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Heavy Rain: The Origami Killer


GamesRadar's predictions for gaming in 2009

Guaranteed 100% accurate unless wrong

Words: GamesRadar UK

So, 2008 then. Pretty good year, no? Bit of a shame it's over of course, but don't fret too much. After all, the best thing about the outgoing of one year is that you get to do it all over again with the start of the next one.

But what can we expect from 2009? Well technically we can expect anything we want, but wild baseless guesswork will usually end in disappointment (we still haven't got over the lack of a flamenco space-tomato invasion in 1997). So instead, take a leaf through our cast-iron, guaranteed guesswork and check out the events we think we'll all be celebrating and cursing over the next 12 months.

Something will happen to Home

It will go one of two ways:

a) The positive spin...

Above: Home - should it all go well

- Home will steadlily gain loads of desirable exclusive content and Facebook-style minigames, making it worthwhile (and fun) to walk the virtual streets.
- In June a sex pest task force is instituted naming and shaming perverts. Public lynchings are organized (after a short pause for loading).
- Men will stop living out bizarre masturbatory fantasies about chatting up men by pretending to be sexy girls.
- In November a new patch will enable Toprock moves for the running man dance.
- It will all be okay.

b) The negative spin...

Above: Home - should it all go tits up

- Sony carry on half-heartedly supporting it with Resistance 2 wallpaper downloads (for a small micro-transaction) and LBP horse armour.
- Because no-one is really using it publishers don't see the value in supporting it.
- A vicious circle is entered into.
- In March a naked lady patch is relased and everyone still using Home selects it as their avatar.
- By October tumbleweed with real physics is made available in the store.
- In November, everything goes a bit UMD.

What do you reckon will happen?


The gore will be sublimely horrible

As Joe rather excellently pointed out recently, 2008 has been one hell of a year for corporeal disassembly and detonation. There are major reasons behind it all, lying within both the world of games technology and the wider world at large, and it's very unlikely that any of those catalysts for carnage will go away in 2009.

Above: Hasbro Family Game Night '09

In fact, given that games are an iterative industry built round refining and improving previous works, we fully expect that 2009's action and horror games are going to be downright savage. Tactical dismemberment was just the start. There's every chance we'll be peeling corpses, pulling apart the insides and wearing the skins before the year is out. Ideally with the Wii remote.


Casual gaming will see a considerable drop-off

Over the last two years we've seen daytime TV hosts talking up Wii Sports or Wii Fit or Brain Training - shows predominantly watched by olds and ginned-up housewives. The face of gaming has changed - now it's okay for people who previously shunned games to say it's their favourite hobby. This vast group of people have got a name - 'casual gamers'. And Nintendo have made a fortune out of the poor suckers.

Above: Casual gamers: They failed then, they’ll fail even harder in 2009

But consider this: When we're deep into a recession and counting the pennies, who will be buying games? Buying consoles? Supporting the games industry? Not granny. She's wishing she'd bought an electric fire instead of a DS. Not 'Mum A' who can't feed the kids because she splashed out on a Wii. Bit of an non-essential impulse purchase? Sucked in by a fad were we?

The fact is, if 2009 pans out to be as economically bleak as the financial doom-sayers suggest, it will only be the hardcore who continue to spend their hard-earned cash on games. Like they have every month. The casual gamer? You can forgot about them.


 
48 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Jordo141  - 10 months 18 days ago 
Brillant article
Z-man427  - 10 months 18 days ago 
I doubt Jade will be back until 2010. I hope you're right though. she's pretty hot
Tasty_Pasta  - 10 months 18 days ago 
"More loved than Bambi, Morgan Freeman and Fridays combined"

Hahahaha, GR, you're fantastic. I have high hopes for '09
fionnoh  - 10 months 18 days ago 
"Motion Plus will only invigorate games if developers make titles founded on interesting mechanics, inventive premises or deep gameplay."

they wont, of course they wont. and if they do i'll die climbing the mountain of shovelware trying to get to it.
Bored6666  - 10 months 18 days ago 
yes 2009: the year well all be rubbing the inside of lucky pocket about jade raymond. "cough" hope the wii comes back to ther hard core and the psp comes back into focus, hopefull with other titles like resistance psp.
sixboxes  - 10 months 18 days ago 
Smart of you to put Jade Raymond at the end of the article. I wouldn't have remembered a single word had you put her photo at the beginning.
Jimmyjammy  - 10 months 18 days ago 
Oh I don't think I'll ever get over the loss of Timesplitters 4. For me this is like someone saying that there isn't going to be a new Metal Gear Solid, y'know, other than Hideo kojima (after every sequel).
cjzoom  - 10 months 18 days ago 
haha :D
tumbleweed dlc for home :P
Mackster-901  - 10 months 18 days ago 
how does the ds have good games..........ther sh*t psp r betta

add me 4 ps3 Mackster-901
Synster  - 10 months 18 days ago 
I have yet to experience the greatness I have heard that is LittleBigPlanet, and I await to, but, I think Sony has enough logic to not burn Sackboy out to utter Death, like Nintendo has Mario and Link(Though the Legend of Zelda games have been properly diversed throughout Handhelds and Consoles, amazingly).
ELpork  - 10 months 18 days ago 
PS: Tekken 6: Ultra bloodline remix on the PSP is a no brainier as well.
Snarf  - 10 months 18 days ago 
What is SecuROM, I keep hearing abount it but I don't know what it is exactly.
TrIp13G  - 10 months 18 days ago 
Jade Raymond = meh. The rest is dead-on for me, though.
RandyChimp  - 10 months 18 days ago 
i pretty much agree on everything there. Sony should make the sackboy their mascot, release LBP on PSP, really fix Home (PROPERLY!!!) and the wii will slowly fall. It's harsh of me to say, but the only reason its WAAAAAAAY ahead is casual gamers and gamers dragged into a fad. once that falls apart, it'll be in the same league as the ps3 and 360, in terms of monthly sales. I wouldn't mind fair sales actually, i like the idea of all the machines selling well. of course, that won't stop people being assholes online.
RebornKusabi  - 10 months 18 days ago 
The only thing I can remember about Jade Raymond is that hilarious comic she was "in", you know the one. What exactly is it that she did that was so important besides hold coat racks and fetch the other programmers coffee and food? Whatever...

However you want real female role models in gaming then you gotta start with where they really matter- in video games. Chell, Alex Vance, Shanoa and others that I have forgotten have already paved the way, now it all relies on the game companies to figure out that "Hey, we ask gamers DO actually want strong female leads that are not half-naked and have huge tittie; I swear, we already know what new character is going to be in Soul Caliber 5... Ivy's breast! They are getting so massive that they might as well give them their own portrait!

Oh and I would count Casual Mommy and Granny out of the picture just yet- there are still going to be decently rediculious sells on Casual games this year if the 2 goddamn million units of the Wii being sold is any indication of it! >_> In fact, I'm pretty positive that those "games" will over-shadow the better ones a la No More Heroes. I wouldn't call the success of the Wii a fad either- many of these same people that bought a Wii also said gaming as a whole was a fad during the late 80's/early 90's.

Here is to hoping on Sega ****ing listening to people and making a 2-D Sonic game but the odds of that happening are very slim. Also I'm tired of Sony's ignorance, they need to get their shit together and make some good games besides MGS4, LBP and... actually that's all I can think of right now lol! Considering I own all three systems, I seem to be spending more time with my 360 then I do with my Wii or PS3 and that is pretty sad.

Needless to say, good article and good job!
Tochy  - 10 months 18 days ago 
jade ftw
GoldenMe  - 10 months 18 days ago 
@Mackster- FFFFFFFFAAAAAIIILLLLZZZZZZZZ
dandubya  - 10 months 18 days ago 
Very good article. That pic you used for Home sh!tting the bed is some of the after effects Chernobyl disatster. It's right next to the famous Farris Wheel. Just thought I'd point that out.
zymn  - 10 months 18 days ago 
whoa.
Jade Raymond SHOULD return.


But in Playboy. :D
animeman  - 10 months 18 days ago 
the psp really needs to step it up or it will fail before the end of the year.
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