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The Top 7... Fictional Presidents

The all time greatest Kings of Democracy

Words: Chris Antista, GamesRadar US


CAMPAIGN PROMISES
- President Richardson promises not to min-max his strength, nor charisma
- President Richardson is willing to die without a fight
- President Richardson’s voice actor pleads no contest to all charges

EXCELLENCE IN LEADERSHIP
You could call President Dick Richardson a prop president, a perpetuator of post-apocalyptic genocide, or even Dick Dickerson if you’re feeling hilarious. But at least he was a man who could get things done! And that’s how history would’ve remembered him... if all records of his presidency hadn’t been destroyed along with the Enclave’s oilrig at the end of Fallout 2.

So, before you liberal elites go apeshit over our defense of this genetic bigot, know this: He’s generous with information, and he’s easy to kill. He spills the beans about the Enclave’s plans for genetic supremacy faster than a Wall Street executive on minor charges of coke possession, all the while making absolutely no effort to save himself.


Above: Squint and you can see the President getting sawed in half

If this weren’t enough incentive to turn any one of us into an assassin, even if you didn’t want to self-impeach President Richardson (with any one of Fallout’s many methods of murderous disposal) you’d be neglecting the Presidential Access Card you received for killing him that let you turn gun turrets on their former masters. Make’s John Hinkely’s reasoning seem kinda ridiculous, no?

Taft’s Trivia: Fallout 3’s resident President is voiced by Malcolm McDowell. But did you know Fallout 2’s president was voiced by Jeffery Jones? Famous for, among other things, getting his cheese left out in the wind by Ferris Bueller and child pornography.


Above: “Call me sir, goddammit!”

 


CAMPAIGN PROMISES
- President Solidus believes there is a limit to The Patriots power
- President Solidus may elect to modify his genetics
- President Solidus believes giant metal robots will keep this country safeish

EXCELLENCE IN LEADERSHIP
The fact that no one can remember exactly how Solidus rose to the highest office is a testament to his political dynamism. You can be sure of one thing: However he got himself elected (and re-elected, under the innocuous name of George Sears), you know it was through dirty pool. And we’re not talking “Karl Rove dirty” - this sadistic tyrant’s idea of a “Bent Chad” is a male pollster with his spine folded in half.  (That reference is eight years old!)

Following in the footsteps of many other Presidents, Solidus executed the Shadow Moses Incident, founded counterterrorist/terrorist Dead Cell, and had relations with no more than four Whitehouse interns. Ironically it was rebelling against “The Patriots” that forced him to resign from office, which does look like a career-ender when taken out of context.

For the sake of brevity, we’ll skip over his embarrassing defeat by an albino woman and his stolen corpse. Just know he eventually sprouted tentacles, alliances were betrayed, feelings were hurt and there was much spying had by all! Refer to our Metal Gear Timeline below for somehow less info.


Above: Totally accurate

What is known is that the man’s big on family. Thanks to some outlandishly ethical cloning Solidus is not only genetically kindred to Solid and Liquid Snake, he’s also a twin brother/son/dad to Big Boss, and simultaneously became adoptive father to she-male Raiden after he murdered his parents. How’s that for bi-partisan?!

Taft’s Trivia: Solidus was sworn in as Prezzie in his late 20’s, well under the minimum age requirement of 35! A nation failed to notice thanks to an accelerated-aging gene and a belly full of razzmatazz.


 
28 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Elbo444  - 1 year 7 days ago 
FIRST!! awesome article, Fallout 2 ftw
chrisat928  - 1 year 7 days ago 
I want to run for president and my platform would be banning douchebags that write 'FIRST!' in their messages.
CuddlyBomber  - 1 year 7 days ago 
Ah man I loled. Thats good shit Chris.
Z-man427  - 1 year 7 days ago 
game presidents make Bush look like a very competent leader.
mikeo1229  - 1 year 7 days ago 
The Ackerman stuff was great.
"the Future is coming with armoured Kodiak bears, attack blimps, and enough weaponized robots to turn hope into a four letter word!"
GwaR  - 1 year 7 days ago 
The Bad Dudes and the Metal Gears pieces had me rolling. If only everything could be as cool as it was during the Double Dragon clone days. Well done.
metroid2099400  - 1 year 7 days ago 
I'd have to dissagree with some of the Halo comment. I've only played the first one, but there are clearly australian voices for some of the NPCs. otherwise a great article!!
Cwf2008  - 1 year 7 days ago 
Haha loved the first paragraph. I always knew GamesRadar had a sense of humor, but that joke about George W. Bush being a good president was the best joke i heard today.
rockingamer247  - 1 year 7 days ago 
Hey!! What happened to President Harling from Ace Combat 5. That guy actually knew a thing or two about runnin a country
SpartanBannana  - 1 year 7 days ago 
You should have included *Nasally voice* John Henry Eden
skyguy343  - 1 year 7 days ago 
i cant quite remember the prez from destroy all humans but he at least deserves honourable mention, i think
mirthor  - 1 year 7 days ago 
dudes metal wolf chaos is the best game evar! any president with a mech who hates his vice pres gets my vote!
bron1417  - 1 year 7 days ago 
awesome article man.
Infinitybla  - 1 year 6 days ago 
I totally agree with number one, and Sam's as well.
Diamondis  - 1 year 6 days ago 
Is it just me, or does Big Boss look like the floating head from the old Gamesmaster TV show on channel 4? lol
Kerfluffle  - 1 year 6 days ago 
The President in Destroy All Humans! is President Huffman you kill/disintegrate him near the end of the game and then impersonate him as president.

It does deserve an honorable mention.
FancyRat  - 1 year 6 days ago 
I'd vote for you, chrisat928.
georgeguy  - 1 year 6 days ago 
wow nice artial GR

and the prez for dah deserves a mention...
misfit119  - 1 year 6 days ago 
It's amazing that people think that firsting makes them cool or something. It takes a special sort of something to make an internet poster seem even lamer than normal but these firsters have definitely found it.

And I remember President Ronnie in Bad Dudes, that was awesome.
KHS_Kid  - 1 year 6 days ago 
What about president eden from fallout 3
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