The era: You're living it

The games: Ninja Gaiden Sigma, Bullet Witch, Portal, Heavenly Sword, Wet, Rumble Roses XX

The babes: Racheal, Alicia, Chell, Nariko, Rubi, a slew of oiled-up lasses

Stage in evolution: With the advent of HDTV, the fake girls of today have started to look more and more lifelike. Oh, they're still impossibly endowed and would probably be begging for breast reduction surgery, but you can't deny how far science is willing to go to provide fap material for males with disposable income. Racheal is a walking sex joke, wearing the single most ridiculous fighting attire this side of Ivy's boob eclipse - Alicia, despite being an obvious ploy for smut cash, seems tame by comparison.

Rumble Roses seems more like a T&A tech demo than a real game, while Wet... well, it's a game called Wet. Where do you think the focus will be in that adventure, especially when she's being billed as the next Lara Croft? Ten bucks says there's a "Wet T-shirt" achievement in there somewhere.

But worry not - there are a handful of normal-ish women who try to keep the whoring to a minimum. Nariko is more or less Racheal, but with a paycheck's worth of extra clothes on and a much stronger presence. Then there's poor Alyx from Half-Life 2, so well-rounded and competent that we couldn't even fit her in the image above. Do her a favor and buy Orange Box, will ya?

What these games taught us: Even though video games have been around for decades, we really haven't come all that far from the shocking beginnings of "women are sexual prey who exist to be stared at." Instead of tying them to trees or watching them prance around naked, we dress them up in as little clothing as possible and then spend hours posing them into compromising positions. We'd be lying if we said we didn't enjoy it, but that doesn't mean we don't look over our shoulder every time find a sweet spot in DOAX.

Did we forget to mention Tecmo made a SECOND "fantasy sports simulation?" It's easily the worst offender of all time. Reputable company, solid license and yet no redeeming qualities at all. That said, we're sure you won't object to the trailer.