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2008's best games so far SUCK!

They were critically acclaimed. They were loved by millions. Now meet the GamesRadar editors who can't STAND them

Words: GamesRadar UK

GamesRadar score: 10 Metacritic score: 93 on 360, 92 on PS3

Notable review quotes:

“…Rock Band with four players in the same room is quite something to be a part of, a game not only an evolution of the genre but of the social side of gaming itself” - Edge

“The best bits will match any adrenaline high a game's ever given you” - Xbox World 360 Magazine UK

Hated by: George Walter, UK Site Editor

There's no two ways about it - you are all WRONG about Rock Band. It is not in any way dignified to stand in your house beating the plastic instruments. You look like a penis. You and your whole band.

You say - it's all a bit of fun, it's 'social', it gets the cool kids thinking videogames aren't just the domain of the geeklord. It makes you feel like a rock star... Hang on. Stop right there. Look at what you are doing. You are not in the garage giving mum and dad seizures with a 13 minute two chord, feedback-filled epic. You're in your stupid house, doing something controlled and safe in front of your widescreen TV, pressing big clickety clackety coloured buttons on a toy guitar of the sort they give problem children who can’t be trusted with anything that has sharp edges.

That's my major problem with Rock Band - it spits in the face of musical creativity and improvisation. It says - in what is the antithesis of the very fabric of rock 'n' roll - that every song has to be played absolutely perfectly. If you miss a note and deviate from the binary train tracks of coloured blotches you FAIL. Try telling that to Jimi Hendrix. If he wasn’t dead.

This is not a 'musical' game. It requires the talent of a soulless robot, not a musician. Anyone good at Rock Band is the opposite of a creative artist, they’re simply good at memorising vast streams of monotonous button presses. Skills that would make a good touch typist. See, if you were really rock and roll you'd have smashed up the drums, guitars and TV when the game had the audacity to tell you you'd played a song wrong. If you want I can lend you a hammer.


 
3 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Kefsquall  - 1 year 2 months ago 
This is year just looked to be the better of all the industry years since 1987. As soon as the year started, we've all realized the greatness it woud be. But as the monts go on, i've seen it isn't what it should be. Devil May Cry 4 was just about the same as the third and first. Then, Super Smash bros. Brawl leads me to boredom as i've seen that those tons of things didn't work together well, and the major title was far worse than melee. And then, Patapon, proved to be an incredible game, just turned out to have no replay value over time. Metal Gear Solid 4 & GTA IV holds as the major games this year so far. And then there is the desappointments. Oh, those same desappoinments hitting us in 2006. Haze was a bad game. Ninja Gaiden II was far worse than the first and had one of the worse storylines of all time. The Wii survived with titles as No More Heroes and even the surprisingly good Boom Blox.

The fighting genre got Soul Calibur IV, but that's a game i've played almost three times
as the prequels are all pretty much the same as the forth chapter. Street fighter IV proved to be a very artiscally pleasing game, but it'n not out yet. The racing games got Burnout Paradise, a game everyone probably just played for the graphics. The same genre got GRID, GT5: prologue and Mario Kart Wii, but all of them was just quite good, none was really a revolution neither an mere evolution. Spore is an short game i've played for once and don't intend to play again, ending up the 8th month in 2008 with only 2 games i've really wanted to play.

But the hope isn't lost now that the end of the year holds up so many promises. Fable II, Fallout 3, Little Big Planet, Mirror's Edge, Dead Space, Starcraft 2 may turn the industry sound up. The problem is: what shall i do with my Wii? Did Nintendo forgot it's new console? Did third party games just suck? How can Nintendo let 2008 ending up as a fighting/miscellanous game as the GOTY contender? Anyway GamesRadar, greeting for the criativity and all of the heart about the features. A lot of things i've been begging to see in a website was found here, inspiring my gaming editor Career.

Sorry for the Brazillian-english, and for the incredibly long text i've just read. Anyway, Keed up the good work!
Kefsquall  - 1 year 2 months ago 
I've just write*
Telekinesis  - 1 year 2 months ago 
Lucas is the main character from the famous SNES RPG Earthbound, known as Mother in Japan.
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