Street Fighter IV

Is this the dullest Street Fighter character ever?

Fresh face Abel joins in with the next-gen fisticuffs. We yawn

First, don't forget that we love Street Fighter. It is, in our opinion, the most important beat-'em-up ever made. So imagine our despair in welcoming walking tower of prosaic banality, Abel, the newest challenger to join the ranks of Street Fighter IV.

We've had, what, a million Street Fighter games since the classic co-op first struck fighting gold in the late 80's. Capcom have brought us a bulging roster of outlandish (Vega, Blanka), aspirational (Ryu, Ken), sexy (Chun-Li, Cammy) and plain brilliant (Dhalsim, Bison) characters. But new guy Abel is the most uninspired SF character we've ever seen.

First, his appearance. Stupid hair. Dumb, balloon face. Nondescript gloves/gi/barefeet outfit. From here, it just gets duller. Let's go through Abel's official backstory, shall we?

"A Man With No Past. Abel.

"With no memory of his past, this young man has no choice but to move forward.

"His serious and polite nature is easy to misinterpret as indifference, but these still waters run deep indeed."

Come on Capcom! You've got a world of ideas to meld and mould into some exciting new characters. Give us a transvestite Mexican wrestler named Dave! A midget-sized kung fu master with Yoda-esque leaping ability! A female private detective dressed in a trenchcoat who fights with her bare dukes using mid-1920s Queensbury rules and packs a six-shooter at her hip for specials! Anything but this slab of boring white meat!

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The Knowledge
Street Fighter IV

Genre: Fighting
Expected release date: TBA
Published by: Capcom
Franchise: Street Fighter
Multiplayer Modes:
Offline
2 player VS
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