Last month, we selected the seven best games of the year (so far) and, although only halfway through 2011, the competition was already intense. Many outstanding titles had to be cut and many editors’ feelings had to be hurt.
But that was the easy part. Now comes the true torture – the week in which I reluctantly delve into the dank, dark sewer that is the bottom of Metacritic’s review rankings to bring you the extreme opposite end of the spectrum. For every Portal, there’s a Party Megamix. For every Zelda, a Thor. These are their shameful stories...
Being the internet connoisseurs that we are, we stumbled upon a highly amusing article that pondered the deadly serious question of what superheroes would do if they were assholes. After we’d successfully boarded the roflcopter, we knocked up our own version starring game heroes abusing their skills. So if you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Solid Snake used his powers of super sneakery for evil, you’ve come to the right place…
Like comic books and movies, videogames tend to present an exaggerated representation of men and women. Dudes are typically muscle-bound meatheads with powerful jaw lines and a thorough understanding of all forms of combat, while women generally have back-breaking chests and dress like strippers regardless of their profession.
Scope dis: Videogames and hip hop “came up” together. Both art forms hail from the late 70’s. Both struggled for mainstream acceptance throughout the 80’s. Both achieved success in the 90’s, to finally become the staple of pop culture we now enjoy every day. Given their synchronistic upbringing it’s no surprise that we’ve seen more than a little overlap.
To celebrate Independence Day (the holiday, not the movie), we’ve scoured our encyclopedic minds for the most patriotic games to be developed. But that wasn’t funny enough. So, we dug deeper to find the most rabidly patriotic games every developed. Ya know - the ones with so much love for Old Glory that it starts to get a little ridiculous. Behold - our results!
America's ArmyUS Army | 2002Any game can add the word
Numbers. Man, there must be millions of ‘em. Seems like every other game on the shelf has a number in it. Boy, I bet you could count to a hundred using just videogame titles and related items. Let’s see if I’m right.
Sequels are sure to be the focus of this year's E3, and we couldn't be more excited. But what about the neglected games and franchises that deserve another entry? Unlikely though they may be, if these sequels were miraculously announced this week, we'd thank our lucky stars...
Some games are upfront about their morally dubious nature, but others pretend to be innocent while hiding their corrupting content inside sinister subtext. Join us as we blow the lid on that whole den of depravity.
Considering all the attention being directed toward huge, marquee juggernauts like Uncharted 2, Modern Warfare 2, and Beatles: Rock Band, you’d think they were the only games at E3. Not true. Sure, those look fantastic, but we also saw piles and piles of great games that nobody is talking about. Nobody but us, that is.
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