The Useless Mentor
Examples: Duncan (Dragon Age: Origins), David Anderson (Mass Effect), Jolee Bindo (KOTOR)
The Useless Mentor embodies both experience and wisdom. Despite being a geriatric fart, this guy could easily kick your ass and still make it home in time for M*A*S*H. Sure, it would be nice if he’d accompany the team and provide sage advice on your mission/quest/romantic pursuits, but he’s just getting too old for this shit. That, or some inexplicable series of events will cause him to die before he can actually do anything profound.
The Recalcitrant Shrew
Examples: Jack (Mass Effect 2), Silk Fox (Jade Empire), Morrigan (Dragon Age: Origins)
Looking for a needlessly combative female party member? Well, look no further than the Recalcitrant Shrew. This girl produces a perpetual miasma of daddy issues; however, she also wears the least amount of clothing and is always an option for player romance. While she may second-guess every decision you make and laugh at what a pathetic simpleton you are, as sure as the sun rises in the east, she’ll eventually divulge her Big Secret as to why she’s been such an inveterate bitch the whole time.
The Kickass Robot
Examples: HK-47 (KOTOR), Legion (Mass Effect 2), Shale (Dragon Age: Origins)
You’re a stupid, pathetic sack of meat and this guy is going to frequently remind you of that. And you’ll love him for it. With every malicious insult and pretentious remark, you’ll fall more and more in love with your little Terminator buddy. On a side note, yes, we know Shale isn’t technically a robot, but she’s a freakin’ rock golem that’s powered by magic and that counts for something.
May 3, 2011
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