God of War: The story so far

Obscenely complicated, punctuated by flashbacks and packing more cameos than an episode of Extras, God of War is a soap opera saga worthy of any Greek legend. With God of War III’s release date almost upon us, we reckoned a bit of a catch-up was in order when it came to the ins and outs (and we’re not talking about the QTE shagging here) of Kratos’ eventful past...

A couple of caveats, though. Firstly, we’re going to disregard the reveals in God of War’s ‘secret’ extra feature as they aren’t strictly canon and kind of ruin the big surprise at the corking climax of God of War 2. Secondly, this whole piece is obviously oozing spoilers from every pore, so if you haven’t finished all the God of War games KEEP FAR AWAY!

God of War: The story so far

Long before he was the champion (and then bane) of the gods of Olympus, Kratos kicked off his career in blood-letting as a formidable, bloodthirsty captain in the Spartan ranks. Drunk with power, our man rapes and pillages his way across the continents...

Back at home though, the dainty Mrs. Kratos (complete with cute sprog) has a tight leash on her man – accusinghim of being an egomaniac whose ‘desire for conquest knows no bounds’. She ain’t wrong, either.

One day though, the arrogant Kratos finds his army outmatched by a mob of beardy barbarians. It’s a massacre, and – about to find himself on the receiving end of a warhammer to the chops from the Barbarian King – a desperate Kratos yells out to Ares (reigning God of War) for redemption.

The barbars splattered, our man – who’s just gone and sold his soul to Liam Neeson lookalike Ares – is reborn as the God of War’s lapdog, complete with his gore-a-licious Blades of Chaos (forged in the foulest depths of Hades, no less.) Let the bloodletting begin!

Now a puppet of the ginger tyrant, Kratos – who wasn’t exactly a saint in the first place – goes totally batshit in the name of Ares, a near-invincible nutter leading his loathsome legions on a path of carnage across the globe. Until baldie makes the fatal mistake of ignoring the local village oracle and messing with one of Athena’s temples...

...and ends up mistakenly butchering his missus and kid. D'oh. Stung by the realisation he’s been tricked by naughty Ares, Kratos resolves to murder the lord of murder himself... but not before he’s been stained white with the ashes of his dead wife and bairn. Hence that badass ‘Ghost of Sparta’ nickname.

Now paler than a geek in winter and utterly grief-stricken, Kratos is haunted by constant nightmares of his family’s slaughter. However, the slimy gods of Mount Olympus offer him redemption for his naughty deeds – in return for a decade of hard labour-style servitude. This is where PSP’s Chains of Olympus goes and barges in.

Next: Shit's about to get mythological...