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The Top 7… worst games in great games

Because playing bad games in good games breaks our brain

Words: Tyler Nagata, GamesRadar US

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The game: Fable II
The in-game games: Fortune’s Tower, Keystone, Spinnerbox

We’ve worked our way through some truly awful games in games. But those games were free and easy to forgive since everything else was gravy. On the other hand, Fable II’s Pub Games are the only half-assed games this list that someone had the gall to try selling. For 800 Microsoft Points, which is about $10.00 or £6.80, you could download Fable II: Pub Games and play three casino-style games to earn some gold before Fable II released. The package included Fortune’s Tower (a pyramid card game), Keystone (Fable’s take on roulette and craps), and Spinnerbox (a random slot game).

Above: We’d rather play Free Cell

Above: We’d rather download a random number generator

Above: We’d rather shoot ourselves in the face

Like the most casino-style games, Fable II’s Pub Games have a lot of obstacles to overcome right off the bat. First off, casino-style videogames suck. Casino-style games should be enjoyed in actual casinos. You know, those places where you can get free drinks, smoke indoors, and watch senior citizens gamble the last of their social security savings away. They’re also frustrating and often make you feel like the game’s “random” rolls are favoring your AI opponents. But really, our main gripe with Fable II’s pub games has to do with the principle of the matter. You don’t rip off your most faithful fans by selling the second-rate games that’ll come with the boxed copy of Fable II. And if you do, you don’t charge a whopping 800 points for them.

Good movie: Star Wars
Game: Dejarik

We love the Star Wars universe, but the first film hosts an imaginary game of questionable quality. The Millennium Falcon may have made the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs, but all Han’s got to offer his crew for entertainment during their downtime is a fuzzy FMV version of Battle Chess. What’s a Wookie to do?

Above: Chewbacca pits his wits against R2-D2, spawning volumes of dejarik-related fan fiction

Feb 16, 2009

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80 Comments

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sgblearners - 1 year 1 month ago

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sgblearners - 1 year 1 month ago

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cronoman66 - 1 year 1 month ago

I thought the blitzball games were brilliant! You could choose team members, moves, and actually alot of fun
Then X-2 went and ruined it by turning it into a Football Manager style game, blegh, other than that I completely agree with this list

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NelosAngelos - 1 year 1 month ago

Fucking hated Blitzball, hated all the arcade games in GTA too. Just plain hate minigames, cuz they never really give you anything worth your time. RE4's shooting gallery, you win some figurines that say the same line over and over again, WHOOPIE!!!!!!

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WonsAuto - 1 year 1 month ago

I was expecting to see Cub3d from GTA IV, I hated that goddamn game and that I had to set a high score to reach 100%.

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iluvmyDS - 1 year 1 month ago

Gah blitzball. -groan-

Oh and that's C3PO not R2D2 good sir.

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heartskuppy - 1 year 1 month ago

i thought cub3d was actually a pretty decent little puzzle game, not that it wasn't annoying having to get the high score.

felt for sure that card game from FF8 would be on the list. (can't remember what it's called)

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Corsair89 - 1 year 1 month ago

I thought of all the terrible carnival games in Bully.

Oh God, I hated blitzball for three reasons; reason 1: everything GR mentioned already. reason 2: the horribily ugly clothes that Tidus wears throughout the entire game is his Blitzball outfit. reason 3: We first meet Seymour, the least intimidating and worst Final Fantasy villian ever, at the Blitzball tournament

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Corsair89 - 1 year 1 month ago

@iluvmyDS: C3PO isn't playing against Chewbacca, he is just watching and giving advice to R2D2, who is playing but isn't in the snapshot above. Remember when 3PO told R2 to "let the wookie win"?

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Unoriginal - 1 year 1 month ago

Great List
I acctually quite enjoyed Pazaak in KOTOR a lot. Sometimes I would just play it for hours becouse i was only gonna try "one more time."

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skyguy343 - 1 year 1 month ago

i thought han solo told r2 to let the wookie win?

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KillDrone - 1 year 1 month ago

Lol, star wars debate in the gamesradar comments.

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Z-man427 - 1 year 1 month ago

I'm not one to pick, but that screen cap from KotOR, did not look like anything from the original KotOR.

and the Ewoks lived on Endor, not Kashyyyk. that was the Wookiee homeworld. and you call yourselves nerds

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LordRevan111 - 1 year 1 month ago

Speaking of which, useless Star Wars trivia, Boba Fett didnt actually die, he crawled out, just wanted to throw that out there. . .

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MrSegraves - 1 year 1 month ago

Actually, the Ewoks won on the forest moon of Endor, not Kashyyyk. That'd be the Wookie planet, boys.

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CountFenring - 1 year 1 month ago

They should of had more Pazaak in KotOR, course I also liked the b-ball thing in Dead Space so there.

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MacGyver1138 - 1 year 1 month ago

To continue the Star Wars debate, it was definitely C-3P0. After Han says that people aren't worried about upsetting droids because, "droids don't pull people's arms outta their sockets when they lose," Threepio says to R2, "I propose a new strategy: Let the Wookie win."

This was a good list. I always thought that the extra minigames in games often suck. I hated the games in Bully, especially that damned Consumo that you had to get the high score in to get on the nerds' good sides.

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