PSP Features

When I decided to join the editorial staff at GamesRadar, I knew there would be challenges. As a diabetic horse who loves sugar cubes and games, I’ve grown accustomed to the slings and arrows my kind must suffer through. Simple tasks, like catching the train to work, are a daily struggle. Why just the other day, I was questioned by a police officer who wanted to take me in for disturbing the peace and horsing around.

Admittedly, “SHARK!” certainly makes for a compelling headline (see above). For the most part, humanity recognizes the authority these bloodthirsty badasses hold over 2/3rds of the globe, and uses their name sparingly and only when necessary.

We were in Los Angeles over the weekend to play DiRT 2 multiplayer and watch rally car racing at the X-Games. See, told you this article was connected to videogames! We’re not allowed to make any qualitative statements regarding DiRT 2 until Friday, but we figured you’d want to see these photos right away. Were we right?

Before man invented fire and before dinosaurs roamed the land, sharks ruled our oceans. With no remorse and no mercy, these cold blooded killers have been commanding their aquatic kingdom with an iron dorsal fin, feeding on the weak, and growing stronger in preparation for their inevitable assault against all bi-pedal land-based mammals.

Game cheats have spawned an entire industry of their own. It began in the back pages of magazines, then in full cheat books, and finally settled on the internet, where sharing cheats is as established as sharing ultra-niche Bolivian porn. Just ask our tireless CheatPlanet editor, Paul Ryan, and he’ll probably tell you, “Yeah, cheats. People like those.”

Generally, the first rule when it comes to rescuing hostages is ‘don’t let everybody get horribly done in.’ But sadly, this proves too much of a stumbling block for many game heroes. Be it accidentally killing geriatrics with a killer virus or letting the damsel in distress get crushed by a cow, the following rescue missions all get botched. Spectacularly.

Animated gifs, popular among forum trolls and AOL moms alike, pack a massive punch into a few short frames. Sometimes enterprising net dweebs painstakingly add videogame sprites for bonus lulz, and after seeing a few of these in the wild we decided to try our hand at it.

Everyone remembers the names of the great… the games that sold, inspired or won over millions. We still recall them with nostalgia and discuss them with reverence. But what about the opposite extreme? What about the worst of the very worst? Shouldn’t their names be equally famous, if only so that we may study their sins and promise never to repeat them?

Pointless crap you do that PR suits love you for.