Pro Evolution Soccer 2009

We play a lot of PES. Hell, with the amount of man hours we’ve wasted playing it at lunchtime we’re pretty sure we could have cured world hunger, cracked the credit crunch and figured out how ro fix the game’s wretched, pan-handed keepers. During that time we’ve scored a shedload of goals and clogged up a lot of space on our hard-drives by never once watching them again.

But with the new Premier League

Ah, noobs. With their awkward fingers and stupid questions, it's a wonder we ever let them near our joypads at all. It's nice to get someone started in gaming, but it's so hard to witness utter incompetence at your favourite games.

But instead of yelling, snatching the pad and showing them how it should be done, why not sit back, make encouraging noises and tick off each entry in our list of classic rookie mistakes

Why can’t some people just call a spade a spade? Or, in the case of video games, call a health pack a health pack, instead of a multi-purpose, cosmic healitron 3000. We’re sick of developers trying to give their games extra context or dimension by pasting unnecessary and sometimes baffling terminology onto simple, every day game actions or objects. It’s convoluted, embarrassing and totally comically. Below are some of the

It can strike at anytime without warning. It can take many forms. Someone you know, even a loved one, could be afflicted with it as you read this very sentence. That’s right, ‘gamer rage’ can strike anyone at any moment. From platform fans to beat ‘em up enthusiasts, no one is safe.

The following games all contain dangerous levels of gamer rage-baiting moments. Want to avoid a stroke, heart attack or assault

While game content, design and technology constantly change year after year so does game packaging and design. This interests us. So we've taken 10 major game series and visually charted their logos' progression to see how they've evolved.

Barack Obama. The most important politician in a generation. A peerless orator. Winner of a historic election. And exceedingly effin hard to recreate in every create a character mode we could find. You’d think the current leader of the free world’s unassuming features would be easy to make with the plethora of chin, forehead and septum sliders most games now have. Wrong.

Not only did we fail to craft convincing Obamas, we