So what can you do in Germany? Kill robots and aliens. Which is why Konami's classic shoot-em-up Contra is known there as Probotector. Does the name give you a clue? That's right, the playable characters and their enemies are all robots.

Look how the sprite here was changed from the man on the right-hand side to the robot on the left. If that sounds a bit over-the-top, it hasn't gotten any better in recent years. Just look at this 'death' in a match of Team Fortress 2:

Like the cogs? That's right, you're a robot so there's no killing involved. Even the original Half-Life was changed to include 'robot' damage to the marine character models when you shoot them – and you can't kill the scientists. They just sit down and shake their heads.

Guns without consequences… is this really such a good idea? Guess it's not for us to judge. It is quite funny to see videos on YouTube of German gamers playing with an 'uncut' patch, gleefully running round killing every scientist as messily as they can. But can you blame them when they have to put up with... this?

As if that wasn't enough, Gears of War, Crackdown and Dead Rising have all been refused ratings in Germany due to their graphic violence. And as Microsoft won't allow unrated games to be published, the only way gamers of legal age can play them is to get them imported. At least they're worth the trouble.