Why the Goomba should win: Goombas are masters of the horizontal fighting style. They move effortlessly in either direction (usually towards a Mario). Any slime that gets in the way will be flattened into a blue pancake and left shamefully defeated to eventually be devoured by roadkill-loving animals or rednecks.

Why the slime should win: A bubbly, bouncing ball of blue goo! Err… what was the question?

Verdict: For the final we decided to host an actual battle to decide once and for all, who is less of a defenseless, lily-livered, brittle little baby. An hour before the final battle was to take place (in space), the two fighters were resting, making peace with their lives and attempting to fashion astronaut suits from the materials found in their hotel rooms. Neither tiny warrior was seen leaving their room. When the attendants arrived to tell them it was time to enter their spaceships, this is what they found:

A note was found next to the slime's melted body:

And this is a photograph of what was found in the Goomba's room:

Oct 21, 2008