Chris: Let's ignore the fact that Resident Evil 4 fans have had numerous chances to pick up the game already. Let's also ignore that everything that dates RE4 - the inability to run and shoot - is the only thing that makes it adaptable to iPad. Even the port to Wii had control and graphical benefits.
Charlie: Yes, a port to Wii made sense. You could point your Wiimote and shoot instantly - intuitively - anywhere on the screen. That should be possible on the iPad, too... I should be able to tap the screen where I want to shoot. I should be lining up zombie headshots with incredible ease. Instead, I have to tap on little up, down, left and right arrows in the corner of the screen to shift Leon's aim... so what's the point?
Chris: What doesn't make sense is the antiquated gameplay on top of the antiquated graphics. I caught a wonderful glimpse of what appears to be the fist of a zombie... from the original House of the Dead circa 1996.
Charlie: Revolutionary! The muddy brown setting also isn't the best to show off the iPad's bright, crisp screen. Playing under our fluorescent office lights, however, it is the best to show off every GamesRadar employee's sweaty, overexcited thumb prints.
Chris: Well, if you're absolutely determined to pay 40 cents less than the infintely superior Wii version, by all means.
Charlie: My reaction to this was the same as my reaction to the iPhone Monkey Ball. The franchise seems absolutely, perfectly suited to a tilt-sensitive device, and yet... it just doesn't work for some reason.
The game overreacts to every movement, so that you're flying off the edge before you've even realized which direction you're supposed to be rolling. And there are plenty of edges to fly off... the developers should have created more forgiving environments for such a jumpy device. Instead this just feels like a GameCube port, only I have to keep adjusting and readjusting my television to play.
Chris: Okay, I love Monkey Ball. And although my heart soars over the idea of playing an eight year-old GameCube port, I'll let the legendary Jeff Gerstmann speak for me:
"The downside of this is that you really have to hold your Game Boy flat to play the game - which means you're hovering over your Game Boy, blocking out most overhead lighting. While it's possible to calibrate the sensor to play the game upright, it never really seems to work quite as well as when you hold your Game Boy flat."
That's from his GameSpot review of Kirby Tilt 'n' Tumble. If you substitute "Game Boy" for "iPad," it still accurately sums up my opinion on Monkey Ball for iPad, and of building your entire game platform on a novelty even Nintendo abandoned a decade ago.
Up next! We pick our favorite iPad games so far (spoiler: we still weren't that impressed.)