Instead, you’re usually dropped into a scenario with only a black screen and Kane & Lynch’s voices to shuffle the story along, and then expected to shoot your way from A to B without so much as a motive. The narrative should have been much stronger to give you a reason to take on the tasks, but it’s dreadful and leaves you wondering exactly how you’ve ended up in Japan or in a South American civil war. We won’t spoil it, but don’t expect any loose ends to be tied up at the conclusion either.
Kane & Lynch also looks as ropey as it plays. Bland textures make up most of the world. It’s lazy, and not what we’ve come to expect from PS3 games. Even the Collateral-inspired club scene - the one that got us all excited about Kane & Lynch in the first place - is bitterly disappointing. At a glance it looks amazing: loads of people are having a little dance as you casually barge through them, but on closer inspection you can see that they don’t look particularly good on the dance floor. There are about four different character models - all wearing black and all dancing in the same way - so the illusion is shattered as you stand near the bar wondering whether to unload some shots and make them scatter or quietly slip past. Considering Hitman Blood Money delivered a hectic and beautiful New Orleans’ Mardis Gras on PS2 that contained hundreds of people, Kane & Lynch should have looked much better. Even locking to cover is too difficult - when you stand near a wall, your character is supposed to quickly press against it, but the procedure takes too long and, because you can’t cling to cover while moving, you’ll often find yourself stepping away and into a barrage of gunfire.