6:43 p.m.

    Aw, where's he suicidal guy for Fallout 3? D= The guy from Rivet City ;_;
  • onewingedantista - October 12, 2009 5:46 p.m.

    @ jakery22: I hope ur joking.
  • onewingedantista - October 12, 2009 5:44 p.m.

    lol Genesis, so true. btw, all his cutscenes sound better in japanese, when you can't understand what he's saying. in english, it sounds so trite.
  • KHfan - October 22, 2008 7:10 p.m.

    ansems not emo he's just a lil messed up in the head go squall!
  • JTFLEX - October 18, 2008 9:28 p.m.

    squall is the winner cuz i hate him cloud is awesome
  • krunkattack - October 17, 2008 9:46 p.m.

    wow.. that's some emo stuff! Nice summaries
  • RandomSamurai13 - October 17, 2008 8:17 p.m.

    Wait, at the end the article says that a guy called Gackt wins, but I thought that was Genesis..
  • AFilthyIbis - October 17, 2008 5:41 a.m.

    Wow. somwhere in Squalls video(3:45) there's a bit that looks like mario kart!
  • EvilZeus - October 17, 2008 3:21 a.m.

    i think Squall wins the first one simply because you can see his sadness in full 3D, including the subtle tears crossing his fully animated face, whereas Cloud always looks like a happy little balloonshaped man....
  • BuggattiFreak - October 17, 2008 12:24 a.m.

    Must kill the emo's.
  • Juriasu - October 16, 2008 5:33 p.m.

    XD
  • xXgodlypunkXx - October 16, 2008 4:42 p.m.

    EMOS ROCK!! sweet emoness
  • Cybermaster - October 16, 2008 3:10 p.m.

    No Neku besides the first picture? Boo. TWEWY FTW.
  • Comatose92 - October 16, 2008 3:07 p.m.

    lol, "and the winner is... Clou-! Wait, scratch that. Genesis!" Cloud: "WTF?"

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