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8 officially licensed WTF?! products

We show you batshit-insane merchandise to market the most popular games

Words: Shane Patterson, GamesRadar US

19 Comments

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It’s natural for videogame companies to get a little marketing-happy. Hell, if we had a popular franchise, we’d whore it out as much as we could too. (By the way, make sure to check out GamesRadar for all your gaming-related needs!) Anyway, we’ve stumbled upon so much dreadful, officially licensed merchandise over the years, we couldn’t help but laugh at how poorly they portrayed the games they were based on. Get ready to bask your eyes in the most confusing products that ever marketed a game.

Image courtesy of www.themushroomkingdom.net

Nintendo Cereal System

What is this crap?

A diabetes-trap starring two of your favorite NES franchises - Super Mario Bros. and The Legend of Zelda - each with their own cereal, in one funderful box of sugar.

WTF?

Even with cereal-specific shapes like Goombas and Heart Pieces, the marketing geniuses at Ralston Cereals (now known for producing dog food) distinguish the two incredibly different flavors as “fruity” and “berry” - which is kinda like saying “food group” and “part of food group.” We never thought that a balanced breakfast would perfectly embody the spirit of Mario’s platforming and Link’s quest for the master sword - but yup, it’s true. Consuming cereal is totally like playing your NES. Now finish eating your billboard, kids.

19 Comments

Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First

CashWheel - 10 months 25 days ago

First!

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SkullSplitter - 10 months 13 days ago

Hey, who wouldn't want Pikachu car? LOL

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Catherine - 10 months 12 days ago

There was some better Nintendo cereal. It was Pokemon cereal. It had marshmallows!

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dynomit272 - 10 months 12 days ago

want the pikachu car!
want the pokémon cereal!
both must be awesome

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norcemastero - 10 months 12 days ago

i'd like to snag a copy or to of that doujinshi

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thatonekid1995 - 10 months 12 days ago

The first 7 pages were alright but then page 8 was extremely uncomfortable especially when being observed with your younger brother at side

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EvilInkarnate - 10 months 11 days ago

Wow!! The Japanese truly terrify me. Between game hentai and the creepy pillow, the Pikachu car that reminds me of Ren with a cranked up Happy Helmet on, I hope to never go to Japan. The Mario cup though...?? ::shudders::

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SheetSandwich - 10 months 10 days ago

The Japenese are sick, psycotic, sexualy repressed freaks. It's a generalization, but it stands true in this case.

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smellypeanut - 10 months 10 days ago

Oh come on guys, like you've never masturbated to dojinshi before.

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thephntm - 10 months 7 days ago

lol hentai is for hornys

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Squall5005 - 6 months 9 days ago

I know this is an old article but it annoys me that you have slated the Tetris board game.

If you had done your research you would know that it was a board game that inspired Tetris, not the other way around.

The game was is called 'Pentomino' and the idea of the game is to fill the given field without leaving any gaps or spaces.

Alexey Pazhitnov was inspired by 'Pentomino' and eventually created out beloved 'Tetris'

So Tetris is infact the Anti-Pentomino.

I do love Tetris and I still play it to this day. But the fact that you seem to be so angry about this board game would make me think you too are a big tetris fan. But your limited knowledge suggests otherwise.

I do agree that this would make an terrible birthday present.

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Hellwilder - 5 months 17 days ago

lol at Hentai xD
I mean, those are things only disturbed minds draw :S

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ranzatsu - 3 months 25 days ago

Japanese people creep me out. Someone I know read one of those doujinshi of Tifa and Aerith making out and to add up the horror, Cloud was watching. Freaky, huh?

And the Tetris board should be given to retards, not actual human society. No offense.

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uz_mike222 - 3 months 24 days ago

i agree with you entirely on both things ranzatsu, its basically get bitched slapped by a dog. its creepy and humiliating at the same time. but i will give the Japanese one thing: Godzilla.

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egregious - 3 months 22 days ago

I had a Sonic the Hedgehog helmet. :( I make no apologies!

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Gaypenguinman - 3 months 22 days ago

The last thing i would ever expect is a drive-by from a pikachu car.

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AA95mp - 2 months 21 days ago

that hentai is disturbing. and lol at gaypenguinmans comment.

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comm22 - 2 months 20 days ago

i fucking love living in japan. theres a car dealership down the street that sells the pickachcu car and there are 2 different pokemon airplanes here too lol

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