Four low-resolution fights on just two CDs! Prize Fighter was actually a decent idea for an FMV game, though as with many of the others, winning was mostly about memorization.  Regardless of its merits as a game, this has to have been ridiculous to shoot. Imagine bobbing, weaving, punching, and bear-hugging a camera for half-an-hour. How could you not feel like a complete ass afterword – especially since the day before you told all your friends how you were going to star in a movie. What other roles could that possibly lead to?

Oh wait, Ben Bray, who played Honeyboy in the game, actually went on to have a fairly prolific career in Hollywood stunts. And the referee was played by Gene LaBell, another big-time stuntman. Who else was in this thing? Billy D. Lucas… Arnold Schwarzenegger’s stunt double… Dick Miller… a real boxer and successful actor… Jimmy Nickerson and Manny Perry, both also successful stuntmen. Well, color me stupid.

Breakdown of embarrassment
0:00 – “I’m going to play this role like Clint Eastwood, trust me, it’ll be great.”
0:14 – In order to capture the player’s hands, someone had to crouch in front of a camera and hold his arms in the air. Somehow this realization tarnishes the whole thing.
1:34 – The ref says “what?” like he can’t remember where he is, or if he’s in a real boxing match.
1:47 – “Ok, now press your chest against the camera. Good, good.”
2:50 – Extreme close-up!

Super Wing Commander is a super obscure 3DO/Mac remake of Wing Commander. The graphics were completely redone, and the game introduced proper recorded dialog, but probably shouldn’t have.

Its talking heads were static images with blinking eyes and moving mouths - akin to the talking faces that once appeared on Late Night with Conan O’Brien (Oh Conan, that’s not actually Arnold Schwarzenegger!). The only difference is that in Super Wing Commander, they weren’t a joke.

Breakdown of embarrassment
0:38 – Oh god, that cardboard stand-up is talking!
0:46 – “So, you can do a Scottish accent, right?” “AUCH! NO PRAHBLEM!”
1:30 – Did he just fall asleep in the middle of talking?