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A bad game port is just like an ageing beauty queen. Sure, you can tell she was kinda hot before the ravages of age crushed her looks and her spirit, but those qualities are pretty hard to see under all the cosmetic surgery and cheap mascara. The words we just done typed also relate to games… eh, just replace the reconstructive surgery with crippling slow down or terrifyingly bad pop-up. Just like the aforementioned imaginary GILF, these games were all once great. Well, until the botched facelift/half-assed ports.
Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and prepare to be shocked and amazed by the world’s first and only haunted internet page that is also about videogames. The amazing images inside were created by the ghost that haunts this web site. This evil spectre has infused these images with paranormal properties to show its displeasure with the world of the living. If you are faint of heart or easily susceptible to vomiting, paranoia, or giddiness, read no further and navigate your web browser away from this page right now.
Here’s a new line of Hatewear for you to try on. We’ll trot out a beloved sacred cow franchise and give you five simple reasons why it may not be the hippo’s nipples after all. We’ll be here all week, making lists of things to hate about the things you like. Will we pick on your favorite franchise? Check back tomorrow. Until then, see what’s not to like about Half-Life.
Pac-Man and Mario owned the 1980s. Sonic, Lara and Snake took over for the 1990s. Their games are considered classics. Their names are timeless and iconic. Their images are burned into the memory of every gamer, even those who were born after the characters themselves.
Now we have another ten years worth of heroes, villains, sidekicks and love interests to occupy our imagination. Which, however, will remain there?
Now that the veneer of freshness is drying off of our copies of Modern Warfare 2, we can fully devote ourselves to complaining about the lack of dedicated servers, and just how much the maps suck because our piss poor ranking certainly isn’t due to a lack of practice and the statistical disadvantage of playing against millions of people, no! Which got us thinking: What multiplayer maps reign over all others?
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Like comic books and movies, videogames tend to present an exaggerated representation of men and women. Dudes are typically muscle-bound meatheads with powerful jaw lines and a thorough understanding of all forms of combat, while women generally have back-breaking chests and dress like strippers regardless of their profession.
TalkRadar 6 - 100% more Scottish than last week's edition
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On call in this nerdy cast:
The Top 7… Evil Corporations – all those lovely companies that have taken so much from us while giving so little.
Nintendo: Banned in the USA - Nudity, Nazis and the podcast will contain some EXCLUSIVE Child Abuse!
300 Blu-rays
Comic-Con
and much more!
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When talking about the idea of videogames as art, it’s become increasingly popular to lament that the medium doesn’t yet have its “Citizen Kane.” Seemingly everyone, from industry luminary Ian Bogost to film director Guillermo del Toro, has sounded off about how games either need, don’t need, or will soon receive the masterpiece that will force the medium to “grow up” and be accepted as an art form by the mainstream.
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Ever wondered what it would be like to have video game characters in your Pokemon party? Why choose boring old Bulbasaur when you can choose a beautiful Kasumi? Or a level 50 Sackboy?
We've given 21 game characters the Pokemon treatment, with four moves to choose from and some evolutionary states too.
Who would you choose?
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