Pro Evolution Soccer 2008

A bad game port is just like an ageing beauty queen. Sure, you can tell she was kinda hot before the ravages of age crushed her looks and her spirit, but those qualities are pretty hard to see under all the cosmetic surgery and cheap mascara. The words we just done typed also relate to games… eh, just replace the reconstructive surgery with crippling slow down or terrifyingly bad pop-up. Just like the aforementioned imaginary GILF, these games were all once great. Well, until the botched facelift/half-assed ports.

Resident Evil 5Light and Dark mechanics

What they promised

Prior to the game’s release, Jun Takeuchi, the producer behind Resi 5, promised heat and lighting effects that would genuinely have an impact on gameplay, in turn, distinguishing it from the illustrious fourth game. He hinted when Chris stepped out into sun-kissed areas from dark buildings the screen would blur, as his eyes adjusted to the change in light. Capcom

The infamous Madden Curse has been crippling EA's cover stars consistently since John Madden himself stopped appearing on them. Call it coincidence, call it an ancient ju-ju; whatever it is, the evidence of stifling a career is in full swing. Don't believe us? Then check out the poor saps below and then tell us it's all BS. Oh, and for all you non-American Football fans, we've even dug a little deeper into other game franchises and picked out some beauties. What have we missed? Let us know in the comments. Enjoy...

Nov 29, 2007 “We never wanted to release PES 2008 in this state on PS3,” admits Seabass, “In fact, we thought about delaying it but different factors meant we had to [release it].” We caught up with the legendary creator of the Pro Evolution Soccer series at Konamis annual PES event in Seville, where he was defending his game from disappointed European journalists. “Its so far away from what we wanted,” he confesses, “As a developer, weve worked the