Burnout Paradise

Game needing a sequel: Zombies Ate My Neighbors

Original game format: SNES/Mega Drive

Why it needs a sequel: More like “Why is needs a proper sequel”. Zombies Ate My Neighbors was a brilliant little top-down shooter, dripping with a twisted sense of humour that stemmed from a deep-felt love for schlocky horror movies. It had a screwed-up, ‘50s kitsch atmosphere all of its own, genuinely unique production design, a sublime B-movie soundtrack, and a level where you had to fight a 50 foot killer baby with a rocket launcher. In short, Zombies was bloody brilliant. So good that it even gets referenced in Shaun Of The Dead.

Unfortunately, when the sequel, Ghoul Patrol, arrived, it turned out to be a castrated, soulless mess. Gone were the movie references. Gone was the atmopshere. Instead we got a big pile of generic monster shooting and a complete lack of creatures from the black lagoon and giant ants. We were ensaddened. Zombies Are Still Eating My Neighbors (You can have that title for free) would find a perfect home in Xbox Live Arcade, and its appearance would put right a mighty gaming injustice that we still haven’t forgiven. Lucasarts, get to it, and we promise we’ll stop banging on about Monkey Island on the DS.

What we want from a sequel: We want a genuine follow up to the original, packed with the insane retro-horror styling that can only come from a genuine affection for the genre. We want detailed 3D monster models using the same lunatic art style. We want crazier weapons (The original let us mulch zombies with a garden strimmer, but let’s go even sillier). We want bigger levels and more epic boss fights (Bring back the baby and give us a giant kitten of death!). We want vehicles to mess around in (A golf buggy with a cannon please). And to really perfect it all, we want a whole bunch of online game options including co-op, a victim-rescuing Vs. mode, and a huge, multiplayer, humans against monsters free for all. But keep it top down. Present it any other way and we’ll be upset.