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Real activities that never should've become games

Deadliest Catch is actually a great show. Grizzled ocean-fearers brave some of the harshest ocean conditions in the world to bring home buckets of crawling, clawed gold – the crew members on Alaskan crab fishing boats stand to make upwards of $30K each (in just over a week, often) with some luck. Without luck, there’s a fair chance that the last thing they’ll breathe in will be a mouthful of frigid sea water.


Above: "Gameplay"

Exciting, right? So the game, Deadliest Catch: Alaskan Storm should be too… shouldn’t it? I guess if you like gathering provisions, hiring crew members, plotting courses, dropping baited traps, managing time, and looking at menus. Maybe they’ll make an add-on that includes pining for women.
 

I'm not doubting that Cesar Millan is a brilliant dog trainer. And Nintendogs sold well, right? So hey guys, oh my god, I have such a good idea... let's make a game based on Dog Whisperer! Yeah, 'cus... money, right?


Above: Calling this separation anxiety simulator a "game" is tenuous

“Is your green thumb fast enough to survive and make Granny's Garden Dreams come true?” – Promo copy for PC game Garden Dreams.

Well, is it? Can you handle these... tomatoes? Bitch? Granny don't mess around, and you best be checking that soil's PH balance, greenhorn. Oh shit, those snails better not be getting all up on Granny's leafy greens! Come on shitface, pick up those worthless thumbs of yours and start hoeing Granny's Garden with gusto!


Above: Go Granny, go!

27 comments

  • KEEPFROMFREEZIN - October 26, 2008 11:41 p.m.

    woah i think i wanted to get big rig when i was younger....=O
  • derringer83 - October 24, 2008 10:22 p.m.

    noofer7... the problem is that it plays like suck. and looks like suck. which basically means it is suck. other than that, nothing.
  • noofer7 - October 24, 2008 2:44 p.m.

    WTF was wrong with the big rigs game?!
  • GamesRadarTylerWilde - October 23, 2008 9:31 p.m.

    @MacGyver1138: Sometimes we lack sleep. Thanks for catching that.
  • lava_lamp - October 23, 2008 8:28 p.m.

    I remember when i first saw the cover for mamma can i mow the lawn, my friend and just started laughing for like 10-min. That game would be horrible but i would get it just for the laughs.
  • smileykyley - October 23, 2008 8:23 p.m.

    WOOOOOOOO! Im cancelling my preorder for fallout 3, COD WAW, and GEARS2 for Deadliest Catch!!!! No, but it's still a great show!
  • Xplosive59 - October 23, 2008 5:27 p.m.

    seriously these kinda games dont even deserve to even be in the bargain bin more like the sub-bargain bin
  • Juriasu - October 23, 2008 4:52 p.m.

    Hilarious, as always, to see Big Rigs!
  • MacGyver1138 - October 23, 2008 4:22 p.m.

    In the description of the Deadliest Catch game, I think you meant to type "frigid," rather than frigged. Unless you were using that in place of the dreaded "F" word. In which case, nevermind. I always wondered why so many games like this exist. I would rather stare at the wall than play any of these.
  • sage62 - October 23, 2008 2:42 a.m.

    kicking222: a better name for curling is "extreme sweeping on ice" and is indeed a very boring sport as most non-old people would agree, in regards to the feature, I totally agree on all of these things
  • Z-man427 - October 23, 2008 2:03 a.m.

    "Sorry cycling fans, but your sport is boring unless you're the one riding the damn bike." once again, Tyler finds a way to say what we all think anytime we hear Lance Armstrong or Ball Cancer
  • kicking222 - October 22, 2008 11:58 p.m.

    Curling is amazing. Do NOT dis curling, GamesRadar. And no, I'm not joking.
  • benjitenji - October 22, 2008 7:35 p.m.

    its my first first, so anyway, i have 2 things to add to this list, 1. poopin 2.car repair.
  • MW3M - October 26, 2008 6:50 p.m.

    Curling is phenemonal sport when your under the influence...
  • CandiedJester - October 25, 2008 3:02 a.m.

    Well those all look incredibally bland. Who comes up with these ideas anyway? Except for the gardening one. I'd totally kick that snails ass.
  • oreomonkey - October 24, 2008 10:27 p.m.

    forget call of duty im going to the store and getting big rigs and when they tell me it cost $10 im saying no way this game is so great that im going to just give $60 just becuz of the amazazinging quality
  • RaIdEn - October 23, 2008 11:16 p.m.

    Come on Nintendo get your head in the game! Fishing? Are you FREAKIN' kidding me?
  • georgeguy - October 23, 2008 10:53 p.m.

    look up "crap" n the dictionary and you will find a picture of these games nice artical GR
  • jamboy199three - October 23, 2008 6:33 p.m.

    btw i was joking
  • jamboy199three - October 23, 2008 6:33 p.m.

    Mamma Can I Mow the Lawn sounds quality i was gonna get far cry 2 but now im getting this

Showing 1-20 of 27 comments

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